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To not send a birthday card

(19 Posts)
Franklbaum Thu 11-Jun-20 19:10:23

My parents and my brother didn't send me a card or anything for my 40th birthday. I don't know why, we all get on, it's a three hour drive so only see them every few months.
Their birthdays are coming up and I feel really pissed off about it still. I feel like not sending them a card. I probably will. I know you shouldn't give to receive but it was my 40th ffs. sad

OP’s posts: |
Elouera Thu 11-Jun-20 19:12:16

Do they normally send a card each year?

Andahelterskelterroundmylittle Thu 11-Jun-20 19:13:50

I am 100 % with you . I know Mumsnet gives it all that "grow up , it's only birthday " shit ..but things like this are family events and little care and attentions make us feel loved . I wouldn't send a card to them.

butterpuffed Thu 11-Jun-20 19:14:03

If you all get on , can't you ask them ?

Elouera Thu 11-Jun-20 19:15:37

Happy birthday BTW way OP. I hope you had a special day as much as you could.

We made a big effort for BIL 's 40th years ago, driving 8hrs to get there, helping out etc etc. Come to DH's birthday- not even a card. Again, for their wedding, we made the effort. They couldn't attend due to having a baby, but again, not even a card!

Franklbaum Thu 11-Jun-20 19:17:03

It feels wrong and rude to say where is my 40th birthday card and/or present. I know I am a grown up but I shouldn't have to ask.

OP’s posts: |
MatildaTheCat Thu 11-Jun-20 19:22:42

Was the occasion even acknowledged? If there was nothing then maybe the giftOr card is delayed or lost? My gift to my DM arrived several weeks late but of course I knew and apologised.

Ask them.

Cadent Thu 11-Jun-20 19:22:49

No way would I send them cards let alone a present.

YANBU.

Happy Birthday @Franklbaum flowers cake

letmethinkaboutitfornow Thu 11-Jun-20 19:23:17

Well, you don’t sound in the spirit of greetings so I wouldn’t 😂

letmethinkaboutitfornow Thu 11-Jun-20 19:24:29

And Happy 40th! 💐🎂

Immigrantsong Thu 11-Jun-20 19:24:37

OP I agree and I am sorry they forgot your birthday. Happy birthday!cakeflowers

Spied Thu 11-Jun-20 19:27:02

I'd be really upset.

Do they know how to use technology to order cards/presents?
Are they shielding?

thethe Thu 11-Jun-20 19:27:09

Could it have gone missing in the post?

Franklbaum Thu 11-Jun-20 19:35:29

It was before lockdown. No excuse for them not to send anything. I'm just really sad about it I suppose.

OP’s posts: |
GoodDogBellaBoo Thu 11-Jun-20 19:39:54

Don’t send any. If they ask just say you assumed you all have stopped celebrating each other’s birthdays.

AlwaysCheddar Thu 11-Jun-20 19:44:07

As above. Don’t send one.

TimeIhadaNameChange Thu 11-Jun-20 19:48:47

Dint send one and if they raise it day you thought my they'd decided not to exchange cards song add you didn't get one for your birthday.

Supermarketworker06 Thu 11-Jun-20 20:06:31

I had this last year, for some reason my brother and dad never sent a card, my brother and his wife never messaged me on Facebook etc etc. Unusual behaviour as they always do. There's been a few major issues that have been ongoing for 12 years but throughout it all we've always sent cards.
I asked my dad if he'd stopped doing cards as it was my birthday and he'd missed it and got the reply "was it? Oh well never mind"

Fuck it, when it was their birthdays I didn't bother, funnily enough they did this year. My birthday is the first one in the family so if I don't get bothered with, I'm not bothering with them. Childish perhaps but not if you knew the backstory.

Op don't send anything, you'll feel so much better for it.

Sparklesocks Thu 11-Jun-20 20:29:26

I’d be upset too. I have the type of relationship with my family where I could say ‘oi, what happened to my birthday card?’ but I appreciate this isn’t everyone’s dynamic. Totally understand why you’re hurt, especially for a milestone birthday.

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