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Aibu to relax the home learning now

(47 Posts)
Teadrinker6 Tue 23-Jun-20 09:30:10

Morning everyone. Anyone else feeling like they just can't really do much more home schooling? My kids now have zero motivation for it and in secret so do I.
We started out well and have done absolutely everything that the school sent to us every 2 weeks. Its enough work for about 2 to 3 hours a day covering all subjects. This has been since March and we have really tried our best in difficult circumstances. My 9 year old has adhd and has a melt down each morning before we start the work. He will then answer 1 question then get up and do a handstand or roll about on the floor. Then come back and do another question. This is very frustrating for me (been in tears a lot) and it's very distracting for his younger sister who is sitting quietly at the table trying to get in with her own work..
There are 4 weeks left of the school term now and if they were really in school they would be winding down now. The set of work they sent us yesterday had the most work in it they've ever sent, double the amount of usual, at least 4 hours a day.

Aibu to filter all the "extras" out such as music, topic work, art, r.e etc and just focus on maths and English. Truthfully I just want to stop altogether

OP’s posts: |
Prettybluepigeons Tue 23-Jun-20 09:34:16

School would NOT be winding down . These last weeks are the complete opposite, trying to fill in gaps, tick off targets, do assessments.
It is really important to keep going! If ds doesn't work well first thing then is working later on an option? Can he and your daughter work at different times so she doesn't get distracted?

Persiaclementine Tue 23-Jun-20 09:37:42

Having the same issue. I dont want to stop but we havent done much in the last two weeks realy. I need to get some sheets printed off and get into a routine with it.

starrynight87 Tue 23-Jun-20 09:37:46

I wouldn't stop with the fun, creative subjects!

This stage is always hard because kids can sense the holidays coming, but it's about sticking with it and making sure they have lots of breaks.

Would doing some meditation or breathing help your son before starting work, so he's not angry before he begins?

Also be kind to yourself!

CheshireDing Tue 23-Jun-20 09:39:18

We have always filtered out the other stuff anyway (plus then done our own stuff), we save Fridays for art and baking and general well-being type stuff.

Mon-Thurs we do English maths and science then tag anything else on.

We haven’t done any music at all and on the school stuff where they read a story on line and then ask the children to draw their own description etc we don’t do those things.

I am schooling 3 of different ages so we are sticking with the super important stuff and that’s it. They takes us about 4 hours anyway.

Teadrinker6 Tue 23-Jun-20 09:41:16

I knew I would get picked up on that straight away. Lol. There are many many children who have done absolutely nothing from day 1. We have done everything set since March.
The things they have sent us include :

Maths... Going over the fractions we've been learning for the past year
GPS.... Nouns, adjectives, conjunction work sheets, sent every 2 weeks just slightly different
Toic..... Create a travel brochure on a European city (don't see why we can't do this)
Topic..... Brexit!!!!
Science... Match photos to create food chains
R. E make a drawing of a Hindu statue
This is just a small part but i don't see how not drawing a picture of a statue and not creating a travel brochure is going to affect my child's education going forward

OP’s posts: |
HaveAtEm Tue 23-Jun-20 09:43:06

In answer to your question about would they be winding down in school, they wouldn't! Although parents like to say that this is what is happening, in reality that isn't actually true, except maybe in some afternoons in Year 6 when they are preparing for their leavers assembly. The rest of us still have end of year assessments to do and we have to get our class ready for the next year...they are still 'moving up' so we have to make sure that they don't slip over the summer by putting in as much learning as we can now! No matter what you like to 'believe', schools and teachers are held massively accountable and do NOT just do bugger all in the summer term! This kind of myth makes me really angry, and to hear and see it still constantly bandied about (usually to justify parents taking their children out of school but as in your case now, to justify just stopping home learning because, well you can't be bothered to parent your child and stop him from rolling around on the floor 🤷‍♀️) makes me wonder why we actually bother sometimes 🤬. Do what you want! You will anyway. Others will tell you it's ok...because they'll be feeling the same and will find a way to justify it somehow. I give up now 😢

minipie Tue 23-Jun-20 09:43:22

Since week 2 or 3 we have just focused on the Maths and English and anything else has depended on mood and how interested they are. So Topic usually gets done as does Art but French and Music are hit and miss and we have never ever done RE (it’s on a Friday afternoon...)

More important not to get super stressed and miserable than to tick off every single lesson IMO.

