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To ask if you agree

(19 Posts)
ohhmyy Fri 12-Jun-20 21:57:29

That if you love someone truly, you could never love another person?

I'm not talking parents/children/family etc.

I mean if you love you partner/husband/wife after you've "loved" an ex, you probably didn't love the ex in the first place?

Is love a one time thing?

OP’s posts: |
midgebabe Fri 12-Jun-20 22:00:14

Probably not

vodkaredbullgirl Fri 12-Jun-20 22:01:06

hmm

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Fri 12-Jun-20 22:01:21

Nope.

There are billions of people in the world. It would be pretty daft if there is only one person for each of us.

There is no such thing as love at first sight or soulmates/twin flames either.

FruHagen Fri 12-Jun-20 22:03:15

No, I don't agree at all. Love is an emotion that can overwhelm us but it's not supernatural in that it happens only once. It happens many many times over a lifetime, with both our partners and our parents and children.

It can serve us and also damage us.

HugeAckmansWife Fri 12-Jun-20 22:04:07

Nope. Absolute bollocks. People use the word 'love' like a magic talisman.. He treats me like shit but I love him,. I ve been divorced twice. I'm in a stable and happy relationship but I rarely use the word love.. Not because I don't have strong feelings but because it seems to put some kind of magic loop on a relationship. It's just a word

Curiosity101 Fri 12-Jun-20 22:04:30

I couldn't imagine love being a one time thing. Imagine losing your significant other and then never finding love ever again? That's a seriously depressing thought.

I definitely don't feel like loving someone else in the future would negate any love I'd felt for a previous partner.

ohhmyy Fri 12-Jun-20 22:05:11

Hmmmm I get that there's billions of people out there and that it's near impossible to meet your "one true love". But I guess you only compare to what you've experienced?

Surely if you deeply love you partner more than anything, then you can't have been in love previously?

OP’s posts: |
maybemaybeII Fri 12-Jun-20 22:06:18

No.

KellyHall Fri 12-Jun-20 22:07:37

I know I loved my first husband but my second husband is the absolute love of my life.

DurhamDurham Fri 12-Jun-20 22:08:02

I've loved a few different men at different stages in my life, it's entirely possible and probable. Why would you just have the capacity to love one person throughout your life? We're not living in a Barbara Cartland novel thankfully.

Curiosity101 Fri 12-Jun-20 22:10:04

Surely if you deeply love you partner more than anything, then you can't have been in love previously?

You can experience different types of love, different depths of love and others measures of love.

But that isn't the same as you not being in love before just because you're more in love now. Love isn't binary.

Would you think the same about loving your kids? Ie. if you have two then whichever one you love more is the only one you love? Cause you obviously can't have loved the the other one if you love this one more?

Ohtherewearethen Fri 12-Jun-20 22:12:46

Why do you think love is a finite thing? Love means different things to different people. It doesn't run out, you can't use up all your love on someone and then not have any left for someone else. Every relationship you have is unique. I love my parents equally but have different relationships with them. Same as my friends. I've been in love with two partners. Both were definitely love. Your theory is nonsense.

Hazelnutlatteplease Fri 12-Jun-20 22:13:44

I get it OP. I've had other relationships but in my life ive only really loved one person. We split spemt 10 years together and split again. Essentially whether i was with him or not i still loved him. The relationship is done for very good reason i won't be in a relationship with him again but actually my feelings haven't changed.

I'm meant to be in the throws of a new relationship now. But I know i need to end it. I dont need a new relationship and i dont think i want one. Not unless i fall head over heels again.

Much of our family is the same though. There's one person. Thats it.

HugeAckmansWife Fri 12-Jun-20 22:29:04

This is such crap. Life is messy and complicated. And I'm not saying that to justify affairs as it often is on here by the way. I was completely devastated by a relationship ending. For 6 months I was a mess. I was 15. It was 'love' at the time. My first marriage was to the person I should have spent my life with. My best friend. But I fucked it up because I got the fanny gallops for someone else who later did the same to me and he's now married to her. In all cases 'love' was involved.

threesmallcows Fri 12-Jun-20 22:39:12

No, in my experience that is not true.

BestOption Fri 12-Jun-20 22:39:33

No

MrsBobDylan Sat 13-Jun-20 08:56:56

I know this isn't what you are asking but I think some love is just dependency in disguise, so not love at all. Like being dependent on alcohol, you know it's destroying you but you feel powerless to stop.

When someone stays in a relationship with abuse and they allow their children to grow up in that environment, that's not love surely? That is some kind of fucked up co-dependency. I would also question how much they loved their kids too. If this offends anyone, then I grew up with this kind of 'love' and it didn't look, feel or behave like the love I've gone onto find as an adult.

lljkk Sat 13-Jun-20 08:59:24

yabvu. Why do you ask, OP?
I'm not speaking from my experience, but when you hear someone speak who was devastated by a loss but found a new life partner. The 2nd love doesn't invalidate the first.

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