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To feel sick with worry over DHs cash job and universal credit

(185 Posts)
DHisaDick Mon 22-Jun-20 23:07:12

Hopefully the name change has worked as not surprisingly I dont want this linked to any of my other posting... apologies it's going to be long.

Me and DH don't have the best relationship as it is, and when it concerns anything financial it is even worse. He managed to hide serious financial issues and a gambling problem for a long, long time, leaving us in debt we are still dealing with two years later, however he has been gamble free for 18 months.

Up until lockdown DH had a steady job and we were able to cover all household bills and start paying off the debt he had go us into, I am a mature student / stay at home mum to our young DD, plus I provide a lot of childcare for his SD, and do a lot of pick ups and drop offs so DH was able to maintain his full time job. We claim universal credit, dont get a huge amount but its paid into my account and it covers the few direct debits that come from my account (car insurance and credit card payments mainly), we then have a joint account that his wage was paid into so I had access to money when ever I needed it.

The area DH worked in was it hard by lockdown and in early April he was made redundant, he hadn't been there long enough to receive any significant amount of money for that. Because of the debt we are in, monthly repayments are quite high, plus DH pays above the minimum for child maintenance for his DD, the maximum we receive in universal credit when DH isn't working doesn't cover all our outgoings, not even close.

A family member offered to pay me a small amount to do a bit of cleaning for them (£30 a fortnight) to try to help us out a little bit. I fully appreciate this takes me over the amount I can earn before I register as self employed but things were looking very desperate.

Thankfully DH has managed to find work in a new field, very well paid but self employed. This means that although he is paid via bank transfer, it doesn't go through HMRC iyswim, and is basically cash in hand. DH has decided he has no intention what so ever of registering as self employed and has decided that we should continue claiming the maximum amount of universal credit, and just pretend he is still unemployed.

This is making me feel very uncomfortable, as I'll be receiving the maximum amount in UC every month which we arnt entitled to. His new job is very well paid and would mean our UC entitlement would drop significantly. I've explained my concerns to DH and he has decided as I'll be receiving so much UC, he is going to get his new wage transferred into his own personal bank account instead of the joint one, as I will have more than enough money (the bigger expenses we have are paid through the joint account, not my own) and he is just going to transfer enough across to the joint one to cover the rent etc.

Basically this leaves me in a shit position. If I tell UC he is working, quite rightly UC will drop (his new earnings mean it will be less than £100) and I'll have hardly any money and i need roughly £300 a month to cover my outgoings from my personal account. If I don't tell UC he is working, were claiming fraudulently.

I'm in no position to leave right now, though I am planning to before the end of the year, so LTB, whilst an appropriate response really isn't helpful. I cant work right now, DH uses our car for work, public transport where we are now is a bit hit and miss still. I cant afford childcare for DD and I doubt DH is about to cough up for it, I have family near by but they are in the shielding category and it feels a bit unfair to put this upon them.
There is no way I'll get any credit to be able to get money to get me out of this situation any time soon, family can't loan me anything.
The job i intend to go into, that I've been working so hard towards since before DHs gambling fuck up, depends on integrity and I'll never get a job if I'm caught basically committing fraud.

No idea what I expect anyone to say tbh, I'll be surprised if anyone is still reading at this point sad

OP’s posts: |
converseandjeans Mon 22-Jun-20 23:13:44

I would also be worried. How much are you getting in UC? Is it similar to what you could earn? When you say well paid what type of amount? I'd probably put DD into childminder (cheaper than nursery) and start working to support myself - plus you'll get free nursery hours soon which will reduce costs.

I wouldn't want to rely on him tbh. I think he's planning to use the money to gamble/spend as he wishes rather than sort out debt payments. Otherwise he would just leave it in joint account for you to use to pay off the bills.

Why do you provide care for his other daughter?

amusedtodeath1 Mon 22-Jun-20 23:14:39

Don't lie for him OP, tell him you won't and he will have to cover the shortfall. Or alternatively kick him out now and make a genuine claim without fear of being done for fraud.

