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Parenting in lockdown helpline

(6 Posts)
CoRhona Sat 20-Jun-20 21:41:11

Seen on FB. AIBU to say most people will identify with one or more?!
I have the symptoms of the Amazon shopper blush

"Hello. Thank-you for calling the 'Parenting in lockdown Helpline UK'

Unfortunately, your phone-call is in a long queue. We receive a high volume of emergency calls, particularly during Home Schooling hours and meal-times, so please be patient and someone will be with you as soon as possible.

Please choose from one of the following options...

Press 1. If you have just told a child they have ‘UNTIL THE COUNT OF THREE’ but have no idea what to say next.

Press 2. If you wish to talk to a grown-up and have an actual conversation.

Press 3. If you have banned all screens and don't know what the fuck to do now?

Press 4. To hear a soothing voice count to ten and tell you it's all going to be OK.

Press 5. If your child has just given up their daytime nap and you require counselling.

Press 6. If you are trying to teach a child fractions and need urgent assistance.

Press 7. If you need an emergency delivery of wine.

Press 8. If you are trapped under a pile of laundry.

Press 9. If you have sustained an injury whilst doing PE with Joe. Please hang up and dial 999.

Press 10. If your child requires an urgent 'Fortnite' rehab referral.

If you are developing symptoms of Compulsive Amazon Ordering Syndrome - please hold to speak to one of our trained specialists.

Press 0 to hear these options again."


OP’s posts: |
sleepismysuperpower1 Sat 20-Jun-20 21:50:55

That made me laugh OP grin - especially 9

user1490814754 Sun 21-Jun-20 08:26:18

Definitely 5!!!

Dontknowwhyidoit Sun 21-Jun-20 08:31:41

I could press seven different numbers on that list, but the fortnight rehab hit a nerve as its becoming a night mare trying to get one of my sons to not be thinking, talking, playing or even watching it on YouTube. I keep threatening to bin all game consoles he is obsessed.

CoRhona Sun 21-Jun-20 09:47:34

We had our number 7 emergency delivery of wine yesterday too grin

OP’s posts: |
user1490814754 Fri 26-Jun-20 21:30:03

I need number 7 now.

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