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AIBU?

To think if you can keep your kids off school beyond September, you should?

273 replies

user8558 · 12/06/2020 11:13

Firstly I want to make absolutely clear that by "can" I mean people in similar circumstances to myself. I've no job anymore due to coronavirus, my industry will be one of the last to find its feet so I'm likely unemployed for the forseeable. Fortunately my partner is able to cover bills etc with his income.

I'm a bit wary of schools going back in August. For me it feels too soon.

However, I also know it's not soon enough for many other families. That working parents are struggling and for many other reasons kids are really missing school.

Am I being unreasonable then in thinking perhaps that people like myself, with nothing better to do anyway (and have the mental resources) are doing everyone else a favour by keeping our kids home to make life easier for teachers and other kids trying to manage in cramped schools? To make social distancing in the classroom easier for those who need and want to be there.

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Am I being unreasonable?

693 votes. Final results.

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JudithGrimes · 12/06/2020 11:15

Yeah cos fuck the kids education and mental wellbeing

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SarahTancredi · 12/06/2020 11:15

Why doesnt everyone just do what they feel is best.

Theres no vaccine or cure so tomorrow September or next april we wont be any better off. And kids need education.

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user8558 · 12/06/2020 11:17

Judithgrimes what are you talking about?

My kids are being educated, by me. What else do you think I'm doing all day?

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usernotfound0000 · 12/06/2020 11:18

No, I think education has suffered enough. My child is already back at school.

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Tiktokcringeydance · 12/06/2020 11:18

I think all the options are difficult for teachers.they might be safer being exposed to less children but then teachers will be under pressure to provide both face to face learning and remote learning which wont be simultaneous but will add to their workload.

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MsChanandlerBoing · 12/06/2020 11:19

For parents that can - like you - they should properly homeschool and not rely on teachers providing schoolwork.

You can’t say on the one hand that you’re doing the teachers and schools a favour but then adding to their workload by having to manage the education for children who should be in school but are being kept at home.

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PickleKing · 12/06/2020 11:19

My kids are being educated, by me. What else do you think I'm doing all day

How was anyone supposed to know that? We don't know you!

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Kittio · 12/06/2020 11:21

Kids that are old enough to not need childcare could be at home but they need a proper education and GCSES/A levels

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Starbuggy · 12/06/2020 11:23

I wouldn’t judge anyone who doesn’t send their DC back in September. People who can continue educating their children at home and feel its safer to do so can do what they think is best.

But I don’t think it’s fair to say they should keep their dc at home. Their kids are entitled to a state education, will probably be missing their friends, etc. And parents might have been managing juggling everything but also be desperate for it to end. School isn’t just childcare so parents can work.

Everyone has to make their own choice, but I think it’s unfair to say what other parents should or shouldn’t do in this situation.

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Quartz2208 · 12/06/2020 11:24

My Year 6 (who has been home educating pretty well between myself and her) went back this week and the difference in such a short space of time for her mental health has been amazing. She is much happier

That and the fact that at the moment teachers are doing a dual job face to face and remote

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user8558 · 12/06/2020 11:26

Pickleking I'm sorry - I thought it was obvious that I was educating them at home as I'm no longer working. I assumed that went without saying. I have tried to edit my original post to include that information for people intent on twisting my post for a bit of drama - but seems I can't do this on mums net.

Re the pp who said that parents should properly homeschool rather than relying on teachers work I think you're right. And my child is working ahead of the work that the teacher has given her at the moment.

I suppose I should have addressed my post to teachers also and asked if this is something they would support, what they would rather.

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Dinosauratemydaffodils · 12/06/2020 11:27

Nope. Ds will be going in August albeit part time. I'm a sahm and dh is working from home on his full salary so we are managing fine. He's learning lots, we're currently on a virtual tour of the Russian arctic but I can't provide interaction with his peers which he desperately needs. He has a younger sibling but their dynamic is totally different.

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user8558 · 12/06/2020 11:27

Well starbuggy that's why I said those that 'can'.

That 'can' includes every reason

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JudithGrimes · 12/06/2020 11:27

@user8558

Judithgrimes what are you talking about?

My kids are being educated, by me. What else do you think I'm doing all day?

Are you doing all the planning and preparation of the work? Making sure it ties in with the national curriculum etc?

