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To ask if you think about your identity?

(8 Posts)
MuchTooTired Thu 18-Jun-20 00:22:47

I’m just me for the most part, and a mother of twins but that’s mainly because I’m usual chasing one of them or stopping some form of calamity from happening.

I felt like I’d lost my identity when I had them, and didn’t know who I was in the world any more. It’s taken me quite a long time to feel my identity is just me again!

LEELULUMPKIN Thu 18-Jun-20 00:17:54

This is weird because I was only thinking about this today. I am a Mum but don't feel like one, almost as if I am a fraud.

I had a very traumatic birth experience which I am certain is the root of it all. DS is 15 now and I love him to bits but even now I still catch myself and have to remind myself that he is "mine"

It's a really horrible feeling. As I say, I feel such a fraud.

LouiseTrees Thu 18-Jun-20 00:16:56

Thank you

CuppaZa Thu 18-Jun-20 00:16:15

I just identify as ‘me’. All those little and big things add together to make me. I don’t differentiate between mother/occupation/wife/looks etc. I couldn’t dissect everything

whoissylvia Thu 18-Jun-20 00:12:17

LouiseTrees

I actually had an identity crisis today. I also usually just think of me as me which encompasses things like mother, accountant, wife etc but I had two sets of grandparents to my daughter (we have 3) seperately round socially distanced from us in the garden. My husband was at work. And it honestly felt like I was invisible, they talked to the baby and only the baby, didn’t listen to any updates and asked me to repeat myself, didn’t listen when I said I reckon she needs fed but telling me instead to bring x toy out (she was hungry btw) and so on. So many little things. My husband came home and I just started crying saying have I been reduced to “mother” or “skivvy” now.

@LouiseTrees

flowers and safe hugs

whoissylvia Thu 18-Jun-20 00:11:26

Yes, I do sometimes. Thankfully not as much as I used to. I felt for a long time that I didnt really have a sense of identity- not sure who I was. I spent my younger years just trying to be "something." and if I couldn't be somthing or someone positive, even negative would do. Those feelings are getting less now (in my late 30s) but yeah It never has been an easy thing for me.

LouiseTrees Wed 17-Jun-20 23:43:55

I actually had an identity crisis today. I also usually just think of me as me which encompasses things like mother, accountant, wife etc but I had two sets of grandparents to my daughter (we have 3) seperately round socially distanced from us in the garden. My husband was at work. And it honestly felt like I was invisible, they talked to the baby and only the baby, didn’t listen to any updates and asked me to repeat myself, didn’t listen when I said I reckon she needs fed but telling me instead to bring x toy out (she was hungry btw) and so on. So many little things. My husband came home and I just started crying saying have I been reduced to “mother” or “skivvy” now.

Bercows Wed 17-Jun-20 23:31:10

Inspired by various other threads. In light of lots of threads about identity I thought about my own and came up blank apart from a shrug and I'm just me. I would have to think about it beyond the concept of me. I would have to dissect myself to identify all the different things that make me, me. It gives me a headache just thinking about thinking about it!

What's your identity? Do you think of yourself as just you, or do you dissect the various aspects eg mother, wife, lawyer, doctor, teacher, nurse, artist, blonde, short, fat, tall, runner, pole dancer, baker etc? What would be your main response? Would you identify yourself by occupation? Sex? Hobbies? Physical characteristics?

At uni I might have said I was a climber or a student. Now, I'm just me.

Not sure I'm making sense. I should probably identify as needing sleep grin

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