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To think this is very cheeky - re home schooling

(277 Posts)
GlummyMcGlummerson Wed 10-Jun-20 18:49:20

My DB and SIL have had SIL's mum (lets call her Jean) living with them since April so that they could WFH whiles she looks after their 4yo and 6yo, as they're both in high pressure roles. Jean is 69 and has been retired from nursing for about 5 years and watched the kids 3 days a week before they began school.

However it seems it's all gone tits up today, SIL's mum has packed her bags and gone home after a disagreement with DB and SIL.
Apparently they aren't happy that she hasn't really been doing the home schooling stuff, despite forwarding her the teacher's emails every day. SIL said she would "sit on her phone in the living room while the kids watched TV."

They spoke to her today and said that it's very important the kids get their home work done and she needs to do the work with them. Long story short - Jean stropped off and went home. Now they're in a huge panic about it (the reason I know all this is that SIL rang and asked if I could spare a few days to look after the kids while they find a new solution, as I am furloughed).

AIBU to side with Jean on this one?
The poor woman worked her whole life, lost her husband in her 50's, when she did retire she went straight to doing childcare for free 3 days a week, went from retired solitude to suddenly living in a busy house with 2 energetic kids as a favour. They are 4 and 6, it's not like doing their GCSE's, DB and SIL seem to think that not doing cutting and sticking tasks assigned by the school will doom them to a life of stupidity. And, to me, when you ask such a huge favour you don't get to be picky about the details. If she wants to sit on her phone all day, as long as the children are distracted from bothering mummy and daddy then whats the problem?!

I said no to the childcare BTW. I have 2 of my own to look after and I can barely be bothered home schooling my 2 (it's also against the rulez innit)

OP’s posts: |
Standupthisisnotateaparty Wed 10-Jun-20 18:52:38

I’m with Jean. I’m glad she told the to jog on.

ECBC Wed 10-Jun-20 18:54:37

Well done Jean! They sound ungrateful and entitled. She’s not an employee

myself2020 Wed 10-Jun-20 18:54:55

To be fair, she should have said no from the start. You either look after the kids properly, or you don’t do if.
Saying yes, and then neglecting the kid is not on.

ECBC Wed 10-Jun-20 18:55:11

Also well done OP for saying no smile

iamkahleesi Wed 10-Jun-20 18:55:10

Well done Jean!!

Bluewater1 Wed 10-Jun-20 18:56:31

Well done Jean

mum2jakie Wed 10-Jun-20 18:56:40

She wasn't neglecting the kids, she was providing childcare! Serves them right for taking it for granted!

Thedogscollar Wed 10-Jun-20 18:56:52

Jean sounds like a bloody saint tbh. Your DB and SIL are being ridiculous as you said children are 4 and 6yo. I'm glad you swerved their request as well.

GlummyMcGlummerson Wed 10-Jun-20 18:57:16

You either look after the kids properly, or you don’t do if

But what constitutes "properly"? To me that is wiring they are safe, fed and watered and distracted from bothering their parents while they work upstairs.

OP’s posts: |
1Morewineplease Wed 10-Jun-20 18:58:01

SIL’s mum should not be homeschooling your brother’s children. She generously provided care for them while your brother and his wife carried on working full time, albeit from home.

It’s your brother’ and his wife’s duty to ensure that their children attend to their schooling. They have been very cheeky in assuming that this lovely lady should take over their responsibilities.

Maths, English and science has moved on in leaps and bounds since their ‘mum’ went to school. Maths in particular.

Your brother and his wife have taken advantage. They need to create a timetable between them to accommodate their children’s learning.

GlummyMcGlummerson Wed 10-Jun-20 18:58:20

Usually I'm keen to please and help but I thought, if they expect a 69yo to play teacher they'll be sorely disappointed with me! Fuck that shit.

OP’s posts: |
Suzanne12 Wed 10-Jun-20 18:58:45

It really depends just how much time she was sitting on her phone. Even if she's not teaching them, it's not good to pretty much ignore them all day and expect them to sit and watch tv. Surely it's not much different for the parents to just do that while they work. I don't think they're being unreasonable for expecting more than that but she's under no obligation to stay if she doesn't want to do it. Are your kids similar ages and are you nearby? I'd offer to help a bit if it was possible. It's about what's in the best interests of the kids.

choli Wed 10-Jun-20 18:59:34

Go Jean! The CFs won't find replacement childcare for free. They have definitely cut off their noses to spite their faces.

ECBC Wed 10-Jun-20 19:01:36

@myself2020myself2020 doesn’t sound like neglect to me, she sounds like a tired grandma who’s been taken advantage of. She’s there for childcare, if the parents want to homeschool they can do that.

LondonJax Wed 10-Jun-20 19:03:53

Well done Jean. Well the kids will most certainly be spending most of their time in front of the TV now so maybe the parents are 'neglectful'.

FizzyGreenWater Wed 10-Jun-20 19:04:06

Wow talk about biting the hand that feeds you grin

listsandbudgets Wed 10-Jun-20 19:04:18

Jean is not responsible for educating their children they are. It was kind enough of her as it was to move in and look after them.

Yes it would have been lovely if Jean has delivered the occasional lecture on adjectives, persuasive writing or multiplication but that is not why she was there..

Sort of the opposite of what we keep hearing teachers tell us " school is education not child care" "Jean is childcare not education"

ScubaSteven Wed 10-Jun-20 19:06:21

Firmly with you and Jean on this one, childcare is one thing but homeschooling a 4 and 6 year old??? Yeah they can jog on.

Plenty of people are in high pressure jobs and working from home, it doesn't give them the right to demand other people do as they want them to. They should have been grateful that the children were cared for. Good on Jean for leaving!

RandomMess Wed 10-Jun-20 19:07:54

Complete CFers!!!

I'm with Jean, yeah sure it would be great if she were doing "more" with them but after 10 weeks she will be as fed up as 99% of the rest of the parents with "home schooling".

The parents could have allowed and hour a day each to home school them like every other parent!!!

MrsTWH Wed 10-Jun-20 19:09:11

Your DB and SIL are BU. They’ll have to homeschool their own kids. What do they think the rest of the country have been doing?! We’re all working from home and schooling the kids. I’m sure they will cope.

Mummyshark2018 Wed 10-Jun-20 19:09:09

I'm with Jean. They're taking liberties and should be grateful they have anyone in these circumstances to provide childcare.

Porridgeoat Wed 10-Jun-20 19:09:48

I wouldn’t care about school work as surely all they need is a bit of reading at bedtime with parents. Much rather the children were hanging out, watching tv, baking and going for walks with granny.

mbosnz Wed 10-Jun-20 19:10:14

Oh dear, they've scored a bit of an own goal there, haven't they? Now no childcare, nor homeschooling. . .

Ohtherewearethen Wed 10-Jun-20 19:10:43

It appears as though they've come to view Jean as some sort of governess whom they are paying to look after and educate their children. It must be horrible to have such a huge favour thrown back in your face like that, and by your own family. I think they've forgotten what Jean was doing for them and got above themselves. I don't blame Jean one little bit. Let's see how they manage their high pressured jobs, looking after and homeschooling their children now.

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