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AIBU?

AIBU to want a new sofa?

15 replies

supersop60 · 21/06/2020 17:54

I am well aware this is a first world problem.
Our current sofa is dark brown leather. It was second hand when DP bought it about 5 years ago, and a) it's too dark, b) it has uncomfortable lumps and bumps and DP won't sit on it, c) I had no say in choosing it.
I'm due some inheritance money, and I want to buy a new suite, but DP just rolls his eyes and moans about 'frittering'. Then he says he'll start looking on Ebay for another 2nd hand one.
This is the third 2nd hand sofa we've had, and I want a new one AIBU?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

49 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
Thehop · 21/06/2020 17:56

I’m 40, and we got our first brand new sofa just before Christmas it’s lovely. I’ve only ever had second hand before that so I feel I’ve earned it and it’s lovely choosing exactly what you want and not “that’ll put me on for a bit longer”

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ChubbyPigeon · 21/06/2020 17:58

Its your money, get your sofa

Given the fact your secondhand sofa is only 5 years old and needs replacing and a new sofa can last 20 yrs + its hardly frittering away money

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supersop60 · 21/06/2020 18:05

I don't know how old our current sofa was before we got it!

OP posts:
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supersop60 · 21/06/2020 18:06

I'm 60 years old and have never owned a brand new sofa.

OP posts:
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pickingdaisies · 21/06/2020 18:08

Well he chose last time, you choose this time. And it's your money.

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PrincessPain · 21/06/2020 18:28

Each to their own.
But I have been disappointed with every new sofa I've had.
I didn't spend big bucks, but the more I've paid the more disappointed I've been.
Second hand is my preference these days as I can get much better quality for a fraction of the price.
I've just bought a real leather and solidly built sofa for £30. Chuffed.

But, marriage is compromise, and really the only people who need to discuss it is you 2, otherwise resentment will happen.

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SunshineLollipopsRainbow · 23/06/2020 10:21

Surely if it's so rubbish that he wont even sit on it he cant have a strong argument that it's been a good purchase

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makingmammaries · 23/06/2020 14:40

I have the feeling you’re going to be massively disappointed, OP, if you throw good money at a sofa.

I’m currently lounging on one of a set of two leather sofas bought at 5% of their new value, barely used when I got them from a young couple who could not come to terms with the disappointment factor (the zips that are meant to hold the back cushions don’t stay fastened, though the cushions stay in place just fine).

I love my 200€ sofas and would hate them if I’d paid 5000€.

Up to you.

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Bluntness100 · 23/06/2020 14:45

Op buy your sofas but go and sit on the one you wish to buy first...

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redastherose · 23/06/2020 14:46

Its your money and you should have an equal vote in choosing what you are going to sit on in (presumably) your own home. Are we to assume that he gets to sit on a more comfortable chair and you get the uncomfortable second hand sofa from the 'he won't sit on it' comment? If that is the case he has absolutely no say in it whatsoever and you should buy what you want. You should also tell him that if he refuses then you are having the comfortable chair and he can spend the next 5 years on the lumpy sofa to make it fair!

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onlinelinda · 23/06/2020 15:53

It's YOUR MONEY. Stop asking his permission.

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NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 23/06/2020 16:00

If it's your inheritance you can buy what you want with it although, I think he should have some say if he has to sit on it too. That doesn't mean he gets to totally veto the purchase though.

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zingally · 23/06/2020 16:05

Just go to the shop and order a new one! Arrange for the old one to be disposed of, and jobs a good un'!

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Reedwarbler · 23/06/2020 16:20

Sit on a lot before you choose, and for more than a few minutes, speaking as someone who has bought one or two uncomfortable ones in their lifetime. It's your money, spend it on what you want.
I have just ordered a new one. I spent a happy rainy afternoon lounging about in the showroom. I have now got to wait 6 weeks for it to be made (this is a local company) and I can't wait as my current sofa has buggered my back.

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Wynston · 23/06/2020 16:51

Please buy the sofa.......its something you use every single day!!
My mum was in her 60's before she had a brand new sofa and she loves hers (is hidden under throws to protect it from dogs and grandchildren!!).
My sofa was second hand and the dog has managed to dig a hole in it! We currently have our house on the market and im dreaming there may be a bit in the pot to get my new sofa that I have been dreaming of. (Already picked the one I want!)

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