AudacityOfHope Tue 23-Jun-20 09:45:50

Oh fuck it, yes, I would!

We've gone down to doing four days a week with a Wednesday break. We also don't do things that just seem like pointless repetition, and we choose to do something else instead. Some days if it's sunny we say fuck it and go to the park.

I think everyone has had enough now and I can't see what difference it makes in the last few weeks of term if you relax a bit on the bloody Twinkl sheets.

justanotherneighinparadise Tue 23-Jun-20 09:50:28

Our school have gone from doing fuck all to now producing masses and masses of work. Just at the time we’ve all had enough. I will carry on but begrudgingly so.

BlindAssassin1 Tue 23-Jun-20 09:54:44

Teadrinker6 you're going to get a ton of answers telling you that you are failing your children if you don't double down on the pressure now, if you don't tick all the boxes, push and push your DC until every bit of work and more is done.

Maybe these people are doing this. In RL I don't know a single family that is carrying on like that. In our house we are honestly doing about an hour a day. We knocked the music set by the school on the head weeks ago. Maths and English are all I focus on too. They do art stuff on their own.

If its making anyone cry, for the love of God, stop. Its just miserable.
Short sharp bursts work for my 9 yo who has concentration problems. "Do the 4 and 8 times table, then do [something else] for a few minutes".

A friend who works in education said most people in the country will be doing little to absolutely nothing. You are doing fine OP.

He said the best thing you can do for them is support them in critical thinking, let them read anything they want and find some real life STEM stuff.

BlindAssassin1 Tue 23-Jun-20 09:58:09

i don't see how not drawing a picture of a statue and not creating a travel brochure is going to affect my child's education going forward

It won't, its busy work.

tigerbear Tue 23-Jun-20 09:58:41

OP, I think you’ve done brilliantly so far.
I honestly don’t know how you - or anyone else - does it with more than one child.
I only have one DD, and I feel like I’m losing it. We are def not doing more than 3 hours a day, and never have been.
I’d say we do approx 1.5 - 3 hours, but certainly not ticking off every single thing on the list from school.
I find it impossible to do everything.
DD’s school stipulate that some SPAG/Maths/Reading has to be done every day, but that other stuff is only suggested learning for the week.

justanotherneighinparadise Tue 23-Jun-20 09:59:30

The other thing worth saying is that the teachers will be going over work from the back end of the missed year group and so those of us who have gone over and above in terms of home education are going to have some very bored kids when they go back to school and hear it all again.

Ive already warned my son not to get complacent when he goes back and think he knows it all as his learning in some areas is not yet secure. I suspect though he may go back and just zone out.

IndigoSkye Tue 23-Jun-20 10:05:04

Do what's right for you and your family, this is a really stressful and prolonged period and it doesn't matter whether other people are doing loads or none at all. And i don't think comparing it to school and whether or not they wind down is helpful either. It's not school and you're trying to teach your DC in a difficult, stressful situation and an environment they don't normally associate with school work.
If you think you and your kids would benefit from relaxing the home learning, there would be less stress and everyone would be happier, for me that would be enough benefit to do so. However if you think the routine of school work is beneficial to them and they enjoy doing it once they've started you may want to continue.
I think it's bad enough being stuck at home with the same four people 24/7, in our house tempers are fraying easily and I have two girls who get incredibly anxious. For me it's more important to keep everybody calm and stress levels down, if we have a good day and do a bit of work, great, if we have a bad day then I will give it a miss!

Teadrinker6 Tue 23-Jun-20 10:07:41

@HaveAtEm I'm sorry but your rant as made me laugh. You honestly think that all of your pupils families have the time, resources, energy, health, motivation to do every piece of work set, some of which is completely pointless and has no educational value whatsoever? You must live on another planet!!!
I think I have achieved huge things with my kids, probably more than they would have learnt at school as I'm doing it one to one. My child has SEN and I do not appreciate your comments towards him. If you are truly a teacher and that's how you feel towards children with SEN in your class then you shouldn't be in the profession.
And also if you are a teacher then how come you have just answered my question on mumsnet at 9.43am on a Tuesday morning, shouldn't you be in school?

OP’s posts: |
ShadowsInTheDarkness Tue 23-Jun-20 10:08:46

Well we are going to keep going right through the summer hols albeit with a few days off here and there. But my DC both have SEN and are behind, and lockdown has given me the opportunity to focus on their areas of weakness and try and catch them up a bit. School can't spend all day every day getting DD to practise her phonics for example, but I can devote several hours every day to this and she is making substantial progress.

