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Horse rider and her 'request'(561 Posts)
I need to know if im being unreasonable here in thinking that this lady was being deliberately awkward or something if its else. For contex, we are non white, they were white.
So My children (2 + 6) and I were having a great time exploring the woods when a horse box pulled in and two women unloaded their horses. Kids were naturally excited by this and wanted to get closer to see. I made sure we were a good distance away, at least 10 metres and we were up on the slope. The kids were watching the horses being unloaded for a few minutes. My son had a stick in his hands as he was ramble around and likes to do this. I made sure they were quite. The horses were quickly taken around the other side of the box to saddle up.
After a few minutes we decided to head down to the path and walk around the other side so they could see the horses more cleary and continue our walk. Again they were quite. We found a little bridge that was going the opposite way to where the horses were and my son wanted to explore that so we headed that way. We dissapeared from the womens view for around 5 mins and then i went back to bridge to wait for my son. At this point one of the women, in her 60's, walked over and said 'we are about to take the horses up here (a path that was no where near me and my chldren) can you just move on somewhere else. I said to her im sorry but we are here well away from you and your horses. She then said 'well cant you just move on because the sticks are scaring the horses'. Bear in mind there were no sticks in view at this point at all. As this was the second time she had said 'just move on' with a dismissive hand wave i was getting annoyed and said well were not doing anything to you or the horses. She then said 'well what ARE you doing here'. I said to her 'i dont need to tell you what im doing here, we are in the woods and free to go where we please'. She then looked like she was getting exasperated and huffed saying 'yes i know that but im asking you nicely if you can just move on until we move the horses up the road'.
Given that we were over a bridge and a good 20 metres away from the horses i think it had nothing to do with sticks. I feel she had an entitled attitude and like there was something else bothering her.
The irony is we have been around horses for many years so are aware of how to behave which is exactly why we kept our distance.
If i were alone this wouldnt have bothered me but my son heard and was then saying oh lets just go mum. I feel like she made him feel he shouldnt be there and that upset me.
So i need to know your thoughts, yes i am being unreasonable the lady was right in asking us to move on. No im not being unreasonable and she was out of line telling us to move on.
She sounds like a knob op.
It doesn't sounds like you WBU at all. She sounds like a right bitch.
Your not being unreasonable at all. The hand wave and dismissive attitude would have riled me up too. If there was a genuine issue she would have politely asked and given a better reason.
Could be lots of reason for her attitude. Some people think they own the countryside.
YANBU but I think I would have just moved on. I would assume she had a very nervous horse and no manners.
There have been a lot of reports about people behaving inconsiderately and dangerously near horses during lockdown. Some horses have died because they have been given food that is not suitable and other times gates have been left open and horses have strayed onto the road and been killed.
You say that you have been around horses and know how to behave but how was the rider to know you had that experience.? She may have had experiences with individuals who do not know how to behave around animals, horses especially.
I don't even understand what her issue is. Yes it might feel a little awkward being watched by kids but it's just that children are excited by animals and that should be expected. They weren't even watching when she approached you and you were already moving in a different direction. If she'd just carried on riding her high horse she would have been well away from you. She was being a dick best to forget her and move on.
I'm not sure what her age has to do with it.
Care to elaborate, OP?
I have a horse and ride, I would say she was rude and entitled. You were doing nothing wrong, you always get one like that, I have met a few in my time 😊 ignore and carry on with your day, I hope she didn’t ruin your day to much.
I’m also wondering about horses spooking etc. If one had freaked out and bolted/kicked it could get scary for your kids too. Though it doesn’t sound like she was very polite.
She sounds a right bitch. I have a horse on loan and will often stop for children to have a stroke whilst out hacking.
Is it possible that the woods are privately owned? Even if that's the case there is no need for the way she spoke to you. She is the type that give horsey people a bad name.
She was an arse but I would have moved and let her pass. Live and let live and all that.
She was rude and it's inexcusable. She needs to set a better example, us horse riders get enough bad treatment without people like her making others think we deserve it.
However I would tell your son to not hold sticks around horses. Most won't be bothered, but mine was beaten with whips before I got him. He does get nervous about a whip being held around him if it's not me or someone he knows with it, and to him, a stick is a whip. But I would have asked you politely to put it down and explained why, l don't expect people to realise. They don't know his history.
Horse riders can be rude just like anyone else. I doubt it had anything to do with you being non white though. Probably more to do with her previous (negative) experience with children around horses.
She had as much right to ask you to move as anybody does on public land. It'd be nice if she could have made it a request with a please and a thank you. 'Move on' is a very rude thing to say to someone unless they're on your own property and deliberately trespassing.
There are a very few “horsey” types who believe they rule the world. Years ago, one of them was riding near our house and shouted at my daughter to get off the trampoline in our garden! For these very rare individuals, they matter more than anyone else.You did nothing wrong and she was obnoxious.
I would suspect she’d either had a bad experience with her horse and small children or a very nervous horse. I was recently asked by a horse rider to stand still with my pram while she passed us because her horse was spooked by prams.
Or she could just have been a rude woman, it’s hard to say without being there.
She was in the wrong, and it is poor horsemanship to expect everyone to move out of your way in case your horse gets spooked, better to view things like this as an opportunity to teach your horse to cope in all scenarios. I often let children stroke my horse, as long asthey watched feet dont get trodden on.
She is a nervous rider who blames everything/everyone else for her anxieties. I know a woman who would behave just as you’ve said and feel totally justified because she is absolutely terrified of her horse reacting to anything and us trying to artificially manage the environment so she doesn’t need to blame her inept riding for her anxiety.
I got snot from a horse rider - turned out she was on a young horse for training - but how was I supposed to know that.
I suspect it could have been something similar here but they could be polite and ask you to please move, not treat you as if you are the arsey problem.
What's the thing they carry to hit the horses called then?
I am a horse rider and she sounds like an rude bitch! You were doing nothing wrong, OP, there are some nutters around. We have a rider near us that rides with her dog who is apparently terrified of other dogs, people and horses. So of course, it's a fantastic idea to bring him out with her on a popular riding/walking route and scream at everyone to stay away from her dog, one that she has no control over as he runs all over the place. This one sounds like a particularly snotty cow!
I’ve never met a horse rider who wasn’t an absolute hard faced cow. I’m sure there are lots of lovely ones, but I’ve yet to meet one.
She's in the wrong. End of.
I can't believe the people who think you were being unreasonable. You have as much right to be there as her and it sounds as if you were being very respectful
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