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AIBU to think BLW isn't ideal for chokey/spluttery DS? Confused!

(31 Posts)
Peterbishopssarcasticsmile Sat 20-Jun-20 14:53:25

Health visitor very very keen on baby led weaning, as was I originally, but DS is a real cough/choke/splutterer due to reflux, which is making me very very nervous about giving him finger food. He has a habit of trying to ram his fists so far down his throat he sometimes coughs, so I dread to think what he would be like with a carrot stick (even if it was really meltingly soft).

I was going to start out with purees for a short while and gradually thicken them up, then introduce finger food but health visitor really shut me down and wouldn't discuss this, just kept saying 'there's no need' and not really reassuring me about my concerns or explaining why.
I wasn't going to go for the pouches, although my mum bought us a load bless her but they last so will use those as emergencies or if we need to travel with them. I was going to puree up veg myself to start with, but now I'm feeling unsure as to what route to go down.
AIBU to think purees are still okay to go ahead with? The HV acted like I would pretty much be poisoning him!

OP’s posts: |
EasyPeasyHappyCheesy Sat 20-Jun-20 14:55:46

Even as someone who did blw and never gave my dc a puree I am aware that purees are fine. Go with your instinct (but then I really mistrust hv especially the one I had)

Smallsteps88 Sat 20-Jun-20 14:58:13

Health visitor is there for guidance- to provide information- not to tell you what you have to do. You get to decide for your own baby. I suggest not discussing it with HV again as you’ve already made your decision so there’s nothing to discuss.

mogtheexcellent Sat 20-Jun-20 14:59:03

I never did blw. Puree of what we were eating most if the time. Dd is 6 and an excellent eater.

SandieCheeks Sat 20-Jun-20 15:00:03

Purees are fine! The vast majority of people both now and in times past have given their babies purees and finger foods.

If your baby is around 6 months you can just mash food with a fork and give him some soft finger foods too.
Jars and pouches are also fine!

Coughing and spluttering is normal, babies have sensitive gag reflexes and they need time to learn how to eat solids.

Jxtina86 Sat 20-Jun-20 15:00:17

Honestly go with your instincts. Your plan is exactly what I did back in Jan and it was fine. I was going to do pure blw but DD wasn't having it but loved puree and spoon feeding. After a few weeks I gave her bits of finger food and just started building up from there. From my very limited experience there is no right or wrong way - they all end up eating proper food in the end!

my2bundles Sat 20-Jun-20 15:01:23

Do what is right for your own baby, there's no right or wrong. I used a mix of purees and finger foods with mine and they loved the purees. By a year old their was no difference between my babies and those who had solely BTW no matter how much those who solely BTW preach that it is better 😉 it's really not.

LaurieMarlow Sat 20-Jun-20 15:01:47

Your HV sounds like a total idiot.

There’s no need to ‘do’ any method. Just given him the food you’d eat in a format that works for him. It really is that simple.

Amrythings Sat 20-Jun-20 15:05:15

If it's any help, having something with a taste can help with the alarming habit of shoving their whole fist in their mouth, it definitely did with DS. He was so busy trying to figure out what the hell was happening to his tongue that he ended up just sitting with his gun open and the food on top for a good minute!

Of course, now the battle is keeping him from having experimental chomps on anything that could conceivably be food. Unpacking the vegetable delivery has become an adventure.

fedupandlookingforchange Sat 20-Jun-20 15:06:51

I gave mine both purees (usually from a jar or pouch) and finger food worked well.

Rinoachicken Sat 20-Jun-20 15:07:39

I did a bit of both - purées are FINE. I think I started with big things he physically couldn’t cram straight down his throat (like sugar free rusks, which he sucked and gummed to death). I used puréed foods often as pudding so puréed fruit, yoghurts, mashed fruit etc. Toast I would give him in large squares so again he wouldn’t straight away shove it down but learned how to work at hit with his mouth. Think that was mainly what he had sit start with. When cooking for us I would portion out some for him and mush it up to feed him, but also gave him ‘elements’ of it to eat himself - big chucks of broccoli, peas, (great for finger thumb), pasta. It’s been a while for me (youngest is six) but honestly I don’t remember this but even lasting that long - in my head I think he was only really eating like that for about 6 months before we started giving him a spoon and encouraging him to copy us eating with cutlery.

slartibarti Sat 20-Jun-20 15:10:24

Just do what you want, HV won't know.
I remember the first thing I gave DS was a whole banana, peeled It kept him amused for over an hour squidging it in his fists and cramming into his mouth. He really enjoyed himself despite lots of gagging and coughing.

