3 year old breaking toys

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

AIBU to not know how to deal with this?

As DS, 3 is getting bigger he is simply too rough with toys. This past month 3 or 4 quite large items have been broken. I thought after the first couple were put in the bin in front of him (cue huge sobbing fit, apologies etc, begging for us to fix it) that he would get the message but then more things seem to get broken almost daily. Eg forcing things into spaces that don't fit, climbing on toddler trampoline when sibling already on it, applying to much pressure until something cracks etc.

These are not poor quality cheap toys. They are solid heavy duty items. He is supervised but these things can happen in the blink of an eye. When I see rough play starting I remove the item but I still feel too many things are getting damaged, the message is not sinking in.

If he was an only child I would take the view (wasteful as it is :() that he would learn the hard way if every bloody toy gets broken and not replaced.

But this is not fair on DD. These are "general" shared toys, not special items belonging only to him. I also do not want this behaviour carrying over into preschool.

AIBU to need ideas on how to deal with this? He is just so destructive, I can't stand it.

[PowerslidePanda]

Is it feasible to ban him from playing with the shared toys until he learns to be more careful? That way, the only things that end up broken are his alone, and the shared toys suddenly becoming his sister's only might incentivise him too.

[LovingLola]

Why are you binning them? Mine kept playing with broken toys. He is also learning about cause and effect.

[Camomila]

Do you think its carelessness or him just not understanding/having poor motor control?

[ElephantGlove]

Eg forcing things into spaces that don't fit, climbing on toddler trampoline when sibling already on it, applying to much pressure until something cracks etc.

He needs more supervision and you need to pre-empt and step in when required. He's 3.

[avocadoze]

We put broken toys in the bin, and the dc learned to look after their things better. 3yo is very little though, so perhaps he needs more supervision.

[nedtherobbot]

It sounds like he might have problems with proprioceptive descrimination. He might not be able to help it. Does he have opportunity for big physical play at other times? Has it got worse recently with the need to stay at home? My 4 year has really struggled he needs almost constant proprioceptive input at home because his muscles aren't being used in the way they usually would walking to nursery, playing at the park etc. Without all this his descrimination on how much force is needed to do this is worse than usual and we have had more broken toys than usual. At the moment he wouldn't be able to help himself getting on a trampoline because he needs the sensation jumping gives him.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Loving lola

If he breaks a plastic toy and leaves a sharp edge it needs to go in the bin because it's not safe for him or DD. Same re small bits hanging off etc.

Powerslide
Think this is where I'm headed :(

Camomila: mix. 70% carelessness but 30% lack of understanding - seems to think DH and can magically fix anything, including something smashed to pieces.

Elephantglove:
I cant physically restrain him. I'm in a (small) room with him but with a crawling baby to chase after cannot always grab him and stop him (for example) jamming a figurine into part of another toy. It happens instantly. I am trying and will do more to supervise but I'm more worried that broken toys going in the bin is seeming to have no effect/ he doesn't seem able to perceive his own responsibility for causing the breakages.

Nedtherobot
Hmmm possibly. Has definitely got worse while off but I'm not sure its 100% this as sometimes he can be really careful? A lot of the breakages aren't due to brute force per se....they are sometimes due to misuse.

[endofthelinefinally]

Maybe go back to toys designed for slightly younger children until he has developed better skills and understanding? Some children just take a little longer to know their own strength and to grasp the concept of handling something appropriately.