To ask for your weirdest / most vivid dream. (Gross trigger warning for mine!!)

[IchWill]

Had a mad dream last night, got me sharing my oddest dream on Facebook tonight to friends. So I want to hear yours. Anything spooky / prophetic welcome too.

I have really detailed and bizarre dreams, my DP is often gobsmacked by the odd shit I wake up remembering.

The weirdest dream I ever had... I was working in some seedy two-bob knocking shop. Like you'd see on The Bill, or something. A self contained flat with paint peeling from the walls.

Anyway, my next client came in, and I casually said to him (without turning around) "Wash your knob in the sink, there's a love." (I remember, I got this line from a old Lily Savage stand-up quote).

In a nasal twang he replied to me, "Don't you know who I am?"

I span round to see "Boycey" from Only Fools and Horses. "MARLEEEENE!"

I made him wash his knob in the sink still.

He wanted a blow job. After he washed it I knelt down to prepare to get ready for action.

Thank FUCK that I woke up at this point. 🤢🤮😂

Yes, I know. I'm obviously very weird.

[Justajot]

I once dreamt that I was made of brie and I was standing legs apart, arms out while someone was painting the white coating on me with a roller.

[Justajot]

But now at least 50% of my dreams are situations where I am desperate for a wee and trying to find a toilet. I assume that's fairly standard if you need a wee in the middle of the night.

[GreenGordon]

Once dreamt my job was to operate Richard osmans arms. No, me neither.

[IchWill]

@Justajot Had you been eating cheese and watching The Mighty Boosh before bed? 😂😂

Also dreams about needing a wee suggest being under extra pressure in your real life.

@GreenGordon I'm crying. 😂 Are we related? Did you operate his arms effectively?

[Thelnebriati]

I often dream I'm in the zombie apocalypse. In once scenario I'm walking through a housing estate of new builds and they suddenly appear at the windows, then I'm chased by a horde up to the top floor of a house. Which turns into a school gym that smells of varnish and cabbage.

[borntohula]

@Justajot I have those too, one of the most memorable was the dream I had that I missed a whole gig trying to find a toilet.

I've had lots of bizarre dreams and I generally only vaguely remember them. I've been struggling with nausea recently and had a dream that I was throwing up into a plastic bag and there was so much, it was overflowing. That was gross, I still felt sick after I woke up.

[IchWill]

@Thelnebriati That's exactly the kind of detail I want. Cabbage AND varnish. That's some combo.

[Lemonmaid]

Many vivid dreams about my good looking vet, funnily enough he called me completely out of the blue the day after one particular dream

[HansBanans]

My weirdest dream was after watching The a Good Place. I dreamt I was in the office and a sink hole opened up. My boss was refusing to leave as she had too much to do while the ground was falling away 😂

[IchWill]

Anything fruity? Or, all above board?

I dreamt I got down and dirty with Jake Shillingford, from 90s indie darlings My Life Story. He had a massive cock and was an amazing shag. I woke hot under the collar, feeling guilty for "cheating" while sleeping next to DP.

[GreenGordon]

No, @IchWill, I didn’t. I think I was sacked.

[IchWill]

@HansBanans is your boss a workaholic?

[Thelnebriati]

But wait - there's more.
There's one where I have to get home to pick up the DC's from school but have no idea what city I'm in. After loads of angst ridden situations including trying to hitch hike and getting stuck in a traffic jam, I steal a milk float to drive myself home.
Except its full of packets of meat wrapped in butchers paper, and I have to do the meat round first.

[IchWill]

@GreenGordon Oh. 😐

[HansBanans]

@IchWill 100%

[GreenGordon]

Sensing a bit of a theme, if I’m honest @IchWill 😀

[IchWill]

@Thelnebriati Brilliant. A milk float when you're in a rush!

[IchWill]

@Butterer that would be a nightmare for me. I'm shit with Excel.

[Kayemm]

Sir Roger Moore raping a fox!

Not much else I can remember from that dream but I remember that!

[IchWill]

@Kayemm that sound horrific!

[IchWill]

@Kayemm where would you begin analysing that?!

[Thelnebriati]

I think we have a winner

[YourVagesty]

I had a long running series (episode instalments over yeaaaaaaars ) that David Cameron was my boyfriend. He used to take me to Chequers for the weekend and feed me wine and cheese, fireside. He was actually really lovely.