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Neighbour watching us

(122 Posts)
akmum18 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:12:21

Is it considered harassment if a neighbour is continuously watching you in your garden?
If we are outside and my daughter is playing, she is often standing on a chair in her garden watching us. She hides when I see her. She is often at her bathroom window looking down at us too. I asked if there was a problem and she ignored me.
We have 6 foot fences plus climbing plants so it isn’t an issue with accidentally noticing we are outside, she is purposely looking over to the point we notice her. Even when we aren’t outside I know she is looking into our garden to see if we are there. It’s making me very uncomfortable as we can’t enjoy our private space.
I caught her on my cctv looking into my front window several times. Even when I put my wheelie bin out she is at the window anticipating the time I do it so I now have to ‘change it up’ each week. She has an adult child and a teenage child who live with her but they never leave the house. I’m very confused why she is doing all this and what she is gaining by looking.
She is known for being a bit odd and refuses to engage in conversation with anyone so talking isn’t going to help and I don’t want to risk being seen as the person harassing. Am I unreasonable to report it to non emergency police to keep a record of this?
YABU - don’t report
YANBU - report

OP’s posts: |
CowsGoBaaaaa Mon 22-Jun-20 14:14:41

You want to make a report to the police that your neighbour is watching you?

SpookyNoise Mon 22-Jun-20 14:14:59

We had a neighbour like this a few years back. He used to stand, hand on hips, in the window staring at us. We moved.

AbbieLexie Mon 22-Jun-20 14:17:12

I think you start keeping a diary with dates, times and a record of the 'watching'.

daisychain1620 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:17:42

How annoying. Maybe she thinks you can't see her, I'd wave if I saw her watching me and shout hello just so she knows I can see her.
Would she answer the door to you if you went round to ask her to stop?

Summerfortheages Mon 22-Jun-20 14:18:26

She might be wondering why you keep looking at her?! Then you keep looking at her then she keeps looking at you. And on the cycle goes....
Weird that she’s standing in a chair though.

Not sure the police would be interested.

jamandtonic Mon 22-Jun-20 14:20:46


You want to make a report to the police that your neighbour is watching you?

Er - yes, the neighbour is standing on a chair in order to see over the fence and watch. That is not the behaviour of someone who is altogether normal in the brain box, is it?

Bananacloud Mon 22-Jun-20 14:20:50

Has she family of her own? Perhaps she’s just weird and lonely?

CalmdownJanet Mon 22-Jun-20 14:22:48

Do you do or say anything when you see her? That would drive me mad, if I saw her staring when I was out the back I'd shout over "I can see you Helen, why are you hiding" or at the window I'd pretend to be calling the neighbours "Look everyone Helen in snooping at her window again" and waving at her, I'd look like a loon but I wouldn't make her let me feel uncomfortable, turn it back on her

Embracelife Mon 22-Jun-20 14:22:52

just smile and wave.
Why dies it bother you?

akmum18 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:23:53

Well not 999 of course, but it could turn into stalking or worse for all I know and it makes me nervous in my own home?
I waved the first few times when we moved here wondering if she was trying to get my daughters attention, but she slammed her door shut. I only look when her movement catches my eye and the majority of the time I ignore the distraction to avoid encouraging her. It’s possible she is lonely, but spying on us isn’t going to solve that and she’s always blanked me when I say hello.

OP’s posts: |
Embracelife Mon 22-Jun-20 14:24:05

Do pp think police will arrest someone for looking out their window?

5plus3 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:24:14

My neighbour does this. I think she doesn't realise I can see her through the bushes. She elderly and just loves hearing and watching the kids playing. Harmless

RedRed9 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:25:55

she is often standing on a chair in her garden watching us.
She is known for being a bit odd and refuses to engage in conversation with anyone
^ does this not make you think that perhaps a bit more is going on with her?

OP why don’t you talk to her resident adult child instead?

TrickyKid Mon 22-Jun-20 14:26:47

Is she old? She might have dementia. If not it is very strange behavior and must be difficult to relax bin your own garden.

JustC Mon 22-Jun-20 14:26:58

I would try to ignore unless it escaltes. She might have some MH issues for all you know.

Bugeyedgirl Mon 22-Jun-20 14:29:08

I would wave and blow kisses.

akmum18 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:29:10

It has crossed my mind there may be issues yes, I have seen her son once in the year I have lived here so I’m not sure how I would get his attention to talk about it without knocking. I’d prefer not to involve
Myself with possible issues and just enjoy my privacy without eyes following our every movement tbh!

OP’s posts: |
hadtojoin Mon 22-Jun-20 14:30:24

I would do the smile and wave every time, and if she is at the window do the same.

FedUpAtHomeTroels Mon 22-Jun-20 14:31:01

I wouldn't look back when she's on a chair in the garden, just say "Get down off that chair Beryl, stop being nosey" See what she does.

autopilotpeach Mon 22-Jun-20 14:31:24

you can report it but nothing will be done, ive reported much much worse situations and nothing is done, if she annoys you that much just leave, she just sounds like a nosey cow.. there is alot of them and idol gossip goes on aswell.. people who are bored and have nothing better to do.. failing all that you could start staring at her back.. she who can stare the longest lol

akmum18 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:31:58

No she is no older than 50 at the most, I don’t think it would bother me if she were elderly as like pp said they enjoy watching children play, but I have no idea of this woman’s intentions

OP’s posts: |
DDiva Mon 22-Jun-20 14:32:12

I can see why its un-nerving but its most likely harmless....

Lynda07 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:33:05

I wouldn't like it, akmum but wouldn't report someone like her to the police. I know that some people enjoy watching others, especially happy families with children, and spend lots of time looking out of their windows for that reason. It's very odd but there are odd souls around. She isn't actually harming you. Please try and regard her as a fixture and ignore her. It sounds as though you don't have anything to be scared of; she is harmless.

Just don't run out into your garden in the nude :-).

When winter comes you'll be out there far less than now.

akmum18 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:33:17

Lol some great ideas I’m howling at ‘get off the chair beryl’ thanks for the laugh

OP’s posts: |

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