Talk

Advanced search

AIBU to think this is passive-agressive

(10 Posts)
youkiddingme Sat 20-Jun-20 22:34:37

DH was watching TV. I went in the room to join him and put the light on as I was going to knit. When I'd finished my knitting, and without thinking, as I left the room I turned off the light. Totally on autopilot, didn't realise I'd done it. Bit later, I'm working in the kitchen when DH comes in and turns the light off. I pipe up, 'oy, working here', to which he says, 'that's what you did to me earlier'.
When I asked him why he didn't just ask me to put the light back on, he said, 'I didn't need it to watch tv' - err so why turn it off on me. 'it was just a joke'
It's always 'just a joke' when he does things like this, but it feels mildly agressive the way he does it and the way he speaks.
Am I being over-sensitive or is he being a bit of an arse?

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Sat 20-Jun-20 22:37:16

Being an arse. Sounds like hard work. It’s only a joke if everyone’s laughing.

LouiseTrees Sat 20-Jun-20 22:40:10

Bit of an arse , but if that’s all it is then you’ve got it better than a huge number of people posting on here so would be inclined to just ignore.

Pipandmum Sat 20-Jun-20 22:43:47

My kids do this all the time - I've drilled it into them about turning the lights off that they sometimes do it in auto. But for me to then go and turn off their light after? How childish and petty.

PlanDeRaccordement Sat 20-Jun-20 22:59:31

Hard to say. But if you went in as it was getting to be night and turned on the light, it would be rude an hour or two later to shut it off and leave partner in darkness. Him later coming and doing it to you was a taste of your own medicine?

SionnachGlic Sat 20-Jun-20 23:02:40

He is just being a bit of an arse...let it go!

SprinklesMcDoodles Sat 20-Jun-20 23:14:35

He was sitting in a darkened room watching tv when you came in and turned a light on without asking if he minded. Then you went out and turned the light out once you had finished your activity? I’d probably be annoyed too.

FelicityBeedle Sat 20-Jun-20 23:57:57

Just a daft joke I think we all do to our partners, no need to overreact

youkiddingme Sun 21-Jun-20 14:05:07

Thanks for your replies. Helps me get perspective. Think he was being a bit of an arse, but nothing major - and I've already let it go, was just trying to gauge my own reaction - lock-down makes us all a bit arsey on occasion. We're high risk so been on high lock-down since March and not changed much yet.
Btw If he had been sitting in a darkened room and I turned it on without asking that would have been rude, it wasn't dark but I'm sight-impaired so need extra light to work by. It may have been getting a little dark when I left, but as all light looks dim to me I hadn't noticed and certainly didn't turn it off on purpose, just by over-sight. Just to clarify for SMcD.
But as I say, nothing major, just monitoring my own reactions really.

OP’s posts: |
JaniceWebster Sun 21-Jun-20 14:23:54

Impossible to say without knowing the 2 of you and how you generally get on.

It could be just a joke as it is a very mild teasing, or passive aggressive if you don't get on that well.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in