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Aibu to think this may have ruined a friendship?

(400 Posts)
Barobee Sat 20-Jun-20 17:00:08

TL;DR friend’s boyfriend won’t get his car out of my garage and it’s pissing me off.

Longer version: two years ago a good friend asked if her boyfriend could store his car in my garage. It was supposed to be for three months max as he had just exchanged on a house so would be able to store it in his new house’s garage once it had completed.

I said yes as she’s a good friend and I don’t mind being helpful.

Two years on and the fucking car’s still there. I texted at the beginning of June to ask if it could be moved by mid June because I wanted to paint the garage and turn it into a room where DC could hang out a bit. Friend said she would tell him he needed to move his car. Two weeks later, at friend’s suggestion as he had shown no interest in collecting the car, I texted again to ask when he was coming. No joy.

I’ve just texted again today and said if it’s easier can she just give me his number so I can deal with him directly. Now the reply is that she’ll give me his number later because she’s got another child visiting.

At first I was annoyed at him, partly because I sometimes think he treats friend quite badly, but now I’m beginning to think that they are both taking the piss (him more than her) and this is going to impact badly on our friendship. AIBU and what can I do?

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Sat 20-Jun-20 17:02:19

It would have been quicker for her to give you his number than for her to reply saying she’d do it later, as such something is up and he’s not for moving it.

You’ve a problem on your hands...

Carandi Sat 20-Jun-20 17:08:53

Text your friend And say if you haven't got his number by tonight then you'll assume the car to be abandoned and not wanted any more and will have it towed to the local scrap yard.

Barobee Sat 20-Jun-20 17:11:53

I would like to keep the friendship if at all possible and so I’m reluctant to up the ante.

OP’s posts: |
Perch Sat 20-Jun-20 17:12:58

Two years!!!!!!!
I would let her know that the car will be removed as abandoned by end of june if not collected
Or sell in lieu of storage.
He is taking the p and she is not your friend!!

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sat 20-Jun-20 17:13:12

I realise it's too late now, but my experience of lending storage room to people is that is never the time span they give you. I have memories of trying to climb over a very large carpet in our garage, that was there many months after it should have been gone. Unfortunately that and a few other experiences mean I am less likely to offer such resources in the future. Sorry they've taken the weewee flowers

CodenameVillanelle Sat 20-Jun-20 17:13:46

Don't beat around the bush and just tell her. You want it gone and he needs to collect it this weekend. Tell her you know it's not her fault but it's been there far too long and she needs to sort it.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring Sat 20-Jun-20 17:14:45

So what is your answer OP, if you dont want to "up the ante"? What are you expecting people to say - "just leave it, that'll teach him a lesson"? hmm

CalmdownJanet Sat 20-Jun-20 17:16:22

Maybe text her back and say "If you could send it on asap, I'd like to keep you out of it as it is him taking the piss not you but I need it gone by Monday, my neighbour has offered to tow it and I have taken him up on the offer for Tuesday if it's not gone, whatever happens after that is not my problem"

He might move it then if he thinks it will get damaged

Pebblexox Sat 20-Jun-20 17:17:59

Honestly I'd just move the car out of your garage, and tell her it needs to be moved ASAP.
I get you don't want to ruin your friendship, but she's obviously not being a very good friend right now.

ShadowMane Sat 20-Jun-20 17:20:58

Fucking hell 2 years? When he calls, tell him he needs to pay for storage.

Tell her, he has a week to move it starting now, or its being removed. Can you take it out of the garage? and leave it out there

3luckystars Sat 20-Jun-20 17:21:21

Just say that you are moving house and if she doesnt give you his phone number, you will have to sell the car.

Put a for sale ad up on a buy and sell site and text it to her.

It could be stolen, or anything. Get rid of it.

Colom Sat 20-Jun-20 17:22:01

Why hasn't he collected it though? Doesn't he need the car? Is it an old piece of crap/a vintage car that's just a toy?

Did he move into the new house in the end? Bizarre he'd leave a valuable (?) item idle for two years.

EmperorCovidula Sat 20-Jun-20 17:22:11

Just make up an excuse then. Tell her you mother needs to put her car in your garage on Monday or something and if he can’t pick it up, you can have it towed and he can transfer the money for towing to you/text you the address he wants it towed to.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit Sat 20-Jun-20 17:24:43

I think you are pussyfooting around and being passive in your interactions.

You need to be more assertive, direct and clear in your removal expectations

Not "when is he going to?"

But "I'm sorry but if it is not picked up by X date we will Y"

Flipflopsaga Sat 20-Jun-20 17:24:53

Barobee, the fact that you would like to keep the friendship is why you are being treated like a doormat. I would rather have less friends than a ‘friend’ who treats me like this. I’d explain that I would have to report it as you have repeatedly asked for the car to be removed and now it is on your property against your will (the car is squatting!). Insist that she gets it sorted in the next 48 hours or explain that you will have to give the police (through non emergency contact obviously) her number and address. I hate to hear of situations like this. What a horrid pair of C.F’s. If you back down you will be left with no self respect and someone else’s car in your garage. You have options, it’s your choice!

Namechangex10000 Sat 20-Jun-20 17:25:44

I’d have the handbrake off and push it out before I got the damn number! Who keeps a fucking car for two years that they’re not using and have no need for anyway! Madness.

Barobee Sat 20-Jun-20 17:27:20

It’s an old car, not expensive, something he wanted to fix up. He moved into his new house two months after the car arrived in my garage.

Sadly I can’t say I’m moving house, but I have already said that I’ve got someone coming to replaster and paint the garage and I need to know today what’s happening because I may need to postpone the handyman. And that’s when I got the other kid visiting, text number later response.

OP’s posts: |
SerendipityJane Sat 20-Jun-20 17:29:11

The "friendship" as is disappeared a long time ago.

Quite aside from the fact you've been effectively hiding a car of questionable provenance for two years (I have a sneaking feeling it's not SORNed for a start).

Personally, I'd push the fucker out of your garage, then text your "friend" and say "Oh, no, I just back from <insert excuse>, and I found my garage open and that car gone !". Might have a concentrating effect. When they turn up, give them the keys and whatever explanation you like.

But I gave up taking shit like this from "friends" years ago.

Barobee Sat 20-Jun-20 17:30:16

Also I do know I’m feeble and shit at confrontations, but this friend and I have been through a lot and we’ve supported each other and she is genuinely a good person. I do think she’s in a crap situation and I worry for her and don’t want to make her life more difficult, but.... I also want my garage back!

OP’s posts: |
Lweji Sat 20-Jun-20 17:30:57

Just remove the car from the garage.
Even without the keys it shouldn't be too hard.

Euclid Sat 20-Jun-20 17:31:26

Have you got the keys of the car?

Barobee Sat 20-Jun-20 17:32:07

I don’t have the keys and the doors are locked (just tried them) so taking off the handbrake and pushing it out is not an option. sad

OP’s posts: |
diddl Sat 20-Jun-20 17:32:37

You're willing to postpone the chap who's coming to do work for you?


Why hasn't your friend offered to fetch the car or bring you the keys?

Maybe she doesn't care any more than her boyfriend does?

EineReiseDurchDieZeit Sat 20-Jun-20 17:32:37

Would you be willing to push the car into the street and report to the council as an abandoned vehicle?

Warn them thats what you will do if they haven't picked up by 1st July or something

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