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Most awkward not job interview interview thing.

(16 Posts)
ItsLeviooosar Tue 23-Jun-20 23:34:34

I quit my previous job in October, I had a mental breakdown and had to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ptsd from a previous sexual trauma. I felt well enough in March to apply for a new job

I had an interview in March for an NHS position, I got the job. I have been waiting for all the employment checks and crap like that. Then they decided I needed a character reference as I had been unemployed for 8 months, so got one, and then they wanted to know precisely why I left my job and what happened. I was vague.

Today I had a meeting with a manager and she asked so many personal questions I actually feel like saying to stuff the job.

She asked if we were trying for a baby any time soon and what contraception we were using. Didn’t answer that one, and then basically said if I didn’t go into details about my mental breakdown she wasn’t sure if she could support me and wouldn’t give me the job. So I told her and then she said ‘thanks I appreciate that, you didn’t have to tell me’ 😬

WTF?! Do I complain ? Do I just get over it?

OP’s posts: |
growinggreyer Tue 23-Jun-20 23:38:27

Maybe you could ask what use this information will be put to, where it will be stored etc so that they get the message that she has overstepped and been nosy.

ItsLeviooosar Tue 23-Jun-20 23:41:16

She said it was t going to go any further than her but she wanted to know why id had time off so she could make a decision on my suitability.

The baby thing threw me hugely. DH said I should complain but I need this job so badly

OP’s posts: |
Waveysnail Tue 23-Jun-20 23:45:04

Baby thing is totally inappropriate. However the other questions would depend upon the situation you are applying for, the risk factors etc

OneMetreWithMitigation Tue 23-Jun-20 23:45:38

I'd probably flush my pills and get on with baby making tbh. The sooner the better just to see her face. grin

milkysmum Tue 23-Jun-20 23:45:58

I am a manager and worked for the NHS for many many years. The questions are completely inappropriate and you are well within your rights to complain. Have you been offered the job? If you have go now to HR, if you are still waiting to hear I might be tempted to bide my time, and then complain. This person needs to realise how unacceptable this is though. Was there no one else present at the interview?

OneMetreWithMitigation Tue 23-Jun-20 23:46:05

Baby thing isn't "inappropriate". It's illegal

Splitsunrise Tue 23-Jun-20 23:49:41

She asked what contraception you use????!!

ItsLeviooosar Tue 23-Jun-20 23:50:46

@milkysmum I got offered the job back in April, it's purely my new manager who wanted to know this information and no one else was present in the interview. She said she felt awkward asking me over the phone so asked me to come in. Then she asked a bit about my experience. Then she wanted to know why I left my job and what happened to me mentally to make me leave my job. I really regret going if I'm honest!

OP’s posts: |
Bellecurves Wed 24-Jun-20 00:06:40

Write down as much of the conversation as you can recall then email the notes to yourself. Then contact HR. I'm outraged on your behalf.

Atthebottomofthegarden Wed 24-Jun-20 00:09:04

That’s appalling. Email HR.

BrummyMum1 Wed 24-Jun-20 00:21:13

Really shocked, that’s awful. I’m not sure I’d start the job off with a complaint but write it all down and complain at a later date. It won’t serve you to ruffle feathers as soon as you start but this needs to be fed back to HR at some point.

LonginesPrime Wed 24-Jun-20 00:27:00

I would tell them to stuff the job, and definitely tell HR why - the baby/contraception stuff is shocking and illegal, and prying into your MH stuff to that degree was completely unnecessary.

It sounds like she's either on some power trip or is completely oblivious to the law/social norms/human decency - either way, not the kind of person I'd want to work for. Can you imagine??

BusyProcrastinator Wed 24-Jun-20 00:32:08

Please speak to HR. This is not okay.

famousforwrongreason Wed 24-Jun-20 00:34:50

Pretty sure she has contravened both equality act and employment laws.
Any questions, particularly in an NHS job should be addressed in the separate occupational health section and if hr wants to flag it up that's done as a separate discussion. With hr, not in an interview scenario. I'd say she's abusing her position.
Sorry for you. I have ptsd and had to leave a very triggering job.
I had job interviews whilst in the throes of a breakdown. Unbelievably I got job offers from all of them .
Personally, I'd complain but you might not need that at the moment. She's giving you big clues what it would be like to work with her.
You never know, yours might be one in a line of complaints and could see her gone.
Sending hugs, understanding and solidarity.

DuineArBith Wed 24-Jun-20 00:35:25

She has really shot herself in the foot when asking about contraception etc. That is clear discrimination and, if she decided not to take you on, could give you a valid employment tribunal claim. Whereas you couldn't claim for anything like unfair dismissal because you haven't been there long enough, you could claim for sex discrimination.

I suspect if HR knew they'd be utterly horrified. It may well be worth taking this up with them.

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