I’m in Australia, where restrictions are lifting. We can have overnight guests. So legally/ethically the following is ok. But I’m blown away and need to vent this.
My husband’s bestie (lifelong friend, but lives far away) wants to come and visit when state borders open next week. So as soon as it’s allowed, he would come.
We have 3 kids, the youngest is 14 months old. She doesn’t sleep.
He asked to come, but suggested a week, which I actually think is a rudely long time to stay with people with a baby unless you’re doing their chores alongside them and really pitching in or are immediate family in which case, I STILL think household help is reasonable and considerate. BUT I’m very introverted and find houseguests stressful at the best of times so can accept my ideas of acceptable visit lengths may be short by others standards.
He’s also expressed that he’d like to spend the time “half-half” with the family, and half with my husband going to pubs or on outings.
AIBU to think this is rude and inappropriate? It feels like: ditch the kids with your wife and take me out for half a week. While I also stay in their home?!
I’m also not comfortable with suddenly going back to houseguests all of a sudden. COVID concerns and also disturbing the baby reasons.
This man does not have kids. He’s in a relationship, but he works in hospitality. Our lives and hours are very different. I don’t feel he’d be deliberately inconsiderate, I imagine he’s just utterly oblivious to the demands of family life and what staying with a baby who doesn’t sleep would actually be like? I think he wants to see his friend one on one without realising what a huge sacrifice that would actually mean for everyone else.
I’ve said no way. My husband is clearly disappointed but said it’s “whatever I’m comfortable with”. Which makes me madder, can he not see it’s an inappropriate suggestion?! Or AIBU?
I’ve suggested my husband go there. That way they get their one on one time, and there’s no risk of waking a baby. But I think his friend is offended. And I look like a bit of a cow?
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AIBU?
AIBU about husband’s friend visiting?
111 replies
SquarePeggyLeggy · 15/06/2020 05:19
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
323 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
28%
You are NOT being unreasonable
72%
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