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Worried about five year old

(41 Posts)
MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 00:33:47

I can’t sleep.

She’s a sensitive soul. Feels things deeply. She’s in Primary 1. Up until about two/three weeks ago she was loving lockdown. She loves being at home with me. She would say that she missed her pals but that she liked being at home. She has a little sister who is 3 and they have become extremely close.

It’s been hard. My husband and I are working full time from home and trying to manage everything. Trying to do a bit of home educating (but not enough). I feel like I haven’t been a good mum, a good wife, a good employee. My mental health is declining.

The last 2/3 weeks she has become sad and withdrawn. Had enough now. Wants to go back to school. Wants to see her friends and go to to the park and the soft play and swimming. She’s bored. Wants to go and see her grandma (they love 100 miles away so we haven’t seen them in months other than on FaceTime).

God I have done my best. I have showered them with toys, crafts, activities, stuff to do in the garden. We have walked. Cycled. Baked. Cooked. Treasure hunts. I’m out of ideas and I’m on my knees. My sister writes letters with puzzles and gifts to keep them occupied and amused. There is screen time.

It’s like suddenly nothing is good enough. She is sad and demotivated and doesn’t want to do much at all.

We are in Scotland. So no school till August and even then it’s going to be very very part time by the sounds of things. I’m at a loss and I am so, so worried about her.

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goodthanks Sat 13-Jun-20 00:40:10

No words of wisdom but my DD is the same. It's heartbreaking. She's tried speaking to her pals on Zoom but with mixed success. Would yours like that? We did a socially distant rollerblade with her best pal last week, she loved it and it seemed to give her the spring back in her step. Could that work?

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 00:41:49

She does zoom chats from time to time. She’s quite shy but she seems to enjoy them. She loses interest quite quickly though.

We actually ran into her best friend the other day, while out on a walk. Just by chance. They didn’t play. They kind of waved but it was like they didn’t know what to do or what to say.

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Colom Sat 13-Jun-20 00:49:25

My four year old was similar last month. It's very hard to see. We live rurally (not U.K.) so besides her younger sister she hasn't seen a single other child in 10 weeks. Or anyone else.

I decided enough was enough and started easing her back into society. I started with taking her with me to the supermarket, kept her in the trolley so she wasn't touching anything. Then I began driving further than we should have so we could go for walks in busier areas. Had a couple of outside play dates with her cousins.

Breaking the rules yes but there comes a point when you weigh up what's more important and my child's wellbeing had been sacrificed enough.

pigoons Sat 13-Jun-20 00:54:57

OP - it's OK. Don't blame yourself. There's nothing else you could've done. If it's any consolation my 6 year has good days and bad days. When he sees his friends - at a distance - they don't talk or know what to do with each other. We both work too and the guilt is crippling - I feel like I do nothing well and I have no time for my 6 year old. Zoom sort of works one on one but it varies. I nearly broke the other week when I found out schools not going back

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 01:03:23

God I just feel like I can’t sit back and watch her decline. I just can’t

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whatacrazytime Sat 13-Jun-20 01:06:15

I felt like such a crap mum as well over these last few months. Have you through about going a social distance walk with one of her friends maybe even take a picnic? Obv both parties take your own food and remain apart but I think this would perk her up xx

popim Sat 13-Jun-20 01:07:40

My DD is the same and has completely lost all her confidence intone last few weeks. It's so difficult to watch, and breaks my heart. I've broken lockdown rules now and been having play dates as her MH is more important. She's back at nursery which is mixed horse after so long. Most of her friends aren't there so it's all different but I'm hoping it will help.

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 01:10:04

I think I’ll need to try and organise something for her.

