Social distancing

[Yummymummy2020]

Partners large family living in separate area refuse to follow guidelines or social distancing. We have a young baby and had been cocooning due to my heath conditions. I’m more asking for advice on how to keep us safe, ideally they would follow the guidelines but they are refusing to. I don’t want to keep myself or baby away if it can be avoided now visits are allowed, but I’m starting to think it’s the only solution at the moment even though the country is opening up again. Has anyone else had similar issues and how did you handle it? Even when we were in full lockdown they were angry we didn’t visit as they were going to friends houses and gatherings like there was no pandemic. As this could cause a family rift, am I being unreasonable wanting to stand my ground on the distancing when it effects us directly as in they can mix where they want and take risks but around us and the baby we want them to keep a distance?

[midgebabe]

It boils down to

Either they accept your wishes ( to keep yourself and child safe as possible) or you accept their wishes ( to visit and to renew normal life)

Why should your wishes be less worthy than their wishes? If it causes a rift, why would it be your fault given the symmetry of the problem?

You alluded to a health condition, have you made it clear to them what the risks to you are? Could baby have inherited this risk?

[TheFormerPorpentiaScamander]

I didn't think visits were allowed?

[TheFormerPorpentiaScamander]

Well socially distanced ones are actually. But if they wont stick to that then I'd tell them they cant visit.

[Yummymummy2020]

@midgebabe yes baby might have it but we don’t know yet. They are fully aware just they keep saying it’s just a flu. I feel that way too in that I want the baby to see them but Because of all the mixing I want to maintain distancing between the households till it’s safe again. Our doctors advised keeping a distance and they said they would but in reality when we called they wouldn’t and stood at the pram touching the baby so we politely left after things didn’t improve after requesting to do the distancing about ten times. I do understand it’s hard but at this time it makes me feel a bit vulnerable. It also bothers me that I’m made feel I’m in the wrong so I’m second guessing if I’m being over cautious. But I feel our doctor is who would know best at the end of the day. You are right about if there is a rift it’s more them but I guess I just hate fights and drama and don’t want them to not want to see the baby when this passes!

[Yummymummy2020]

Just to clarify when I said I feel that way too it was not that this is just a flu- it was the next point in the previous post I was alluding to in case anyone thinks I am undermining the virus I’m not! Sorry just I realise it looked like that!

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

So - a decision between a family rift or increasing the risk of your family succumbing to a potentially fatal disease?
Your choice.

[Yummymummy2020]

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay I agree, I know I shouldn’t be doubting myself but my partner disagrees and says I have no right to stop him bringing her over there even if I don’t want to go, I think he is right too as we are still together so I feel it’s as much up to him as me, and if there is a row that he will get his way about it because he won’t want to fall out with them, so I don’t really know how best to handle it except make my wishes clear. I can only really say they can’t come to our home as such.

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

Sorry, it must be really frustrating to have a partner who is so blase utter dick who simply ignores/overrules you

Just bear in mind that serious impact of covid is for adults/elderly and try not to be too anxious if overruled.

[borntohula]

Well, you'll never feel safe as long as the virus exists then, will you.

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

EveryDayIsADuvetDay
Actually there are quite a few underlying conditions that make people vulnerable to Covid and OP has already said that doctor has said she needs to be more careful

[Honeydukesmum]

Could you keep baby in a sling ?

[Yummymummy2020]

@Honeydukesmum that’s a brilliant idea she is still tiny so I can! I hadn’t actually thought of that at all, thank you so much!!!

[Yummymummy2020]

@borntohula well I don’t feel safe now as I have been told by doctors I’m not, but if they get a handle on the outbreaks and ideally if they come up with a vaccine I’ll feel a lot less vulnerable, as I’m sure a lot of people with underlying conditions will. Also, there is a possibility it will weaken over time or that there may also be better treatments than the lack of what is available now. Either way the advice is to socially distance which seems to be enough a lot of the time when undertaken with handwashing ect, and if I am able to do that I’m quite content. The issue was people not socially distancing hence why I felt particularly vulnerable for myself and the baby.

[borntohula]

@Yummymummy2020 I understand where you're coming from, I suppose I'm quite laid back about it. That's not to say I think it's not a deeply unpleasant and, for some, a dangerous virus but I'm of the point of view that we have to learn to live with it. Fingers crossed for a vaccine as soon as possible.