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Manual job vs office role - both demanding

(4 Posts)
Randomuser99 Sat 20-Jun-20 08:39:54

DH and i have very different jobs, and its appearing to be very different work ethics which is causing huge arguments. I think its been highlighted more since lockdown but its always been a contentious subject.

I have an office role, middle management, high pressure, demanding etc. Not the type of role where I can log on at 8 and log off at 4 and this be deemed acceptable. I really enjoy my job, but its sometimes mentally draining and by the end of the week I am exhausted. Sometimes (maybe 1 or 2 times a week) I will log on and finish some emails after dd(5) is in bed. Pre lockdown had about a 45 minute commute, since lockdown have been at home, so have probably been working my commute time. I do majority of dd school runs and pick ups, house /life admin, washing, dishwasher loading and emptying, sort pets out, and try to run every other day at least (sometimes in my lunch break)

Dh has a manual job, works shifts but is very much on call during his shift. He can have shifts where he goes to his office, sits there all day playing games on his phone and comes home, or he can have shifts where he is out working all shift. Shifts tend to be shorter than mine (8- 3 is his standard day) and he will usually get to leave 20 minutes or so early unless he is on a call. Does also work night shifts (11 - 7) which I completely appreciate are hard work and I don't expect him to be any help around the house etc when he is on nights.

The last week has been particularly challenging for me at work. Currently in a redundancy process so has involved consultations etc as well as the usual day to day. I am drained. Wanted to sleep about 9pm last night. Dh moaned that I am neglecting him and dd as I didn't want to stay up and watch TV (dd was in bed) doesn't understand how I can be tired from sitting at a desk pressing a few buttons (his words!) So I stayed up until gone 12 to spend time with him, dd was up at 7 this morning so I am now with her while he stays in bed because he is tired as he has worked all week while I have pressed some buttons!

Aibu to thibk both jobs can be demanding in different ways?

OP’s posts: |
Dogsovercats Sat 20-Jun-20 08:50:54

YANBU - I have a job very similar to yours by the sounds of it. It's mentally exhausting! Especially these days where it's one zoom call after another.

ragged Sat 20-Jun-20 08:51:16

I do majority of dd school runs and pick ups, house /life admin


Milssofadoesntreallyfit Sat 20-Jun-20 08:52:03

Of course they can but due to the fact that they are such different jobs you just can't compare at all.
My husband is a mechanic, I do the background stuff. I see what he does and yes it's knackering and stressful if jobs go wrong but still need to go out. My part is stressful yes, he never sees it though as it's invisible to the naked eye, even customers just think I stand and smile at the counter and that I'm shopping if they don't see me.
The though that h has no idea really stressed me for a long time as 8f I became incapacitated he wouldn't know where to start and I'd have a big mess to come back to with little or no help.
It's only now that he's semi retired that he's shown any interest and has now started to see what goes on behind the scenes.

The roles were miles apart despite being part of the same business. I do think manual and office based work are so far apart that many just can't see what the jobs entail.

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