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In my position would you relocate? and where do I go?

(26 Posts)
ellifjg Wed 10-Jun-20 19:15:22

I currently live in the South East. Own my own house, no mortgage. My children are both adults, still currently living at home. One does not work, and has no ties to local area. The other is older, working (currently furloughed) and has lots of friends locally so may not want to move, however is also saving for a property.
I work in London, but due to covid 19 we are now working from home until at least Spring 2021, and it's likely we may never go back to working in the office more than 1-2 days a month at most.

My ex partner lives in another (very lovely, great standard of living) part of the country; our plan was always that we would end up living up there. Later this year he was going to move from his current rented cottage and we'd jointly rent a larger property with a spare room so my children could visit, I could spend a couple of days a week there and it would be more like our home - and the goal was that in 2-3 years we'd buy somewhere up there, I'd move up fully with my kids if they wanted to come and I'd either sell or rent out my current home.

Obviously best laid plans etc and we've now split up. I don't like where I live, never have really and only stayed because it was near London, children were at local schools etc, but it was never where I planned to spend the rest of my life.

I don't have many friends, aside from local ones who are kind of fairweather friends really (we meet up once or twice a year, comment on social media, have a chat if we meet in the street but thats it) and 2 others who are in the Merseyside area. The area I know best outside London is where my Ex is but that's obviously a complete no.

I've always had a plan, for years now, and suddenly I don't, and I hate the thought of living here forever. My neighbours are deeply unpleasant and I have no privacy. I long for a detached house with a garden that isn't overlooked!

Should I go? And where do I go if so?

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1Morewineplease Wed 10-Jun-20 19:25:49

Yep! Go for it, it sounds like you’ve got nothing to lose but all to gain... nice house in a nicer area and an opportunity to start anew.
Good luck OP!

Frozenfan2019 Wed 10-Jun-20 19:38:07

Yes you should go. What would your budget be and what would you dream location be (i.e. countryside, city, beach) what do you love doing with your spare time?

ellifjg Wed 10-Jun-20 19:54:52

It's hard to say a location because for so many years I always thought I'd end up in Shropshire.

I've always lived within the M25; so I like the sea, and countryside, but I've never lived by the sea or in a village. I want a detached house, some land (half an acre would be nice), just not to have people all around as I do here. Budget would be up to 500k.

I'll admit it is quite scary thinking of moving to a completely new area; the last time I moved my children were babies and I could get to know other school mums, also work colleagues. Now I effectively won't be working in an office I don't know how I'll ever make friends!

I don't have hobbies really. I do parkruns, I like a quiz. Thats about it.

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GwenSaturn Wed 10-Jun-20 20:01:31

You'll need to visit an area several times before you decide to move there, which might be quite difficult in the current climate. But you could definitely start some research.

Write down exactly what you want - countryside, beach, reasonable links to London for work or value for money etc. Might also be worth having a Google for the nicest places to live in the country for inspiration. Watch the program, escape to the country!

In terms of meeting people, if you move to a village I'm sure it would be quite easy. Go to the local pub, introduce yourself. Join any clubs or groups. Are you vaguely religious? Churches are also good for meeting people. And get a dog! Walking a dog is a great way to meet people. You'd be fine!

Life is too short to be stuck somewhere you don't want to be.

Greenleavesawash Wed 10-Jun-20 20:04:09

That’s more hobbies than me OP! I’d not dismiss Merseyside- have you looked at Wirral? Very social and close to cities and attractions.

Frozenfan2019 Wed 10-Jun-20 20:18:52

If you need to be able to travel to London some days for work personally I would stay East. Lincolnshire and north Cambridgeshire have beautiful (albeit flat) countryside. I think further south would be out of price range for a house that size. You would have to compromise on the land. Or you could go further east to Norfolk/suffolk?

I agree with pp why not do online research now and plan some short trips to your top 3 possible places once it's allowed.

Frozenfan2019 Wed 10-Jun-20 20:22:53

Or Bedfordshire. I'm in Bedfordshire, the countryside here is lovely and it's very rural

Growingboys Wed 10-Jun-20 20:29:47

Somerset is lovely.

Lincolnshire is cheap but for a reason - it's insular and bloody cold with those winds.

Herefordshire lovely too.

I'd go for Somerset or Gloucestershire - the unfashionable bit near Thornbury/the Severn estuary that is proper countryside and lovely

Frozenfan2019 Wed 10-Jun-20 20:31:44

i think it does depend how far away from London you are prepared to be. Assume your kids settle in London or in one of the home counties, would you've happy to be far from them?

BasiliskStare Wed 10-Jun-20 20:32:00

My parents live by the sea - lovely sometimes - when it is cold and windy - not so much - the wind ( & I grew up there ) is deeply unpleasant - well it was for me - cycling to school - I agree with other posters do research - but but @ ellifgj - you like a quiz ? maybe village / town has a pub quiz - lots of towns & villages will have running clubs or similar - book / bridge club - if you are interested in a large garden there will be people interested in gardening. I would though agree with others - don't just do right move - go and visit and see if the place is congenial & yes look at commuting times to other places you may want to be

All very very best to you and I hope you find somewhere which suits you @ellifjg

ellifjg Wed 10-Jun-20 21:57:53

Some very good points thank you all.

