To not send a birthday card

[Franklbaum]

My parents and my brother didn't send me a card or anything for my 40th birthday. I don't know why, we all get on, it's a three hour drive so only see them every few months.
Their birthdays are coming up and I feel really pissed off about it still. I feel like not sending them a card. I probably will. I know you shouldn't give to receive but it was my 40th ffs. :(

[Elouera]

Do they normally send a card each year?

[Andahelterskelterroundmylittle]

I am 100 % with you . I know Mumsnet gives it all that "grow up , it's only birthday " shit ..but things like this are family events and little care and attentions make us feel loved . I wouldn't send a card to them.

[butterpuffed]

If you all get on , can't you ask them ?

[Elouera]

Happy birthday BTW way OP. I hope you had a special day as much as you could.

We made a big effort for BIL 's 40th years ago, driving 8hrs to get there, helping out etc etc. Come to DH's birthday- not even a card. Again, for their wedding, we made the effort. They couldn't attend due to having a baby, but again, not even a card!

[Franklbaum]

It feels wrong and rude to say where is my 40th birthday card and/or present. I know I am a grown up but I shouldn't have to ask.

[MatildaTheCat]

Was the occasion even acknowledged? If there was nothing then maybe the giftOr card is delayed or lost? My gift to my DM arrived several weeks late but of course I knew and apologised.

Ask them.

[Cadent]

No way would I send them cards let alone a present.

YANBU.

Happy Birthday @Franklbaum

[letmethinkaboutitfornow]

Well, you don’t sound in the spirit of greetings so I wouldn’t 😂

[letmethinkaboutitfornow]

And Happy 40th! 💐🎂

[Immigrantsong]

OP I agree and I am sorry they forgot your birthday. Happy birthday!

[Spied]

I'd be really upset.

Do they know how to use technology to order cards/presents?
Are they shielding?

[thethe]

Could it have gone missing in the post?

[Franklbaum]

It was before lockdown. No excuse for them not to send anything. I'm just really sad about it I suppose.

[GoodDogBellaBoo]

Don’t send any. If they ask just say you assumed you all have stopped celebrating each other’s birthdays.

[AlwaysCheddar]

As above. Don’t send one.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

Dint send one and if they raise it day you thought my they'd decided not to exchange cards song add you didn't get one for your birthday.

[Supermarketworker06]

I had this last year, for some reason my brother and dad never sent a card, my brother and his wife never messaged me on Facebook etc etc. Unusual behaviour as they always do. There's been a few major issues that have been ongoing for 12 years but throughout it all we've always sent cards.
I asked my dad if he'd stopped doing cards as it was my birthday and he'd missed it and got the reply "was it? Oh well never mind"

Fuck it, when it was their birthdays I didn't bother, funnily enough they did this year. My birthday is the first one in the family so if I don't get bothered with, I'm not bothering with them. Childish perhaps but not if you knew the backstory.

Op don't send anything, you'll feel so much better for it.

[Sparklesocks]

I’d be upset too. I have the type of relationship with my family where I could say ‘oi, what happened to my birthday card?’ but I appreciate this isn’t everyone’s dynamic. Totally understand why you’re hurt, especially for a milestone birthday.