NewtonWasRight Mon 22-Jun-20 23:18:48

He's pressuring you to commit benefits fraud.

Every penny, plus more, will be recouped when (not if) an investigation happens. Which it will. Your DH is burying his head in the sand.

You need to get out and stay legally honest here. What if you're prosecuted and end up having children placed in foster care, ffs.

Your partner is being reckless with everyone's wellbeing here.

Is there any way a charity could help you get away before you can financially manage it? E.g. women's aid? Shelter maybe? He's basically financially abusing you to the point where it's become an accessory to benefit fraud or have no money.

NewtonWasRight Mon 22-Jun-20 23:21:03

Just 1 example.

What do you think happens to your daughter when all this is found out and prosecuted, op?

Ishoos Mon 22-Jun-20 23:22:44

I may be putting Teo and two together and making five, but is he trying to scupper your new career and stop you being able to leave. Do not let him ruin your future.

DHisaDick Mon 22-Jun-20 23:30:13

I was getting around £400 a month plus child benefit, this allowed me to cover all my outgoings plus over pay a little on my credit card. All other spending, I used the joint account. We were managing ok.

His earnings now will average over £2500 a month (its paid weekly and there is opportunity for over time, which I know DH will do). Universal credit will quite rightly drop to less that £50 a week, it wont even cover my bills and DH has made it clear he won't top it up.

I cant kick him out, he is named solely on the tenancy. It was very devious of DH how this came to be, and he managed to sign the new tenancy whilst I was on mat leave. I didn't even realise the old tenancy was up I was so sleep deprived at the time.

OP’s posts: |
DHisaDick Mon 22-Jun-20 23:35:03

Yes, I've long suspected he is deliberately keeping me reliant on him to prevent me leaving. But I honestly do not see a viable way of leaving, until September when I get another student loan and I have a lump sum of cash. But even then I have no idea how being a student effects universal credit, and I have credit cards with stupidly high Interest I dont even know if I can afford to leave then.

OP’s posts: |
MitziK Mon 22-Jun-20 23:39:24

I think you need to talk to Women's Aid, as that is financial abuse.

Better to leave and register as homeless/claim UC legitimately as a single parent than remain tethered to such a piece of shit - especially as he is well aware that when you are caught and prosecuted for fraud, he can say 'I didn't know she was still claiming it' and you would have to pay it back whilst being unable to claim it in the future. You can probably throw in an 'If you leave me, I'll tell Universal Credit you've been committing fraud all the time' whilst he's at it.

Shinesweetfreedom Mon 22-Jun-20 23:41:25

What tenancy,is it a private one or council.
With all this shit going on how long are you going to stay for

Babyroobs Mon 22-Jun-20 23:45:11

It is fraud and as your Uc claim is joint you will be jointly held responsible. It's really not worth getting caught over this.

Comefromaway Mon 22-Jun-20 23:46:50

It’s not cash in hand. The company who are paying him will be declaring it as one of their outgoings. Depending on their size and the sector, they may be audited. They will certainly be submitting accounts.

There is a huge paper trail here.

DHisaDick Mon 22-Jun-20 23:47:36

I dont think the 'I didn't know she was still claiming it' will wash, it's a joint claim. But ultimately a conviction will affect his career less than mine. He will still be able to work in his current job. My career will be over before it's even begun.

Tenancy is private. I paid the deposit. At the end of the tenancy the deposit was paid back to the joint account, DH paid a new deposit for the new tenancy (same house, we just came to the end of the tenancy and needed a new contract) in his name only the same day it went into the account. DD was very little at the time and I didnt notice sad when I called DH out on it, he claimed he didnt think I would want the commitment given I wasnt working at the time?

OP’s posts: |
DHisaDick Mon 22-Jun-20 23:50:36

The company he is working for is a smaller franchise of a very large company, not that it changes the severity of the situation.

DH has concluded that as his boss 'seems a bit dodgy', he won't get caught. Apparently my £30 a fortnight cash I got for cleaning makes me as bad as him, and technically hes not wrong.