ArialAnna Sat 20-Jun-20 15:11:04

Purees are fine. In my view it's silly to be fixated on one method of feeding, as babies are all individuals with different abilities, anatomys and preferences. My DS1 choked easily and liked purees so we mainly gave him purees and gradually increased the lumpiness over time. Whereas DS2 was refused to be fed with a spoon so was totally BLW! Luckily he seemed to cough and choke far less often than DS1 did. Just do what makes the most sense for your child and ignore the HV

Rinoachicken Sat 20-Jun-20 15:11:52

Also, I found pouches ‘pre-prepared’ stuff was handy for introducing tastes of things I would never prepare myself really. I will never forget buying a whole butternut squash, taking FOREVER to figure out how to cook the damn thing, just so I could mush up maybe 2% of the whole thing for DS1 to try! With DS two I just kept my eye out for interesting flavours in the baby food aisle when I went shopping!

PippinStar Sat 20-Jun-20 15:45:25

I think either way is fine, whatever you feel more comfortable with. I did purées from 4 months for DS with his reflux (made a huge difference) then moved only to finger foods at 6 months.

Some people do say that finger foods / BLW is better for reflux as purées can still come up (I'd probably agree with this) but it really depends on what works for you and your baby.

Laaalaaaa Sat 20-Jun-20 15:48:18

I was never going to go down the route of pouch purées but a week of so into weaning when baby was not eating at all switched to pouches. A week or so made all the difference and baby will now try anything and everything.

Snaketime Sat 20-Jun-20 16:08:52

Both of mine used to put their fists down their throat and make themselves cough. I didnt do BLW with my first as it wasn't as big as it is now, I made my own purees but gave her a very small amount of solid food too. I started out with purees for less than a month with my second, as soon as he found solid food he didnt want to know purees and would refuse, he has been eating solids since he was 6 months old.
The thing with BLW is that they don't actually eat that much of the food (apparently) and just play with it in their mouths and get used to the textures, whereas with puree they do and if you arent careful you can give them too much and cause stomach problems later in life (at least that is what they say).
All I can tell you is my DS ate everything I put in front of him and during BLW even though I was fine with it my mum was a nervous wreck everytime he ate (along with any other woman her age when we were out).

The choice is completely yours.

GrumpyHoonMain Sat 20-Jun-20 16:16:59

You can let your baby self feed on purees with blw. Just thicken them a little and let them loose. The choking risk is actually higher with purees because the baby doesn’t have control over the food and are often taught to ignore their instincts.

GrumpyHoonMain Sat 20-Jun-20 16:17:32

Feeding purees. Self feeding is fine

zingally Sat 20-Jun-20 16:28:36

I did purees and baby porridge with my two at the beginning, but then moved to blw. Only because it seemed to go down okay, and, with twins, it was easier just to chuck a load of stuff at them to manage themselves, rather than sit and spoon-feed two of them at the same time.
If I was doing it again with a singleton baby, I'd spend longer on the spoon-feed stage, for a couple of reasons. Pre-baby I'd thought that would be a big, kind of fun stage of "being with my baby", spending 1 on 1 time with, etc. And I also feel like it would get more food down him/her.

Gotta say, my mum was thoroughly puzzled by the whole blw thing. She would say, "it wasn't a thing when you were little". It might of been, but she didn't know of it, and found it very odd.

equuscaballus Sat 20-Jun-20 16:50:35

I read a book written by a nurse. It was very reassuring. Apparently babies have excellent gag reflexes to prevent them from choking, this lessens with age.
BLW lets them get to grips with the basics sooner when their gag reflex is as its best.

equuscaballus Sat 20-Jun-20 16:52:12

It was by Tracey Murkett.

my2bundles Sat 20-Jun-20 16:59:59

Snake time sorry that's complete rubbish that you can give a baby to much purree and it gives them stomach problems later. Puree fed babies stop eating when they have had enough, just the same way they stop with finger foods. You carnt over feed or force feed a purred fed baby, they stop opening their mouth when they don't want anymore or whack the spoon from your hand 😂either way purred fed babies don't eat more than they need and carnt be force fed, it's a made up fantasy used to promote BTW.

Alwaystalks500 Sat 20-Jun-20 17:03:16

DD was eating Madras curries at 8mths, to my horror, having been left with DH.

No reason to think they'll choke just hand food and they'll devour it. Job done

LaurieMarlow Sat 20-Jun-20 17:05:20

whereas with puree they do and if you arent careful you can give them too much and cause stomach problems later in life (at least that is what they say)

That might be what they say to sell BLW books grin

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