I would advise getting a bit more creative especially with your son. Home schooling is not about sitting at a table writing, it's about sneaking the learning in! Science experiments, visit a historical landmark, baking for weights and measures, build a model of a motte and bailey castle. Throw a ball to each other while chanting times tables, do long jump at home and get them to measure and record the distance of each jump and then plot it on a graph together etc.
Admittedly this involves looking at the work school are setting, adapting it and not sending it in, which may not be a popular move with your school? Ours have okayed me using this approach but both my DCs have SEN and school cannot currently provide the 1 to 1 support required for them to be back in school so they were already on the back foot.

Fred578 Tue 23-Jun-20 10:09:01

HaveAtEm you judgemental nasty piece of work. Your comment made my blood boil. She can’t be bothered to parent her child?? I have a child with ADHD and I wish it was as simple as just stopping them doing things like rolling on the floor. Piss off back to your high horse

Teadrinker6 Tue 23-Jun-20 10:12:50

Thanks everyone for you comments. I will do that then. I never once said I was stopping the learning, I will continue with maths and English.
The other time filling activities we will leave off now. I personally think this has been a mammoth task for all parents and to hear teachers speaking in such a negative way about our efforts is just disgusting

OP’s posts: |
Teadrinker6 Tue 23-Jun-20 10:14:39

Oh just to add, our school are not marking the work or even going to look at it at all

OP’s posts: |
EasynowPatrick Tue 23-Jun-20 10:15:20

@HaveAtEm it’ll be the same parents complaining when their kids go back and expecting you to catch their kids up! We’ve had the odd day off as it’s been hard, but I will not be allow my kids to fall behind in core subjects no matter how much they complain. I know even with what I’m doing at home, they won’t have made the progress over these 6 months that they would have done at school.

GwenSaturn Tue 23-Jun-20 10:15:37

Sounds like you need a break from it at least. How about an inset day or even a week off school work but they must promise to come back to it nicely next week?

Home skills instead? Baking, sewing, gardening. They're important too.

This is such a hard time for parents and the kids, don't push yourself to tears over this. Mental health is more important than schoolwork.

I've been very ill with a Covid for 12 weeks, so my priority has been staying alive and keeping the kids happy and safe instead. I'll catch up over summer when I'm better, the completely teachers understand.

AllsortsofAwkward Tue 23-Jun-20 10:20:04

Haveatem totally unnecessary comment quite frankly I would worry if you were my childs teacher you're attitude is appalling. We moved away from the lesson plans it was mainly English, some reading and maths with creative time to do what they want and abit of RE. Dd was struggling with the youtube video for a teacher going through the English lesson and for maths it was a 3 question quiz. Shes good at maths and needed to work on her English so we got aload of work books and getting her writing right and working on the areas we can improve.

Teadrinker6 Tue 23-Jun-20 10:23:21

@EasynowPatrick yes there will be parents moaning, those parents who have refused to do the work for no reason.
I don't fit in to this category as we have done ALL work set up to today since the 28th march.
I will continue to do all core subjects to the end of term and didn't say I wouldnt be.

OP’s posts: |
Frouby Tue 23-Jun-20 10:27:51

Ds is 6. Also struggles with sitting down and doing the work.

We do a couple of hours a couple of times a week. It's enough to keep him in a learning mindset and so he doesn't forget what he's already learned.

Our school has been pretty shit tbh.

What we have done is learn other things. He's more independent now, can make breakfast for himself (toast or cereal), looks after the animals food and water, learned to ride his bike, runs 5k with me, has prepared and planted up our allotment and now maintaining and harvesting our crop, been riding his pony and learning basic care, helped me decorate, takes responsibility for keeping his room tidy, loads and unloads the dishwasher. We've also discussed and learned about politics, health, talked about BLM, discussed what religion is, internet safety. A million and 1 different subjects as a 6 year old never stops thinking and talking.

Our children are unique in this time at home they have had and I personally think so much time with parents and siblings (for the majority of children) can be beneficial. Dd at 6 was very different, still quite dependent, tired after school all week, wrung out at a weekend.

I will be glad for September to come but in the meantime am doing what we can curriculum wise but also learning so much more about everything else. We will keep plodding on with school work over the summer. Will probably ramp things up a bit in August when the weather is usually a bit hit and miss but for now we are enjoying the sunshine and warm weather being outside as much as possible.

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