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Is my ex MIL being a goady c##t?

(33 Posts)
P999 Sat 20-Jun-20 21:44:57

Or AIBU? My ex and I split acrimoniously 2 years ago and I always struggled with my interfering MIL during our relationship. The ex and I co-parent fine now. When we split, i got a lot of my feelings for my MIL off my chest to her and we are NC now. My DD spends 3 school nights at my ex's. The rest of the time with me. It's my 11 year old's birthday this week and she spent the day with her dad and his family. My exMIL, as part of her birthday present to her, gave her some personalised notelets with my DD's name and my ex's address on them. I've taken this as passive aggressive gesture. As though her main home is at my ex's. I know i should brush it off, but I feel she's trying to have a dig. Am I being over-sensitive or is she being a goady c**t?

OP’s posts: |
Kahiki Sat 20-Jun-20 21:46:09

Yeah I think you’re overreacting a bit.

billybagpuss Sat 20-Jun-20 21:49:42

It’s a rubbish dig if that’s what it’s intended for, notepads just end up at the bottom of cupboards a few pages will be scribbled on and that is it. Laugh it off and ignore.

istheresomethingishouldknow Sat 20-Jun-20 21:55:17

I'd just roll my eyes and laugh at the obvious wind up attempt.

stophuggingme Sat 20-Jun-20 21:55:26

It is a bit pointed but it’s also a pointed reminder of how tragic she is to do that when her grandchild actually has two homes

Rise above the stench!
She wants you to kick off
Don’t!

ilovesooty Sat 20-Jun-20 21:56:21

Overreaction I think.

MorganKitten Sat 20-Jun-20 21:56:31

It’s hardly a dig, she has stuff to send to relatives on his side. Not a big deal.

CalmdownJanet Sat 20-Jun-20 21:58:05

Yup over sensitive

pilates Sat 20-Jun-20 22:00:11

Just smile and think how lucky you are she’s an ex mother-in-law

PolPotNoodle Sat 20-Jun-20 22:04:29

Your daughter has two homes and thus two addresses. If you feel that passionately about it, get her some with your address too. I don't see how she's being a cunt.

WaterOffADucksCrack Sat 20-Jun-20 22:10:28

If you've taken such offence to this how have you got through life?! If it had your address on it you'd probably take offence to that too! It's your childs birthday present, it isn't about you at all. YABU.

rosiejaune Sat 20-Jun-20 22:10:41

Presumably if your relative had bought it, it would have had your address on? So it's only goady if you think she deliberately found that present in the first place just so she could do that. Which seems unlikely.

Itwasntme1 Sat 20-Jun-20 22:16:18

3 school nights is nearly 50%.

I don’t really follow what’s wrong with her dads address being used. You daughter has two homes, his family sees her at her home with her dad🤷🏼‍♀️

Honeyroar Sat 20-Jun-20 22:19:05

It is his home though, as well as yours.. It’s really not important and not worth getting riled about.

P999 Sat 20-Jun-20 22:22:37

And yep, definately not going to kick off. She probably wants my to kick off with the ex over it. That was her usual way of baiting. All her ex DILs (there are 3 of us. 2 of them are his brother's ex's) as well as her step daughter) think shes a manipulative bitch (oh, the stories i could tell) so i know am not alone in thinking she's a c**t. And why am always suspicious of her motives.

OP’s posts: |
frazzledasarock Sat 20-Jun-20 22:24:14

What 11 year old writes and posts letters?

It’s a rubbish dig if it is one.

Ignore completely, you know she’s not a nice woman, don’t expect any niceness from her. Then you won’t be upset.

Itwasntme1 Sat 20-Jun-20 22:31:57

OP I do think you are being unnecessarily aggressive about this.

I am sure there is a huge back story, but I. Solution his is really nothing to be upset about. I am can’t imagine ever even thinking about this.

Nottherealslimshady Sat 20-Jun-20 22:34:35

Yabu it would be weird if she put your address on I think

P999 Sat 20-Jun-20 22:36:41

Yep. I've been happily NC with her, and hardly given her a passing thought. She's a racist old bitch too. But that's another story. Dread to think what crap she says with my kids in earshot. She used to complain there were too few white kids at my DDs nursery when she was 3. In front of my DD. I could have happily slapped her at the time. Wish i had

OP’s posts: |
WaterOffADucksCrack Sat 20-Jun-20 22:56:06

hardly given her a passing thought. It doesnt look that way from this thread 😂

I could have happily slapped her at the time. Wish i had I hate racism and as a black woman have been on the receiving end of it many times. But violence doesn't make it right at all.

yomellamoHelly Sat 20-Jun-20 22:58:50

But when are they ever going to be used? Bit of a rubbish present imo, so not worth getting worked up over

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 20-Jun-20 23:06:20

You’re very angry. It’s only hurting you.

P999 Sat 20-Jun-20 23:13:55

I only get riled when she does goady stuff. Probably a lot more than am aware of. About a year ago, she told my kids'I know mummy doesn't care how dirty you are, but you really should wash your hair every day'. I only heard about it cos my (then) 10 year old recognised it for the attempted dig that it was. Yeah, i shouldn't let the sad old bitch rile me. But its good to get it off my chest. She's just pathetic.

OP’s posts: |
domesticslattern Sat 20-Jun-20 23:16:29

Your 11 year old will never use them so... meh.
My kids wouldn't even know what corner to put a stamp on an envelope frankly.

Itwasntme1 Sat 20-Jun-20 23:17:45

You need to pick your battles.

The notepaper is nothing, less than nothing. I am still struggling to understand how it could be annoying.

Yes there are other things she’s done which are infuriating. But you seeing insults in even the most benign gestures.

You need to get passed this rage, it is disproportionate and comes across as all consuming. Have you thought about counselling, help you let go?

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