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AIBU?

I have just been sent an email by mistake,

233 replies

iwantitalltobenormal · 17/06/2020 13:56

AIBU to be massivley hurt and pissed off from the email I have just read which was sent to me by mistake?

at the begining of this year, I offered to do a monthly blog for our small team, so other departments are more aware of what we do internally - (manager thought it was a great idea ) baring in mind this was my first attempt at this , and by no means a mandatory task , I did it all on a power point presentation , I also do not claim to be a professional blog writer and I really enjoyed doing it, and putting it together, I sent it to my manager back in March, It took a little while due to also carrying out my day to day job.

fast forward to today ( baring in mind I had no response or feedback on my blog, whether it be positive criticism or any type of feedback) someone has unfortunately sent me a long email trail between my line manager to his line manager slating my work on the blog I had done and slating how unprofessional it the content is - but in a really distasteful way , and nasty.

I feel hurt, upset and belittled.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

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LillianBland · 17/06/2020 14:00

That’s awful. I can completely understand why you’re upset. What nasty bastards. Who sent it to you and why? Did they send it by accident or were they trying to give you a heads up?

I’d be tempted to send them an email stating that you’re stepping down from it as you believe that certain people believe you are (insert some of the personal, nasty insults). Then sit back and wait for a response.

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ToddlerBumpBorderCollie · 17/06/2020 14:00

That’s awful behaviour. I’d be inclined to reply with something icily professional. I believe you have sent this email in error and if you would like my efforts directed elsewhere please find another way of communicating that.

How rude and unprofessional and just generally crap. Hope you’re okay Flowers

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FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 14:01

the mistake was unprofessional

Fair enough to be hurt, but you just had a very genuine feedback that you would never have got in real life. Use it professionally and learn from it. It stings when you get criticised, but sometimes it's helpful.

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lurkingattheback · 17/06/2020 14:02

That's awful. Firstly, I would forward or print off the email to have a copy of it. Do you think they know you've received it?

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Thelnebriati · 17/06/2020 14:02

Some people really struggle with constructive criticism, they probably aren't cut out to be managers.

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burnoutbabe · 17/06/2020 14:02

I'd forward to my manager and ask if you can discuss.

Was your manager slagging off your work?

I'd not contact the sender about this.

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FleurDaxeny · 17/06/2020 14:03

Stay professional in your handling of the situation. Being childish about it is not going to help you in the long run.

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RUOKHon · 17/06/2020 14:03

YANBU! That’s awful. How horrid.

I think you have two options.

You could acknowledge it and say something like - ‘I received this by mistake. It sounds like we should probably have a chat about the concept for the blog. Maybe we could agree a framework for each post so that it meets everyone’s expectations?’

Something like that.

Or you could pretend you haven’t seen it and innocently email him asking for feedback. He might look favourably on you if you give him the opportunity for you to both pretend it never happened.

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Ohfrigginghellers · 17/06/2020 14:04

Some people are really shit. Perhaps jealous?

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shakeituntilyoumakeit · 17/06/2020 14:05

Sit down with a cup of tea and take a deep breath and read it again. Is it all mean or is there anything useful in there. Before you go in all guns blazing is it useful in any way to you despite being mean.

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willywillywillywilly · 17/06/2020 14:05

@ToddlerBumpBorderCollie

That’s awful behaviour. I’d be inclined to reply with something icily professional. I believe you have sent this email in error and if you would like my efforts directed elsewhere please find another way of communicating that.

How rude and unprofessional and just generally crap. Hope you’re okay Flowers

^^ This. Tackle the issue but maintain the high ground. Hope you are ok Flowers
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Tink2007 · 17/06/2020 14:07

@ToddlerBumpBorderCollie

That’s awful behaviour. I’d be inclined to reply with something icily professional. I believe you have sent this email in error and if you would like my efforts directed elsewhere please find another way of communicating that.

How rude and unprofessional and just generally crap. Hope you’re okay Flowers

I second this response.
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HavelockVetinari · 17/06/2020 14:08

@ToddlerBumpBorderCollie

That’s awful behaviour. I’d be inclined to reply with something icily professional. I believe you have sent this email in error and if you would like my efforts directed elsewhere please find another way of communicating that.

How rude and unprofessional and just generally crap. Hope you’re okay Flowers

This. Make sure you manager's manager is copied in.
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Justkeeprollingalong · 17/06/2020 14:09

It's now June and you sent the blog to your line manager in March; have you not asked for a response before now?

Do you know why the person has sent you the email trail?

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MrsTWH · 17/06/2020 14:10

It depends what it said, to be honest. Was it very unprofessional in tone? Who sent it to you?

I would forward the email to your line manager and ask if we can discuss his feedback. If it’s fair criticism, expressed constructively, then take it on the chin and make improvements. If it was “oh my god have you seen the state of this shit?” then I’d suggest that he should have given you proper feedback which made clear what improvements he wanted and not just ignored it and slagged you off behind your back.

I know it stings OP.

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MrsTWH · 17/06/2020 14:10

And yes, why has he not given you any feedback at all? Did you chase him for a response?

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Z0rr0 · 17/06/2020 14:11

That is hugely unprofessional on behalf of the two managers who have a duty not to bring the company into disrepute by making rude, personal comments about a member of staff and I suspect you would have a claim. You are entitled as a member of staff to see all correspondence including emails that mention you by name.
Does the company have an HR department? I would ask for all their policies and procedures and consider asking your HR rep for help in this. Also a union rep. Look at ACAS guidance.
You have been placed in a very difficult position which if you felt no longer able to work there could amount to constructive dismissal.
Do your research before taking any action but what they have done is way beyond the bounds of professional behaviour.
(Assuming you are correct in saying their comments are distasteful and nasty.)

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jamandtonic · 17/06/2020 14:11

Please print off a paper copy and keep it safe.

Who copied you in?

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FourDecades · 17/06/2020 14:11

What did the managers actually comment?

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MatildaTheCat · 17/06/2020 14:11

The reply above is perfect.

So sorry this has happened though. How hard would it have been for one of them to simply let you know much earlier that your work wasn’t really what they were looking for?

Chin up.

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iwantitalltobenormal · 17/06/2020 14:12

Justkeeprollingalong I was furloughed so couldn’t ask .

The person who sent it to me sent it by mistake .

I just feel as though my confidence has been knocked now

I will be thinking up a response - thank for the advice

OP posts:
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NewtonPulsifer · 17/06/2020 14:12

I third the response from @ToddlerBumpBorderCollie it is perfect.

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Tiktokgone · 17/06/2020 14:12

Ouch :(

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ErickBroch · 17/06/2020 14:13

So unprofessional! Even if it wasn't what they had wanted/expected then they should have discussed it with you so you could edit it. Slagging people off via email is so unprofessional. Would never do that at my workplace.

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Ohdeariedear · 17/06/2020 14:14

Poor you, that’s a hard one to take.

I wouldn’t even give them the excuse of suggesting it’s been sent in error , I’d go for ‘I note the content of this email. Can we schedule in some time to discuss it.’

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