OP’s posts: |
Whathewhatnow Mon 22-Jun-20 23:52:02

Just tell the DWP yourself. Ignore him. Do the right thing. He will simply have to cough up the money. Threaten him with shopping him to HMRC if you have to because I bet he isnt planning on paying tax either eh?

Comefromaway Mon 22-Jun-20 23:53:47

A family member giving you a small amount of cash per week in return for a favour versus 2,500 per month undeclared income.

Is he totally deluded?

Viviennemary Mon 22-Jun-20 23:53:57

You are both earning money not declared on your UC claim. Is this correct. You know that is cheating. What do you want people to say.

blubberyboo Mon 22-Jun-20 23:56:03

Yea I think your DH really doesn’t understand what cash in hand means. It actually means physical cash in your hand with no paper trail.
He is being incredibly dumb to think this can’t come back to bite him as HMRC and UC can find this out anytime over next 6 years. What a cloud to live under.
And yes if someone is paying him by bank transfer then sure as shit they are declaring it as an expense to keep their own tax bill down
And if you are the name on the benefit claim then you will get done for fraud not him.
Sorry you need to tell him you are declaring it and expect him to pay tax and give you money for bills. Tell him exactly what you need and don’t accept less then let him decide if he’s leaving. At least if he does you can genuinely claim as a single parent.

user1752463586 Mon 22-Jun-20 23:56:22

This is coercive control. Dragging you into fraud (which he would absolutely hold over you) is not an unusual tactic.

I second the suggestion of Women's Aid. You need support from organisations with expertise in supporting women to escape abusers, which is what he is.

DHisaDick Mon 22-Jun-20 23:56:26

No hes not planning on paying tax or NI.
My concern isn't particularly with him having to find the money to pay any of that, it the fact that, although he hasn't said it outright, he doesn't intend to 'share' his wage and I'll have no money. If I tell HMRC, my UC stops and then I have no way to keep on top of my own finances and so I spiral deeper into the shitty mess.

OP’s posts: |
Notcontent Mon 22-Jun-20 23:57:17

As someone else pointed out, he is not actually being paid in cash is he? He is being paid by bank transfer, so there is a very clear paper trail of where the money came from.

DHisaDick Tue 23-Jun-20 00:01:44

Yes, I'm aware theres a paper trail, I've explained this to him, however hes intending to treat it as if it is cash. Hes is just seeing ££££, how much money we would have having his wage and UC combined.

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Tue 23-Jun-20 00:02:42

Transfer your direct debits to the joint account if possible??

Get both sets of car keys, take him off the car insurance. Presumably the car is in your name as well as the finance payments?

Separate from him but remain living there. Ring up UC say you are now claiming as a single person living in the same house.

This means you do nothing for him or your DSD/DSS - no cooking, shopping, washing, cleaning, no looking after them. Put a claim into CMS. Speak to a solicitor and draw up divorce papers and get them served.

You may have to argue with DWP but you are entitled to claim whilst living in the same property. Providing you are living separate lives. Move into to your DC room.

I agree with speaking to WA.

Could you move to your family/parents temporarily? Only 4 months until student loan comes through?

He has shown you what he thinks of you, time to extricate yourself and fast.

WaitingForEgg Tue 23-Jun-20 00:03:31

Report the change in income. It isn’t worth risking your future and your children for him. He sounds like a piece of shit frankly. Leave and enjoy your life

user1752463586 Tue 23-Jun-20 00:07:23

In terms of your cleaning income, do you mean register as self employed for UC or tax?

Because at least as far as tax goes surely it would have been less than £1000 per year and therefore below threshold:

On top of speaking to Women's Aid it sounds like you would also benefit from help from Citizen's Advice and/or a debt charity, e.g. in terms of how best to handle the credit cards. There are things that can be done to help with this.

There are ways to eliminate the obstacles that are making you feel trapped, taking them one at a time. Although I appreciate they must feel overwhelming and insurmountable from your position and when you're looking at them all together.

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