I spent a lot of time around Crewkerne and Yeovil when much younger, and always liked Somerset. So that's a definite option.

I would have to be able to travel to one of our offices potentially, but coming up to London (or one of the other offices in the Midlands/ North) once a month would be doable from most places.

As things stand I think my youngest would move with me. The eldest might, or might not. However I think if I can stay within 3 hours of here that would be ok.

A reasonable sized village with a pub, a community feel...I guess that's the ideal really. Am going to start looking on Rightmove just to get some idea of areas and what my budget could buy me!

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Frozenfan2019 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:31:28

Yes type your budget and requirements in and see what you can see. It's very exciting really.

In my opinion new forest is the best of the best. Absolutely beautiful, not too far from the sea and not too far from London. It's expensive though

ineedto Wed 10-Jun-20 22:46:01

DH and I lived in Topsham near Exeter, lovely walks, seaside, countryside, local pubs and shops. Under 5 miles to Exeter city centre. London in just over 3grs.

DSis lives in Knutsford. Lovely array of shops, restaurants etc plus 30min to Manchester/45min to Merseyside and surrounded by beautiful countryside but moments from the motorway.

ArntNise Wed 10-Jun-20 23:09:03

Hi Northamptonshire is beautiful and only an hour from London on the train.


londonscalling Wed 10-Jun-20 23:22:26

You'd get a nice property in Norfolk for £500K. Lots of lovely villages and beaches. Not too far from London if you want to go back for a visit!

Wolfgirrl Wed 10-Jun-20 23:30:46

How exciting OP! Yes come to the South West! It's like a little oasis away from the rest of the country. Lots of seaside towns/villages to choose from, beautiful countryside, and also lots of weird local traditions that will keep you amused 😂😂 I would reccomend Wells if you havent already considered it.

Ellmau Wed 10-Jun-20 23:50:42

Peak District might be worth a look.

West Wiltshire is lovely too. What about this lovely house:

One thing I would say, if you're thinking rural and need to wfh, check local broadband speeds are up to scratch.

ellifjg Thu 11-Jun-20 11:11:51

broadband is a very good point, thank you for mentioning that!

I started looking at houses, and got a bit sidetracked by this one which is far bigger than I would need, and would be huge amounts of work, but still...

It's exactly the sort of thing I would show to my Ex and he would be hugely dismissive, tell me I was living in a dreamworld etc. Least I don't have to put up with that level of negativity any more!

Did also find a house with a pool! Isn't necessarily the country cottage/ chocolate box thing I was initially thinking of, but the garden is secluded, and a pool is something I've always fancied (even though I know they're v expensive and a massive ballache!)

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underneaththeash Thu 11-Jun-20 11:32:52

My brother moved to Winchester a couple of years ago and really likes that. It's near the coast too.

nattynoonoo821 Thu 11-Jun-20 11:36:24

Wirral. Tonnes of coast. Close to countryside half an hour to wales good transport links and some really lovely little villages! Look at heswall area.

Wantabub Thu 11-Jun-20 11:52:47

Between Portsmouth and Chichester? Its by the coast and loads of countryside. Little villages with community spirit. Also closer to London for your children and if you need to go into work?

SummerMeadows20 Thu 11-Jun-20 12:03:51

Norfolk. If you live not far from Norwich then it’s only a 1hr 50 min direct train journey to Liverpool st. Or 2.5 hours by car, for £500k you’d easily get a detached 4 bed house with 1/2 acre of land. Lots of beaches and the broads all close by and Norwich is a nice city.

dontgobaconmyheart Thu 11-Jun-20 12:39:20

We up and move all the time OP and as long as you manage expectations it's perfectly fine. You do have to accept you can't know much about what it is like living somewhere based on having visited and be ok with the expense and risk that you may not like it and might regret a number of things about the choice of location and home.

I think it would be very, very pertinent to take into account the fact that the 'community' feel is likely not to be something available to you in the current climate- if covid 19 does drag on as it seems it very well could- it will be very difficult to meet new people or access anything in a community where you know nobody, if we are looking at long term restrictions on these things nobody will be placing a new acquaintance in a bubble or wanting unnecessary contact.

Buying a house that needs work done also may pose issues, things have changed. Builders merchants are nowhere near as functioning as pre lockdown levels. We are renovating a home and they are struggling to get a lot of things and they are costing twice as much when they can. We are struggling to book in reliable tradesmen aa everyone has used lockdown to redecorate so they are booked up. We are stuck as we had committed pre-lockdown but I wouldn't voluntarily place myself in the situation this year with talk of a second wave etc, the first one isn't over even.

ellifjg Thu 11-Jun-20 15:14:11

Thing is, in reality I have no community here, no real friends - if I move and still have no one, I won't be much worse off other than financially. At least I might have somewhere nicer to live, less awful neighbours etc. My best friend was my Ex - so having friends didn't matter because we had each other sad Since the start of lockdown I've spoken to colleagues on work conference calls, my children - oh and an acquaintance I saw in the supermarket. I've seen no one else, spoken to no one else - I couldn't be much more on my own really!

Actually moving is going to be 6 months or so away at least by the time I got this place on the market and sold, who knows what might be going on by then? 3 months ago when I was first asked to work from home I didn't think I would never go back to working ft in an office!

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