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Delivery Driver. WIBU?

(80 Posts)
LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 15:49:18

I'll try to put all information in to be told whether I'm being a bit of a cow or not.

I'm due a parcel today but not until 16:30-18:30. DD6 has been begging to play out today so due to having the back garden dug out, I said she could play in the front garden with her dolls. Whilst she's playing, the door bell rings and as I'm walking through the hall, DD opens the door to tell me delivery is here. At this point, the driver has gone back to his van to retrieve the parcel so DD walks into the house out of the way. Driver puts the parcel down and says to DD 'you can't just go round letting yourself into people's houses you know' without saying a word to me and goes to walk away after scanning item. At that I said 'sorry, what do you mean? She lives here, it isn't a random house'. He went on to say he'd rang the door bell and she'd shouted to him that it was OK, that she'd shout me as I don't always hear the bell from the back of the house. At that he'd made the comment to her and gone to leave. I stopped him and said I felt it was inappropriate that he'd said that to her as this is her house and she thought she was helping by shouting me. I asked if she'd gone to close to him at any point and if that was the issue and he'd said no as hed gone back to the van to retrieve the parcel. I said OK, so you meant YOU personally have to ring the bell as oppose to just being able to open the door as she did and he said no, I was saying she shouldn't have just opened the door. I told him it wasn't his place to tell my daughter whether she could open the door, that it was her home and if he had an issue, he should have spoken to her parents instead of addressing her and walking away. He then tutted at me and walked away.

I have checked our cameras and at no time is she anywhere near him so it's not that he's annoyed she came too close. WIBU here?

I'll fully accept if I should have left him to say his piece but I don't understand what DD did wrong in this scenario?

YABU - delivery driver has every right to say what he did
YANBU - what's his bloody problem?

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LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 15:49:53

Wow, that's quite a long one, sorry blush

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ellieelephant1 Mon 22-Jun-20 15:53:54

Obviously he's wrong or confused or something but seems like a mountain out of a molehill. I don't think it would have registered for more than 30 seconds to me...
Am I missing something? Did he shout it at her?

Finfintytint Mon 22-Jun-20 15:54:50

I’m a bit confused. Are you sure he was just saying that young children shouldn’t be opening the door to a stranger?

Woodmarsh Mon 22-Jun-20 15:55:16

He didnt realise she lived there and said it. No big deal, move on

VettiyaIruken Mon 22-Jun-20 15:55:34

Could he have meant you as in general you.
Not you referring to your daughter?

He thought she was opening the door for him/telling him to go in and he was saying you can't just go into people's houses?

Bubbletrouble43 Mon 22-Jun-20 15:57:32

I think you're probably in the right op but I'm of a mind to cut a lot of slack to delivery drivers at the moment as they are probably extremely stressed and overworked.

TheTruthAboutLove Mon 22-Jun-20 15:59:23

It’s a mountain out of a molehill.

Just a misunderstanding that the driver didn’t realise your daughter didn’t live there. Not a big deal, I don’t get why it’s registered as something to be angry about.

GrannyBags Mon 22-Jun-20 15:59:54

He shouldn’t have said anything but it probably quite a tense job at the moment. I’d not have given it a second thought to be honest.

LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 16:00:04

I don't think he meant it generally, as I clarified with him did he mean he personally as a driver can't just open the door and he said no, I'm telling her she can't just open random people's doors.

I'd struggle to believe he didn't know she lived here. It's a detached house with a private front garden and a fairly long drive. I also told him this was her house as she'd said I'll fetch my Mum and he just repeated that she couldn't go round opening random doors confused

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VettiyaIruken Mon 22-Jun-20 16:02:24

Oh well in that case he was just a prat

LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 16:04:08

I think it bothered me as he said it and didn't say a word to me, just turned to leave. If I had an issue with the actions of a child, I wouldn't pass comment to them in front of their parent and then not say a word to them.

I didnt say I'm angry @TheTruthAboutLove I'm just a bit baffled as to why he felt the need to chastise her as he did. If he'd have said to her 'oh I'm not allowed to open the door' I would have smiled, taken my parcel and carried on. The way he spoke to her was uncalled for when she was trying to help. Perhaps my 'what's his bloody problem?' gave that impression, but that was more tongue in cheek, sorry.

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SoupDragon Mon 22-Jun-20 16:06:09

Still a mountain out of a molehill!

dancinguser Mon 22-Jun-20 16:06:42

A weird experience but nothing noteworthy, I couldn't get worked up about it enough to write such a long post.

heartsonacake Mon 22-Jun-20 16:10:48

I don’t understand how you’ve created an issue out of this. It’s a little odd but worth nothing more than a weird look really, if that.

If I had an issue with the actions of a child, I wouldn't pass comment to them in front of their parent and then not say a word to them.

You should. If more people did we wouldn’t have so many unruly children around today. Takes a village to raise a child and all that.

(And no, I’m not saying your kid was unruly or even doing anything wrong. My entire point is that people shouldn’t be afraid to talk to other people’s children. It shouldn’t be a problem.)

JustC Mon 22-Jun-20 16:11:00

His comment is weird in the sense that why the heck did he assume she doesn not live thee. But I would reconsider letting a 6yo open the door, camera or no camera. If some pshycho with a covered face would just grab her, what use is that camera to you.

lanthanum Mon 22-Jun-20 16:12:47

I wonder if he was just a bit taken aback finding himself in the front garden with a small child, no parent in earshot, and child happy to throw open the door and be helpful to a stranger. He was probably anxious for you to appear, but couldn't think quickly enough how to say this to the child.

HoneysuckIejasmine Mon 22-Jun-20 16:15:41

What? Why do you care so much? Just tell DD "what a strange thing to say, I think he was confused", smile and go on with your day.

LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 16:17:52

It's a gated estate with only 10 houses. A masked man would struggle to get in. I had told security this morning I'm expecting a delivery or else he wouldn't have been able to drive in anyway.

I wrote my post because I wanted to know whether I was baffled over nothing (turns out I am!) and to be fairly honest, there's not a great deal else to do at the moment other than shop, which I won't do now incase he comes backwink

@heartsonacake I wish I had the nerve. Challenging the delivery driver was out of the ordinary for me. I'm actually quite reserved and would worry that I'd cause a scene if I corrected someone else's child. I feel I should point out, if my child was in the wrong I wouldn't have an issue with someone else telling them (she'd probably take more notice!) I'm just a bit of a 'mard arse' as my DMIL calls me blush

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JustC Mon 22-Jun-20 16:20:32

If you are sure security wise, I would say just let it go as a weird reaction from him when faced with a kid opening the door.

Newschapter Mon 22-Jun-20 16:22:33

Are you sure he wasn't just saying 'you' as in "people can't just go round letting themselves in" meaning he can't just open the door and walk on in to a house.

You're making a huge deal about nothing though.

LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 16:24:39

@newschapter nope, asked him that. Yes, the mountain over a molehill is the general consensus. I'm a terrible over thinker and sat after he'd left wondering if I should have challenged it or not. I'm quite a nervous person so I was stuttering a bit, he probably thought I was raving mad in hindsight

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LoubyLoubLoub Mon 22-Jun-20 16:26:04

Also, given that she'd said she would shout me and that people aren't allowed in each others houses at the moment, nor have I ever invited a delivery driver into my home, I'd like to think he wouldn't assume she was ushering him in!

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ghostyslovesheets Mon 22-Jun-20 16:26:26

yabu sorry - you are making a massive issue out of absolutely nothing - sorry

jamandtonic Mon 22-Jun-20 16:58:29

Oh for crying out loud.

YAB totally and completely U.

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