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To feel hurt

(3 Posts)
Buffythewankerslayer Tue 16-Jun-20 00:45:11

My husband had an affair with a woman at work. I found out about it in January...I decided to try and move on and we have made a lot of progress...big changes in communication and I have accepted that it is not reasonable financially for him to leave without finding another job, and then lockdown happened which made that a little bit less of an issue because of working from home.

I used his phone tonight, with his permission to enter my card datails for a purchase... and a notification for a group message came up was a work group, and it was her picture with a response to another group member.

I just feel so stuck, he is in that group. I got very upset and he showed me the group chat, he has responded once or twice to others specifically, there is nothing untoward but i can’t help feeling how on earth I am supposed to heal when notifications are popping up on his phone from her, albeit not directly to him. I know it’s all about trust and actually I do trust him now ironically but I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to make things work, but it is so triggering seeing that. It is a group chat and he is not talking directly to her in it. I feel lost 😞

OP’s posts: |
bubbleup Tue 16-Jun-20 01:07:36

Sorry OP, but this isn't going to go away. Does it ever?

You either put up with it or get your shit together and move on x

Yeahnahmum Tue 16-Jun-20 06:36:36

Is not her that should be triggering. It is looking at your husband that should be. He is at fault. So either burry your hand in the sand a bit deeper and continue living the 'happy' lie. Or realise what he has done and how this is going to affect every single aspect of your life together for the rest of your life.

And saying you trust him..shock

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