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To think people do not know what a healthy weight looks like.

(347 Posts)
reducingfootprint Mon 22-Jun-20 18:47:26

I am a healthy weight for my height and i constantly get comments on my weight like "gosh youre tiny" or "i could just pick you up" and "what do you eat to be small, just eat a burger" from people i work with etc. Do people really not know what a healthy weight is anymore? I just think "im not tiny i am a healthy weight and yes i do eat fucking burgers"
Im glad shops are more inclusive and plus size models are more common but i still think commenting on someones size is wrong no matter the size.

OP’s posts: |
Eckhart Mon 22-Jun-20 18:50:46

I've got a friend who really struggles to keep weight on. She's paranoid about being too thin, so comments about how slender she's looking, which are supposed to be compliments, play right on her insecurities. Bit like saying to an overweight person 'Gosh, you're looking particularly wide today!'.

I think we should all just shut up about it unless the person raises it themselves and wants to talk about it.

LadyPrigsbottom Mon 22-Jun-20 18:56:25

I agree with the pp. People should absolutely never comment on someone's weight, even if they believe it to be a compliment.

Do people know what a healthy weight looks like? Um...some people probably do and others don't. I don't think what you are describing sounds like people who genuinely are concerned about your weight though; they are probably envious tbh! All that "eat a burger" nonsense. Please! And I say this as someone who is really quite overweight!

Chicchicchicchiclana Mon 22-Jun-20 18:58:16

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fallsballs Mon 22-Jun-20 19:00:18

I’m very tiny, like teeny tiny. I often get asked if I fall down drains or cattle grills. I do.

Missillusioned Mon 22-Jun-20 19:01:01

I think you're right. I'm told I'm very slim by people. I'm not. I'm 5ft 6 and about 10 stone. This is a normal weight, but not 'very slim' by any stretch of the imagination

reducingfootprint Mon 22-Jun-20 19:01:13

@Eckhart i dont think being a healthy weight should be a compliment, its a bit like saying "well done for doing what the average human should be doing"

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ConstantlySeekingHappiness Mon 22-Jun-20 19:01:15

@Chicchicchicchiclana

Are you ok?

TheOrigBrave Mon 22-Jun-20 19:01:19

I'm underweight and never get any comments about my size, weight, what I eat.

What do you think it is about the people or you which attracts such comments, OP?

Doggyperson Mon 22-Jun-20 19:02:32

No they don't. Most people are overweight nowadays so it's become normal.
I used to be obese 20 yes ago and I was in the minority, now I'd fit in fine.

We're definitely getting bigger.

reducingfootprint Mon 22-Jun-20 19:02:40

@Missillusioned yeah it gets annoying doesnt it!

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PoloNeckKnickers Mon 22-Jun-20 19:04:44

Message deleted by MNHQ for quoting deleted post. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fallsballs Mon 22-Jun-20 19:06:03

Hate to break the news poloknickers - this is a chat forum.

Browzingss Mon 22-Jun-20 19:06:07

Absolutely - there’s a significant amount of slim people who don’t have a disorder. I’m a size 6/8 but I’m also 23 and highly active, so have a high metabolism (and short). If I’m being honest, most of my mates are slim and I know they don’t have perfect diets either. For some of us, being slim is just our natural weight so reading comments about unhealthy/unnatural being a size 6/8 is comes across as patronising.

imissmydad Mon 22-Jun-20 19:06:21

You're not wrong op. I'm overweight and wear a size 12, id have been a 16 in the 90s I think. Vanity sizing plus being used to seeing overweight people as the norm play a part.
My son is 90th centile for weight. My mum keeps saying he's perfectly slim and trying to over feed him. He is tall but he's still slightly too heavy for his height I think so I just quietly limit his intake of unhealthy foods.

gypsywater Mon 22-Jun-20 19:07:55

I'm a Size 8, BMI 19 and get this a lot. Always from massive women hmm

Scruffbob Mon 22-Jun-20 19:09:07

I totally agree, I lost weight a few years ago and as soon as I approached the top of the healthy weight bmi for my height I got loads of comments about taking it too far, getting too thin. Persistently, for quite a while. I don't have strange or disordered eating habits so the only thing I could think was exactly what you've observed.

gypsywater Mon 22-Jun-20 19:09:22

Also my mum is 5'2" and 9 stone and people always ask me if she has lost weight and how she looks "skinny". Shes a Size 10 for God's sake and has always been the same weight. Its nuts.

Scruffbob Mon 22-Jun-20 19:10:30

By strange or disordered habits I mean habits they could have observed which may have led them to believe I had problems with eating. Nope, none of that to fuel these kinds of comments.

Duckfinger Mon 22-Jun-20 19:11:59

Absolutely agree.
I say that as a woman who looks average size, wears a 14/16 and whenever I say I'm dieting am told I'm not fat. But am actually obese with a BMI of 31 (coming down slowly was 33)

HandsOffMyRights Mon 22-Jun-20 19:12:09

I've voted YABU as it feels like a stealth boast which is why pps were bored.

Browzingss Mon 22-Jun-20 19:14:32

How is being “small” a stealth boast? People that are “small” can still feel insecure with their figure, being small doesn’t mean you have a nice bum/boobs/shapely hourglass figure/washboard abs etc. Regardless of someone’s size it’s still insensitive to pass comment

reducingfootprint Mon 22-Jun-20 19:14:58

@gypsywater yes always! im the same as you! They always ask what i eat and then dont believe when i tell them!

OP’s posts: |
CarterBeatsTheDevil Mon 22-Jun-20 19:15:40

I don't think you can assume that people are saying what they really think. I'm 20 stone and people seriously say things like "You're not fat" to me. They seriously do. I know they cannot possibly actually think that. The truth is that we live in a world where being fat is considered to be the worst thing in the world and being thin is great, and so some people tell anyone with a nice not too big figure that they're skinny and anyone who is obviously fat that they aren't. I agree with you that these comments are all pretty rude, however well meant, but I don't think it's because people don't understand what a healthy weight actually is.

LST Mon 22-Jun-20 19:16:16

I am a size 12 and my BMI is around the 21 mark but I am 6ft tall. I get how tall and 'thin' I am a lot. It makes me uncomfortable. I aren't thin in the slightest I just carry it well because of how tall I am.

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