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To think the new support bubble is nonsense if you aren’t social distancing from anyone.

(15 Posts)
BeeB29 Sat 13-Jun-20 07:33:37

I think it’s a great idea generally for single households who need support. I’m not denying that.

However, I have an widowed elderly relative who has formed a ‘support bubble’ with her daughter, a hubby and grown up children at home

Yet the daughter and her family aren’t social distancing at all. Meeting with friends, having parties, having people in the house, drinking with people with barely any social distancing ultimately putting said elderly relative at risk from catching Covid? I’m not sure elderly relative knows about this. I do. Facebook tells all.

Elderly relative (won’t go into great who it is as could give myself away) has been hospitalised previously with chest infections and pneumonia. She had no underlying health issues as such but her age would be an issue and because she’s always had quite a few bad chest infections.

Aibu to try and talk to them and remind them how important social distancing is if they want to spend time with elderly relative.

Elderly relative must get lonely and I’m not denying it is a great idea for single people but I think they need to start social distancing to minimise the risk.

I feel it’s not my problem. But I would be devastated if the said relative caught covid as would be the family she’s joined up with but I really don’t think they fully watch the news. They seem to think this is over.


OP’s posts: |
NoHardSell Sat 13-Jun-20 07:54:45

Does elderly relative have learning difficulties or dementia? Are they considered capable of making decisions about their care?
If so, you can relax and just focus on your own actions.

sleepydragons Sat 13-Jun-20 08:02:00

They have to make their own decisions. An elderly relative of ours has asked that we go and visit them at home but we've said no because they are going out daily to garden centres, shops and sitting with other people in the park. As a single parent over 55 who works out of the home full time and has no childcare if I was hospitalized, I can't afford to get ill so I'm staying well away, they are annoyed with me about it but that is their choice just like it is mine.

Betty98 Sat 13-Jun-20 08:04:39

I’m a bit confused... if they’re not following the guidelines anyway then why haven’t they been seeing her all along?

Allnamesaregone Sat 13-Jun-20 08:05:29

It’s none of your business.

BeeB29 Sat 13-Jun-20 08:22:20

@Betty98. They didn’t see her (apart from at a distance for weeks) as they didn’t want to risk her getting ill but now they seem okay with it.

I feel like it is my business as it’s my grandmother. She lost her husband only months ago. I don’t want to go through losing another grandparent 😢 They basically brought me up.

OP’s posts: |
BeeB29 Sat 13-Jun-20 08:23:35

Grandma probably doesn’t even know they aren’t social distancing from people that’s the problem. She’s not on social media where regular photos and live videos of parties are posted.

OP’s posts: |
SteelyPanther Sat 13-Jun-20 08:26:52

Is your parent, the child of grandma, still alive ? If so, what do they think ?

nanbread Sat 13-Jun-20 08:26:58

I would talk to them 100%. Of course it's your business, it's your grandmother! She could be putting herself unwittingly at risk.

vanillandhoney Sat 13-Jun-20 08:28:58

Isn't grandma more than capable of making her own decisions? Maybe she thinks seeing her children and grandchildren is worth the minuscule risk from Covid?

The transmission rate in the community is currently very low. The vast, vast majority of infections are in care homes now.

Icequeen01 Sat 13-Jun-20 09:15:48

My 80 year old vulnerable but not shielding mum was really excited when she heard about the social bubble. She lives on her own but lives next door to us. She hasn't been in our house or us into her's since the beginning of March. I felt awful explaining to her that nothing had really changed as my DH and I were still working in our SEN schools and my DS was working in Tesco so the risk was still there.

We will continue with a cup of coffee in the garden miles apart!

nanbread Sat 13-Jun-20 11:54:30

Isn't grandma more than capable of making her own decisions?

Well yes, but they're not exactly informed decisions if she doesn't know they're seeing other people. It will probably become apparent once she moves in though...

vanillandhoney Sat 13-Jun-20 12:06:47


*Isn't grandma more than capable of making her own decisions?*

Well yes, but they're not exactly informed decisions if she doesn't know they're seeing other people. It will probably become apparent once she moves in though...

It's quite possible she already knows - OP is only speculating that she doesn't.

At any rate, the transmission rate in the community is incredibly low at the moment. I think we need to stop this attitude of "the elderly have no clue and need to be protected at all costs" - surely they can make their own minds up?

YeOldeTrout Sat 13-Jun-20 12:14:09

I will never stop being shock at people who post pics all over SM of themselves openly breaking rules. Why share that? confused I posted a pic of me taking DSs for a long walk on an empty beach & got a tsk tsk comment... I'm not sure which rule I broke. It had been announced weeks earlier we could drive for exercise but then MNers said that driving only ok if you lived on a 60mph road without pavement... so many made-up rules.

Will you be happy to fall out with your relatives who have formed the bubble with your Gran (or with your Gran herself)? That's the most likely outcome of you speaking up about your concerns.

nanbread Sat 13-Jun-20 12:38:54

I agree @vanillandhoney that the risk is low, and I did say in my post "if" she doesn't know. I understand if OP would want to ask the daughter if the grandmother knows what's been happening, not that she should go in there all guns blazing.

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