I’ll maybe message her best friends mum tomorrow and see if she would be interested. I don’t know how she would take such a request - some people are rigid about the risks and some people aren’t. I have followed the rules but also feel like it’s getting to the stage now where my daughters mental well-being needs to be prioritised

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popim Sat 13-Jun-20 01:15:53

I think you need to pick your people with meet ups. Some of my friends are very anxious which is understandable so I tend to meet with those that are not adhering strictly at all which I'm not 100% comfortable with either. I've stuck to the rules up until recently but regret taking her out of nursery now as I'm not sure how quickly she'll bounce back. She's far more sensitive unlike my eldest who has just rolled with it but is older and able to entertain himself more.

pigoons Sat 13-Jun-20 01:16:05

We've tried socially distance walks - it didn't really work as I think the problem is the adults being around and they just want to play. It is difficult re meeting up - I tentatively asked a friend but they weren't keen - muttered about the difficulties of keeping social distancing so I just left it.

Colom Sat 13-Jun-20 01:16:29

If she's not willing to break to meet up she'll decline, no harm done. Most parents of young DC that I know have started to push the restriction limits, she is probably in a similar situation with her DD and might be delighted for the offer.

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 09:56:54

I messaged her this morning and she seemed quite receptive to it. So I’ll see if we can organise a wee walk next week or something (wet weekend here).

Lying in bed with her watching pj masks. We are both exhausted. It’s nice to just breathe.

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MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 12:18:15

Is a hamster a bad idea..?

OP’s posts: |
popim Sat 13-Jun-20 18:09:48 DD was talking about getting a pet today! Don't think it would make anything worse.

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 18:14:36

I thought it might give her a new focus. She loves animals but my husband thinks the 3 year old is too young

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Summercamping Sat 13-Jun-20 18:15:29

Not a hamster. Nocturnal, they'll sleep all day and keep you awake all night running in their damn wheel

Bitter experience.

Summercamping Sat 13-Jun-20 18:16:06

Guinea pig?

ThickFast Sat 13-Jun-20 18:19:22

Id message some more friends and try to arrange a socially distant meet up. I agree with hamsters. They’re nocturnal and just go round on their bloody wheel making a racket all night. What about a cat?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Sat 13-Jun-20 18:19:46

My child started getting like this so I took a call that we would break lockdown rules, for his wellbeing. We now see his cousins weekly, I took him to the supermarket with me today, and he is going to a friends house on monday.

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 18:22:58

House is tiny and cluttered - can’t add a cat to this chaos but we are planning to move to a bigger place at some point so I think we will get a cat then.

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user1972548274 Sat 13-Jun-20 18:23:01

You don't need to fill every second of her time with all this stuff. Maybe she's as exhausted and overloaded by it all as you are and just needs a break.

MrsCocoaJones8 Sat 13-Jun-20 18:23:33

She went to the supermarket with my husband today. Seemed to give her a wee boost actually.

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Polkadotdelight Sat 13-Jun-20 18:30:29

Definitely no to the hamster! Too small for the 3 year old to safely handle, nocturnal and potentially nippy. DS aged 5 has asked for a rabbit and I've said no to that too as I don't believe in lonely bunnies cooped up in runs that aren't big enough (so I'd be buying more than one and a huge, huge run knowing he'd lose interest quickly). Anyway, I know how you feel as I've been worrying about DS. We met up with his bestie this week, they didn't manage the distancing very well but I know the family have been adhering to the rules so it didn't feel such a risk. It did him the world of good. Another friend of his is coming to play in the garden this week - I'm not leaving 14 days between meet ups but I am doing a minimum of 7 as some sort of isolating (only because they forget to distance). Research is suggesting that kids are not superspreaders and the risks are low. I'm trying to safely reintroduce some fun back into his life.

Susanna85 Sat 13-Jun-20 18:32:06

OP my 5 year old was enjoying lockdown until two weeks ago when she became all over the place emotionally. Happy one min then very sad, angry, wanting to be alone, wanting constant cuddles. We decided this week to arrange lots. We have a walk with friends with kids (might take a football so they can play), picnic with our neighbour friend and a scooter ride with a school mate.
We can't go on isolating ourselves she needs the social activity. I'm hoping it helps.

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