Talk

Advanced search

To ask for your weirdest / most vivid dream. (Gross trigger warning for mine!!)

(129 Posts)
IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:09:19

Had a mad dream last night, got me sharing my oddest dream on Facebook tonight to friends. So I want to hear yours. Anything spooky / prophetic welcome too.

I have really detailed and bizarre dreams, my DP is often gobsmacked by the odd shit I wake up remembering.

The weirdest dream I ever had... I was working in some seedy two-bob knocking shop. Like you'd see on The Bill, or something. A self contained flat with paint peeling from the walls.

Anyway, my next client came in, and I casually said to him (without turning around) "Wash your knob in the sink, there's a love." (I remember, I got this line from a old Lily Savage stand-up quote).

In a nasal twang he replied to me, "Don't you know who I am?"

I span round to see "Boycey" from Only Fools and Horses. "MARLEEEENE!"

I made him wash his knob in the sink still.

He wanted a blow job. After he washed it I knelt down to prepare to get ready for action.

Thank FUCK that I woke up at this point. 🤢🤮😂

Yes, I know. I'm obviously very weird.

OP’s posts: |
Justajot Sun 21-Jun-20 00:12:48

I once dreamt that I was made of brie and I was standing legs apart, arms out while someone was painting the white coating on me with a roller.

Justajot Sun 21-Jun-20 00:14:41

But now at least 50% of my dreams are situations where I am desperate for a wee and trying to find a toilet. I assume that's fairly standard if you need a wee in the middle of the night.

GreenGordon Sun 21-Jun-20 00:14:56

Once dreamt my job was to operate Richard osmans arms. No, me neither.

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:17:51

@Justajot Had you been eating cheese and watching The Mighty Boosh before bed? 😂😂

Also dreams about needing a wee suggest being under extra pressure in your real life.

@GreenGordon I'm crying. 😂 Are we related? Did you operate his arms effectively?

OP’s posts: |
Thelnebriati Sun 21-Jun-20 00:18:05

I often dream I'm in the zombie apocalypse. In once scenario I'm walking through a housing estate of new builds and they suddenly appear at the windows, then I'm chased by a horde up to the top floor of a house. Which turns into a school gym that smells of varnish and cabbage.

borntohula Sun 21-Jun-20 00:19:12

@Justajot I have those too, one of the most memorable was the dream I had that I missed a whole gig trying to find a toilet.

I've had lots of bizarre dreams and I generally only vaguely remember them. I've been struggling with nausea recently and had a dream that I was throwing up into a plastic bag and there was so much, it was overflowing. That was gross, I still felt sick after I woke up.

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:19:25

@Thelnebriati That's exactly the kind of detail I want. Cabbage AND varnish. That's some combo.

OP’s posts: |
Lemonmaid Sun 21-Jun-20 00:20:46

Many vivid dreams about my good looking vet, funnily enough he called me completely out of the blue the day after one particular dream winkgrin

HansBanans Sun 21-Jun-20 00:21:33

My weirdest dream was after watching The a Good Place. I dreamt I was in the office and a sink hole opened up. My boss was refusing to leave as she had too much to do while the ground was falling away 😂

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:23:08

Anything fruity? Or, all above board?

I dreamt I got down and dirty with Jake Shillingford, from 90s indie darlings My Life Story. He had a massive cock and was an amazing shag. I woke hot under the collar, feeling guilty for "cheating" while sleeping next to DP.

OP’s posts: |
GreenGordon Sun 21-Jun-20 00:23:36

No, @IchWill, I didn’t. I think I was sacked.

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:23:50

@HansBanans is your boss a workaholic?

OP’s posts: |
Thelnebriati Sun 21-Jun-20 00:24:09

But wait - there's more.
There's one where I have to get home to pick up the DC's from school but have no idea what city I'm in. After loads of angst ridden situations including trying to hitch hike and getting stuck in a traffic jam, I steal a milk float to drive myself home.
Except its full of packets of meat wrapped in butchers paper, and I have to do the meat round first.

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:24:22

@GreenGordon Oh. 😐

OP’s posts: |
HansBanans Sun 21-Jun-20 00:25:21

@IchWill 100%

GreenGordon Sun 21-Jun-20 00:25:37

Sensing a bit of a theme, if I’m honest @IchWill 😀

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:25:49

@Thelnebriati Brilliant. A milk float when you're in a rush!

OP’s posts: |
Butterer Sun 21-Jun-20 00:26:19

Fever dream where I was a red flashing cell in a spreadsheet, surrounded by green cells.

I have no idea wtf that was about.

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:27:23

@Butterer that would be a nightmare for me. I'm shit with Excel.

OP’s posts: |
Kayemm Sun 21-Jun-20 00:27:47

Sir Roger Moore raping a fox!

Not much else I can remember from that dream but I remember that!

IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:29:46

@Kayemm that sound horrific!

OP’s posts: |
IchWill Sun 21-Jun-20 00:30:24

@Kayemm where would you begin analysing that?!

OP’s posts: |
Butterer Sun 21-Jun-20 00:31:37

@Kayemm - was he raising one eyebrow at the same time? Poor fox sad everyone knows they should be neither shaken nor stirred.

Thelnebriati Sun 21-Jun-20 00:33:29

I think we have a winner grin

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in