Because if not expecting teachers to prepare two lots of learning is ridiculous.

Also being at home indefinitely for months on end is not good for the emotional well-being of a child.
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sirfredfredgeorge · 12/06/2020 11:29

My kids are being educated, by me. What else do you think I'm doing all day?

How are managing to provide peer socialisation, normally that's school, when homeschooling you have other groups etc. so if you keep them home make sure you find lots of peer socialisation - of course that means they might as well be at school.

If you're not doing any peer socialisation, please read up on the risks, for the 6 months they'll have been isolated, that would have had the same increased risk of death as if they'd caught coronavirus (both extremely low of course, but both things would have increased the risk the same amount)

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Tiktokcringeydance · 12/06/2020 11:29

Kids that are old enough to not need childcare could be at home but they need a proper education and GCSES/A levels
My teen DD was off with a cough before lockdown (before the instruction for the whole family to isolate) She is very conscientious and gets on with her work, and has been doing so throughout lockdown and organising her own timetable. But the first few weeks when I was at work she was pretty lonely and even now is missing friends. They do whatsapp each other to discuss work as well as catch up.

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JudithGrimes · 12/06/2020 11:31

And btw I speak as someone who has had to continue sending my dc to school from the start but I don’t think the children who haven’t been going should suffer just to make things easier for my dc.

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lazylinguist · 12/06/2020 11:31

Re the pp who said that parents should properly homeschool rather than relying on teachers work I think you're right.

Why? My year 10 dd is doing well continuing with the syllabus of her GCSE subjects by doing the excellent work set by her qualified subject specialist teachers. I am not working at the moment and am a teacher, but I can't imagine why as an MFL teacher I should ditch, for example, the chemistry teacher's work and teach the subject myself. Confused

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Harriett123 · 12/06/2020 11:33

My DSS (8) mental health is deteriorating.i hate seeing the happy bubbly boy crying because he misses his friends and hes lonely.were not able to be his parents, his teacher, his coach and his friends theres just not enough hours in the day he needs other kids and some structure to his life.
He is getting some sort of home learning but none of his parents or step parents are teachers so we cant provide him with the proper education he deserves.
I think that keeping kids like that at home if there suffering for it is unfair.
In my personal opinion a rotating learning system with kids even being in 2 days a week would have a huge impact in their mental health.

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lazylinguist · 12/06/2020 11:34

Also, if schools go back fully in September, I will send my dc back. Not because I'm worried about their mental health or education suffering without school (they are fine), but because if schools go back, then I think my dc should go back.

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Raaaa · 12/06/2020 11:35

I think if you want to keep your children off and homeschool them that's entirely up to you to weigh up benefits/risks etc. I wouldn't say you're being unreasonable.

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formerbabe · 12/06/2020 11:35

No. My dc don't go to school because I work (I don't). They go to school to be educated which is their right.

They've given up enough. I want them back asap.

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AlternativePerspective · 12/06/2020 11:36

It’s completely ridiculous to make those kinds of sweeping statements about what you think should happen in three months time.

There is still a lot of talk that COVID is gradually dying out. In Italy it has mutated to the point where it’s virtually gone now, there’s every chance that could happen across the globe.

If not then we could be in a second peak in which case the decisions will be made for people.

But tbh given the figures haven’t hugely escalated I’m inclined to believe the first possibility is more likely.

Added to which, September is the same amount of time as we’ve been in lockdown. An awful lot can happen in three months time.

While I can see these arguments being made about say, next week, talking about something which is meant to happen in three months time is stupid.

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Judashascomeintosomemoney · 12/06/2020 11:36

I understand your sentiment, and as someone in similar circumstances, I would do it but with the increasing numbers going back being the norm I would imagine that there could be no online work or support anymore from school. I’m certainly not up to teaching two lots of A levels, so even though we have all the resources etc (computers, reliable internet, space blah blah), my DDs are going to have to go back. Yr12 DD is going back next week. It’s only for three one hour lessons, one day per week. And that’s with only Yr 10 and 12 and a handful of key worker's children back in, so god knows what September will be like. Much less often I imagine, but with no online supported work, like we have now.

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user1494055864 · 12/06/2020 11:38

Probably fine if your children are 5 and 3, but for high school kids, home learning is simply not sustainable long term.

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