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AIBU to think I'm going to find it hard to pass my driving test now?

(28 Posts)
Peterbishopssarcasticsmile Mon 15-Jun-20 16:41:09

I'm mid thirties. One of those pretend grown ups grin who never passed their test. Failed twice when I was 18 then moved to London where having a car seemed frankly pointless and non affordable and only moved out last year.
I now have a baby DS and really bitterly regret not returning to it
I'm worried I'm going to find it so much harder to learn now, and I was an anxious driver anyway.
Plus sitting in a contained space with a driving instructor probably isn't going to be the best idea for a while, I'm thinking.

I feel like I've missed the boat.
Am wondering whether an intensive course would work.

I posted on the other thread about regretting driving and it's got me thinking about it crossly again

OP’s posts: |
Cadent Mon 15-Jun-20 16:45:24

You haven’t missed the boat at all! My sister in law learned to drive as a SAHM with all responsibility for kids and home. She passed on her 4th or 5th attempt but she did it! She wouldn’t give up, you just need to be determined. And of course you need support from your partner.

rubydoobydoo Mon 15-Jun-20 16:47:52

I learned to drive in my 30s - it took me longer than most people, 18 months of lessons before I felt confident enough to take my test but I passed first time. grin

I love driving now!

Isthisfinallyit Mon 15-Jun-20 16:56:52

Yes, it takes longer to learn than an 18 year old. Still doable though. I passed when I was 38. Sure, I had a few more lessons than average but at our age you can afford a few extra lessons.

Isthisfinallyit Mon 15-Jun-20 16:57:18

Oh and I passed the first time!

Wanderer1 Mon 15-Jun-20 17:05:53

My sister learnt to drive in her 30s after multiple fails in late teens and a total lack of confidence. Two week intensive course and BAM passed. She is now a really confident driver who racks up ridiculous mileage annually. Totally doable OP, good luck

PlightOfTheConchords Mon 15-Jun-20 17:10:59

I took my test at 28. Was having lessons for a bit less than a year I think. If I’m honest, I was a horribly nervous driver. To make matters worse, I got pregnant about a month after passing so I was constantly fretting. I would get really panicky about getting in the car and going anywhere that wasn’t local.

However, 4 years later I drive up and down the country now and I actually love it. Definitely harder being older I think, but once you get going it does all fit into place.

Boom45 Mon 15-Jun-20 17:13:23

I learned in my 30s with my baby in the back seat while pregnant. I'd never had a lesson in my life either. My driving instructor said the "older" learners take a bit longer but tend to be better drivers because they have more awareness of their own mortality so are more sensible

GrumpyHoonMain Mon 15-Jun-20 17:14:07

It took me years of learning in a manual and then I gave up. Took me just 1 year in an automatic in my thirties to be test ready.

Boom45 Mon 15-Jun-20 17:14:24

And I bloody love driving too. It's awesome, so much more freedom than when I was struggling on busses with a toddler while pregnant...

Skyliner001 Mon 15-Jun-20 17:14:37

I started to learn at about 30 years old… Had a bit of a knock to my confidence in one of my lessons, and so just stopped for about nine months.

Changed instructor and went back, by this point I was about 34, and passed first time. It's never too late!

DramaAlpaca Mon 15-Jun-20 17:16:30

My mother passed her test first time at 65! You are a youngster, of course you can do it smile

hellsbellsmelons Mon 15-Jun-20 17:18:08

A friends ExP decided he needed to drive at 45.
He passed and her life is sooo much easier now.

I think one of the intensive courses might be your best bet.
Get it all over and done with.

purplemunkey Mon 15-Jun-20 17:22:28

I passed first time at 36. Same reason as you really. Didn’t need a car while living and working in London. Later in life I’d moved out of London and had a toddler.

Did an intensive course as hellsbells mentions. Just booked a week off and did it. I learned and passed in a manual, switched to an automatic about 6 months after passing and much prefer it.

You can definitely do it!

iklboo Mon 15-Jun-20 17:28:52

DH is a driving instructor instructor. His oldest pupil was 62. She used to bring him out a curry at each lesson (Sikh lady) and we got invited to her grandson's wedding. grin

McPie Tue 16-Jun-20 08:43:29

I passed my test in January at 41! A good instructor is worth their weight in gold, mine helped calm my nerves down on a few occasions. I started out with 2 hour lessons then 2 1 hour lessons a week as he said I was making more mistakes in the 2nd hour so 1 was best.
I passed 1st time and found kalms and rescue remedy helped with the nerves a little, a towel was the only thing that helped with the sweat that poured from me during a lesson though grin

Timeforanamechangeagain1 Tue 16-Jun-20 08:45:21

I passed on my 5th attempt at 35!

bibliomania Tue 16-Jun-20 08:49:47

I'm a decade older than you and have just applied for my provisional licence. I've been fearful and avoidant all these years. Weirdly, it just clicked that I don't have to pass the first time round, and suddenly I feel better - I'm ready to fall a few times till I get there.

theonlywayisapple Tue 16-Jun-20 08:51:59

I passed at 39. Took me 3 months on a sort of intensive course but I also bought a car to practice in when not with the instructor. I passed 1st time. Best thing I ever did

Osirus Wed 17-Jun-20 01:28:11

I passed just before lockdown and I’m 37. I had six months of lessons before my test was booked. I passed second time. Both tests were fine - second obviously better! It as scary as you might imagine and it’s over in the blink of an eye.

I’m someone who had been terrified of driving my entire life until I had a child. I did it for her. I don’t want her catching the bus in the dark. I passed to keep her safe.

Osirus Wed 17-Jun-20 01:28:55

*it’s NOT as scary as you might imagine, that should have said. Sorry!

IwishIhadaMargarita Wed 17-Jun-20 01:41:09

My mum learned in her 50’s as my dad became ill and couldn’t do it. She found it easier to learn on an automatic and as a nervous driver I also prefer automatic although I have a manual license. Would finding an automatic instructor be better, (although you will only be able to drive an automatic whereas pass in a manual and you can drive either) if that’s away the clutch control, heat change element which is what I hate.

safariboot Wed 17-Jun-20 01:55:22

It'll take you longer but you can learn at any age.

If you want to be a good driver, don't do a crash course. But if you have the time and money for a few two-hour lessons a week that will help. If you have the opportunity for private practice that will also really help cut down on the paid lessons, provided your supervising driver is good at supervising.

I could only afford one lesson a week and no other practice, took me nearly a year in my late 20s. But in that I'd driven in all weathers daytime and nighttime, I think it helped a lot to have learned that stuff in lessons instead of being thrown into it as an unaccompanied new driver.

RyanBergarasTeeth Wed 17-Jun-20 05:03:00

Get stuck in and do as much as you can op. It took me 5 attempts to pass my test at 18 then again at 20. I had a refresher lesson about 2 years ago having not driven since passing. Its been 8 years now im 28 i need a car pretty badly and know i need to just jump in and drive to get used to it. Im getting an automatic when i can. My advice to you is dont take long breaks with driving. Cram as many lessons as you can smile

LellyMcKelly Wed 17-Jun-20 05:22:58

I passed at 19 but then never drove again until 37 and had to take a set of refresher lessons. Tried with 3 different instructors - even went to hypnotherapy to calm my nerves (waste of time). The third instructor was by far the best and was much more specific than the other two. You’re definitely not too old. I’d recommend taking a couple of taster lessons with different instructors to see which one suits you best. Also think about an automatic which is much easier to drive.

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