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To think it's a bit weird

(33 Posts)
indecisivewoman81 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:45:10

That my MIL sends my husband Father's Day cards?

It really winds me up.

My husband doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with it. But I feel like it's totally not her place to do this.

I told him so and now we have had an argument and I am being made out to be irrational.

AIBU?

Cupcakegirl13 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:47:08

It’s a bit unusual but they make cards for everyone to send to everyone these days so where’s the harm ?

mbosnz Tue 16-Jun-20 18:47:29

That kind of gives me the ick.

Prisonbreak Tue 16-Jun-20 18:53:42

What’s the problem? Is he not a father?

SallyWD Tue 16-Jun-20 18:54:53

It's a bit unusual but no harm done. She's probably just proud of him. I wouldn't make a fuss.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Tue 16-Jun-20 18:55:07

Yeah, it's weird.

He's not her father...

Batshittery Tue 16-Jun-20 18:55:07

Why should it bother you? Let them get on with it.

RyanBergarasTeeth Tue 16-Jun-20 18:55:23

Surely the problem is its not her job its his kids job and if they are too young then its their mothers job to do it on their behalf. Its not his mother's job to do it.

GiantPinesAhem Tue 16-Jun-20 18:56:01

I would feel like they thought I wasn't going to bother organising it!

I organise them for my dp, both from my dc's and from his, but I expect someone in my ex's family to organise one for him, I would only expect someone else to do one for my dp if he didn't have a partner to do it.

Bluntness100 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:56:10

Why does it wind you up? He’s a father right? What harm does it do?

Why would you pick this hill to die on?

CrystalMaisie Tue 16-Jun-20 18:56:21

Bit strange.

indecisivewoman81 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:57:25

I think my issue is; that it's my place as his partner/wife to send him these sort of cards. And by her doing so it undermines me. Plus I feel like it's weird.

I'm all for her telling him he is a great father ?he is) and that she is proud of him (as am I) but a card on Father's Day saying "you are an amazing dad" is a step too far

iwilltaketwoplease Tue 16-Jun-20 18:57:26

Yep weird.

LochJessMonster Tue 16-Jun-20 18:57:31

Does she sign them from him or from your children?

It’s a bit weird sending your son a Father’s Day card.

iwilltaketwoplease Tue 16-Jun-20 18:58:32

I was going to ask the same as LochJess,

Who is the card signed off from?

indecisivewoman81 Tue 16-Jun-20 18:59:35

The first ever card (when our son was 6 months) was from our son!! And I was livid.

Since then it is from her.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays Tue 16-Jun-20 19:01:12

What’s the problem? Is he not a father?

He's not her father, no.

SmileyClare Tue 16-Jun-20 19:01:53

Yes my MIL does this. The card is always huge and over the top "to the best father that ever lived" or similar.

I'm sure she thinks I'll forget it's father's day every year confused I've given up letting it bother me.

I put the card at the back behind the ones he gets from the children to make me feel better.

Freddiefox Tue 16-Jun-20 19:02:00

Are they from your children? I knew a mil who did this, her son lived with his children and his partner. The mil had spent years doing fathers day cards before he was with his partner. The mil didn’t want to give the new partner another job to do so carried on. She ended up doing the partner a card on Mother’s Day too so not to leave her out of feel weird.

SmileyClare Tue 16-Jun-20 19:06:34

Good point, Freddie does she send a mother day card to you Op? That would even things up a bit.

Hopefully she doesn't send a Valentine's card to dh too? Now that would be odd.

Lookatthat Tue 16-Jun-20 19:09:59

I’d find it weird. Like she’s suggesting you wouldn’t remember to give him a card on behalf of your children.

BoudicasBoudoir Tue 16-Jun-20 19:11:16

My MIL sends my husband a Valentine’s card. I think that’s worse.

SmileyClare Tue 16-Jun-20 19:12:29

Christ a Valentine's card is really inappropriate grin

SugarNyx Tue 16-Jun-20 19:14:05

Don’t see the problem. It’s a card! It will make him happy. I hope my sons wife doesn’t object to me buying cards when he grows up! Get over yourself 🙄

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov Tue 16-Jun-20 19:14:20

My mom gave me a Mother's Day card for my first Mother's Day and I didnt think it was weird at all, it was lovely to be acknowledged by her like that. If my MIL gave one to my Dh I'd be chuffed she recognised what a good dad he is, but I know her and she's be doing it out of a good place rather than showmanship or one upmanship on me or anything else. So I don't think it's outright weird.

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