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AIBU?

If you're an NHS shift worker, is your school flexible on which day your child goes?

23 replies

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 17/06/2020 09:35

Because my sons school says he has to go on set days. And apparently all the other nurse parents work set days.

I've worked on many wards and I've never known nurses to work set days.

They are basically saying they can't take my son because the shifts will change.

They are to capacity on some days, so I know they can't take him then. But if they aren't to capacity on the other days then I don't see why they can't take him.

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I'm really disappointed.

I've seen one kid go every day despite her mum not working or having a social worker but starting back because her brothers are in year 1,2 and 6. Apparently the school offered the place because "her hands are full" (5 kids in total) so I'm really disappointed that they can't be slightly flexible for me.

I know I'm being U, I'm just stressed about what I'm going to do.

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DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 17/06/2020 09:38

They also told me I had to get my manager to email the school to "prove" I'm a key worker.

Is that normal?!

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Dogsaresomucheasier · 17/06/2020 09:39

Not having flexible childcare is one of the reasons I left nursing. No, school are not unreasonable to ask for set days. A health care system that does not pay skilled professionals that are in demand 24/7 enough to provide a nanny is the problem.

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Scruffyoak · 17/06/2020 09:39

Hi. I have had a similar issue due to my shifts changing weekly. We also have some kids in school for no reason. I gave up in end and I have my teenagers at home that have helped with childcare but it is not ideal. I'm really annoyed how the school have dealt with this personally. :(

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Dogsaresomucheasier · 17/06/2020 09:40

We had to show work I D to get a place.

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SandieCheeks · 17/06/2020 09:41

Can you choose the days left? So if school are full on Tuesdays and Thursdays just book him in for every Mon/Wed/Fri? That will be easier for the school to manage.

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DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 17/06/2020 09:42

No, they want me to 'prove' what days I need.

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Iheardit · 17/06/2020 09:43

The school are happy for dc to go when I am working, and stay home when I am off.
If my shifts change they don’t need notice as he has a space in his bubble that can’t be given to anyone else.
Your school sounds very difficult.

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topclip1 · 17/06/2020 09:44

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Mummyshark2018 · 17/06/2020 09:53

My trust had given us all a letter that we can carry saying I'm a nhs worker. It is quite generic and doesn't say which days I work though.
However the way bubbles work I would've thought that he could attend whichever days , as surely they wouldn't be filling that spot with another child. My dc was going one day and then from last week they were able to go another as there was still space in the bubble.

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pumpkinpie01 · 17/06/2020 09:54

That does seem unfair , my ds's school just ask that you tell them the days you need for the following week by midday on Friday. I don't work for the nhs but my boss does keep changing my days and they are fine with it. Seems very unfair when another mother has ' got her hands full ' and you actually need to go to work !

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VEGAS2016 · 17/06/2020 09:54

In my trust nurses do get set days its part of the flexible working policy. You need to apply for it in writing to your line manager & they have to prove to refuse that it will be of detriment to the ward to not let you have it.

I do long days & im part time, so i can one set day (mon) if full time i would get 2 set days & then one other random day.

I did have to send a letter from my line manager to prove i worked for the trust. I would assume this is normal to stop people pretending they work for the NHS!

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SandieCheeks · 17/06/2020 10:06

I'd ask your manager to email confirming you're a nurse and saying you need childcare every day to cover your shift pattern.

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Beebie2 · 17/06/2020 10:10

I’m a teacher and my school are totally flexible - we need a bit of notice though, kids can’t just rock up.

My kids school is the same, They’ve requested a weeks notice, but the attendance pattern can vary week to week as much as you need.

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nothingcomestonothing · 17/06/2020 10:26

My DCs school was initially 'they can only come when you're physically at work' but since they've moved to bubbles it's all or nothing, so I work 4 days but DC go to school 5 (well, for the truncated time that passes for a school day now). I didn't get any say in when their bubble starts/finishes it's just allocated, so work have had to accept me changing my working pattern, again.

They can't use that place if your DC isn't there because that'd be adding to the bubble, so I can't see what odds it makes to them when you're at work. I've never been asked to prove my working times or NHS ID, though it's a small school so anyone taking the piss would be found out very quickly. My Trust have been v flexible, I'm astounded as they've never been at all family friendly at all before, maybe talk to your line manager to see what they can accommodate?

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DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 17/06/2020 11:19

I'm a teacher and my school are totally flexible - we need a bit of notice though, kids can’t just rock up.

They told me I need to give them a whole terms notice Hmm

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tiredanddangerous · 17/06/2020 11:22

A close friend of mine is a nurse and she has dealt with this by just putting her dc into school full time. Will they let you do that?

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KeyWorker · 17/06/2020 11:29

I’m a shift working nurse. I put down for my daughter that I needed childcare everyday so that she had a place. I then explained via email that I don’t actually work everyday. School were fine with this, said just to send her when I needed to and but she had a place everyday if needed. Hope that makes sense.

As for having your manager email them to confirm you are a key worker, I think that was quite common. Your manager can also add onto the email that you are I able to do set shifts in your role too.

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TinnedPearsForPudding · 17/06/2020 11:34

DS school is totally flexible, I email the days I need according to my rota as soon as I know, and he has a space on those days. No issues so far. Hadn't realised some were less flexible
Both DH & I were asked to provide proof that we are key workers - I emailed a copy of our ID cards, this seemed to work.

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CallmeAngelina · 17/06/2020 12:21

We've been flexible because our numbers have been low. So once KW kids have been signed into the system, they can come and go as they please. I don't think anyone has abused the system by turning up when their parent is at home.
Not sure whether that same flexibility will apply next week when Yrs 2-5 come back in slightly greater numbers.

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drspouse · 17/06/2020 13:52

They can't move children in and out of KW bubbles though.
My DD was originally in on my DH long working days (he's WFH but we couldn't keep the DCs quiet enough for his many, high level clearance meetings).
She was struggling so much at home though they have now said she can go full time. They couldn't use her e.g. Monday space for another child.

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CallmeAngelina · 17/06/2020 14:08

They can't move children in and out of KW bubbles though.

No. If a KW child doesn't turn up for any Thursdays or Fridays, for instance, that place can't be given to another child, even if there's a waiting list. We have one who only comes on Mondays and Tuesday mornings.
I'm wondering what will happen next week, with Yrs 2-5, if the weather's particularly nice and any of them fancy nipping off to the beach for the day. I presume they can still do so? One less child for the school to deal with, I suppose.

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Shinebright72 · 17/06/2020 14:12

I would ask to speak to the head at the school. At my school you just book online every 2 weeks what ever days you need your under no obligation as to what days you pick and choose.

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Kapps123 · 17/06/2020 16:41

My trust did a generic email saying I am keyworker and shifts. The head at my daughter's school has been excellent. My daughter is in different days as I work 4 nights on, 4 nights off. It's the same with all the NHS and care workers. Your school is being quite harsh, but there again, my daughter's head has gone above and beyond in accomodating the children in the school.

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