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Am I a shit mother

(68 Posts)
EttaJames29 Tue 16-Jun-20 22:52:57

2 kids. They are fed every day and bathed every day, but my 5 year old eats too many chicken dippers and sometimes they wear the same pyjamas for a couple of days running. I constantly tell them both how much I love them, how proud I am of them and that they are capable of anything they set their mind to. But sometimes I also let my toddler play in the lounge on his own whilst I sit on my phone in the room next door (quite often, during lockdown). I ask my daughter lots of questions so she knows that I am interested in her but I also get frustrated often because she talks so much. I make an effort to take them out for nice walks but don't always enjoy it, and my daughter seems happier at home on her iPad. The toddler is gorgeous and I smother him with cuddles but I don't "play" with him, my daughter does though. I feel that I should be more mentally "present", but I'm so tired.

3 months of being stuck at home alone with them and I'm really doubting myself as a mother.

OP’s posts: |
Notimeforaname Tue 16-Jun-20 23:20:20

What's wrong with wearing the same pyjamas for 2 days running?!

Notimeforaname Tue 16-Jun-20 23:22:41

But no op, you dont sound like a shit mother at all. You can't always be overly excited and interested all the time. Kids, although amazing, can be tedious and boring at the best of times grin

whywhywhy6 Tue 16-Jun-20 23:25:05

You’re fine OP. A little part of me is wondering if you’re joking? Wearing PJs for multiple days and letting them play together is normal!

grey12 Tue 16-Jun-20 23:26:42

You're making ME feel like a bad mother confused I'm letting mine watch too much tv!

AngelicInnocent Tue 16-Jun-20 23:28:01

I loved time with my dc when they were little but I also loved the days they went to nursery and I got a "break" by going to work.

3 months of constant company is enough to tire anyone.

TheBouquets Tue 16-Jun-20 23:28:35

Give yourself a pat on the back for surviving 3 months with two young DC. This is not an easy or normal time. Everything is so much more difficult just now. You are doing great

Thedogscollar Tue 16-Jun-20 23:30:05

EttaJames29 You sound like a lovely Mum to me. Don't doubt

Shadeslayer Tue 16-Jun-20 23:30:09

Sounds exactly like normal life. Don't let people fool you into thinking they are all perfect parents totally engaged every moment of the day.

Sometimes when ds talks to me about fortnite (yes he plays it) I can feel my eyes crossing with boredom. I really don't know why people pretend it's all amazing times everyone knows it's not.

Jointhecircus Tue 16-Jun-20 23:30:40

All sounds pretty standard. You’re doing fine!

midnightstar66 Tue 16-Jun-20 23:34:33

I now feel terrible- no idea how many times I've asked dd2 to stop talking this week 🙈

scotsllb Tue 16-Jun-20 23:38:03

You sound like a wonderful mum. This is such a hard time.
I am feeling it with my 2 year old and feel guilty letting him watch loads of tv and too much beige food.
This time will pass soon and in the meantime don't be so hard on yourself ❤️

confusedandtired99 Tue 16-Jun-20 23:43:56

Generally shit mothers don’t ask if they are shit so the fact that you worry about it tells me you aren’t.

Times are hard at the moment flowers

Writerandreader Tue 16-Jun-20 23:44:22

3 months with no child care no playgroups no playgrounds. You deserve a medal and I hardly ever wash pajamas grin

B0bbin Tue 16-Jun-20 23:45:57

Pyjamas don't need to be fresh each night. Do they??? We make pyjamas last a few nights to a week in this houseblush

Abbazed Tue 16-Jun-20 23:53:45

You're a good Mummy. They're fed and clean and loved. Loved is best.

Abbazed Tue 16-Jun-20 23:54:53

I've a 5 year old like most others he'd eat a 20 box of nuggets. Can you show me any that would not?

HollowTalk Tue 16-Jun-20 23:55:09

You don't have to keep telling your children that you love them - it's lovely to tell them but it is smothering if someone says it all the time. Show your love in your actions, in taking an interest in what they're doing and saying.

ZoeCM Wed 17-Jun-20 00:03:21

I'm a grown woman and I occasionally wear the same pair of PJs two days in a row!

AtrociousCircumstance Wed 17-Jun-20 00:05:23

There is absolutely nothing in your post to suggest you are doing anything other than brilliantly.

You’re a loving mother who’s carrying on the best way she can - it all sounds absolutely fine. They need space too, remember.

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 17-Jun-20 00:06:16

sometimes they wear the same pyjamas for a couple of days running

Seriously?! My lot wear their onsies until they are too stiff to get on grin

Ok maybe not that bad but when the weather was crappy I realised DC6 had been wearing her onsie for three straight days and not got dressed once.....blush

Now I make a point of making sure she gets dressed at some point, usually.

GiraffesAreBeautiful Wed 17-Jun-20 00:07:25

If you’re a shit mother then I propose you join the club.

Seriously though, there’s only so much you can give of yourself, you need your own time too. You have kept them alive and healthy and entertained. Award yourself some satisfaction you’ve achieved this!

I don’t think we’ll be reading about a Covid generation of kids in decades to come. Just chill and know you’re not on your own.

Italiangreyhound Wed 17-Jun-20 00:09:24

You are not a shit mum.

You just sound a bit stressed, like most of us are.

And you sound fine. As TheBouquets says "Give yourself a pat on the back for surviving 3 months with two young DC."

CJsGoldfish Wed 17-Jun-20 00:10:50

You know no one is going to tell you that you are so go ahead and give yourself a big pat on the back.

You sound like everyone else, doing the best you can in rubbish circumstances.

Greenmarmalade Wed 17-Jun-20 00:11:53

You’re doing great. Don’t doubt yourself!

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