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Ex Logged Into My Messenger

(18 Posts)
WhatInTheHell Thu 18-Jun-20 20:24:26

So my ex and I have been split for almost 6 months. We have been somewhat civil for the children, with a few blowouts in between. However it has been nothing major.

My issue is, I just logged into my messenger and thought something was 'off', if that makes sense hmm. Messages from people had been deleted and only a handful of conversations remained.

I questioned whether he had logged into it which he denied (obviously). He became really blunt and told me we no longer need to communicate with each other unless it is regarding the DC.

WIBU to question him? I know he's logged into my account multiple times before. I have nothing to hide but it's more the principle of it. Somehow I now feel bad for questioning it, like I've caused more aggro for no reason?

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Thu 18-Jun-20 20:26:01

Just change your passwords and let it go.

SchrodingersImmigrant Thu 18-Jun-20 20:26:52

How does he know your passwordconfused

Just change passwords on everything. He is being a dick

Starlightstarbright1 Thu 18-Jun-20 20:28:00

Tbh - you asked him he said no - more than likely he did... so change all your passwords, and move on

heartsonacake Thu 18-Jun-20 20:29:02

You can’t get blood from a stone; there’s no sense in harassing him. Just change your password and move on.

backseatcookers Thu 18-Jun-20 20:29:02

Change all your passwords, on everything. Turn on two factor authorisation, on everything.

CodenameVillanelle Thu 18-Jun-20 20:30:13

Do you use a computer he has had access to? Could he have installed a keylogger?

321youreback Thu 18-Jun-20 20:33:06

My messenger 'lost' all my chats for about an hour the other day, then all back to maybe the same has happened to you ?

Pinkyyy Thu 18-Jun-20 20:33:56

Well to be honest if he knows your passwords and you haven't bothered to change them after you know he's logged in before, what do you expect?

WhatInTheHell Thu 18-Jun-20 20:34:31

He asked for a password for the kids account. Without realising it was the same as mine I gave him it. I have changed everything now, I just find it bizarre that he feels the need to check up on me. Especially when he is 'so happy in his new relationship'.

OP’s posts: |
WhatInTheHell Thu 18-Jun-20 20:36:10

I've changed it multiple times since we broke up, even before actually. He always found a way to log in. I've now put two step verification on everything, which I thought I had on anyway but must have missed it. Hopefully it's just a one off.

OP’s posts: |
Aknifewith16blades Thu 18-Jun-20 20:39:48

Could he have installed a keystroke logger?

Neverender Thu 18-Jun-20 20:41:36

Yeah I'd check for software which allows him access - or get a new laptop

WhatInTheHell Thu 18-Jun-20 20:47:20

@Aknifewith16blades I have absolutely no idea what that is, I'm useless really with technology.

He must have logged on from his phone, we do not share any laptops or such like. Just the children's iPads that go between the houses. Although I'm not logged in on either of those.

OP’s posts: |
Pinkyyy Thu 18-Jun-20 20:50:20

Ah I see, in that case I'd suggest getting a new account?

TrickorTreacle Thu 18-Jun-20 20:56:14

I agree with the comments about a suspect keylogger. It means that the ex doesn't have to be physically in your house, as the keylogger sends your online activity back to the ex. I would strongly suggest performing a factory reset on your laptop using the provided CDs or via your recovery partition. Get someone to help if needs be.

lurker2003 Thu 18-Jun-20 21:04:14

If you go into your settings on facebook you can see a list of active logins, which also have the location too. I’m not sure how accurate the location is though.
My ex recently logged into my Snapchat account, I requested my data from Snapchat (maybe look into doing this with facebook, if it’s possible). This gave me a list of logins with the device the login was from, and also the IP address. You can then look up the IP address which will give the city of the login, which internet provider was used and also longitude and latitude coordinates.

Change all your passwords, even for accounts you wouldn’t expect him to login to.

ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew Thu 18-Jun-20 21:18:00

You can force a log out from all sessions when you change your password too.

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