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AIBU?

To think part-time working parents are vulnerable now?

42 replies

EffYouSeeKaye · 10/06/2020 17:09

If you rely on grandparents for free childcare while you work? Particularly in education / NHS and similar lower pay scale jobs.

Because for many of us, it’s just not worth the money by the time you’ve paid nursery or other childcare fees.

I’m worried about the impact being greater on working women in particular here. Is your career now in the balance because of Covid preventing you using your parents to help you out?

I realise I sound like a journo here - I’m not! I work in education and know of colleagues who can’t return in September for this reason.

YABU: My part-time career is unaffected by switching to paid childcare.

YANBU: I have decided to quit my job because of this issue.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

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RoseAndRose · 10/06/2020 17:20

You are very lucky to have had family provide childcare.

Having to pay is the normal situation. for many, many people. Welcome to our world.

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SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 10/06/2020 17:24

Yeah, im not sure i know anyone who relies on relatives for regular unpaid childcare, surely that's taking the piss a bit?

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Hugglespuffed · 10/06/2020 17:27

This is very common with my family members who live in a small town in Wales, hardly any of them use paid childcare! I imagine if childcare is needed and grandparents are that option then that is surely going to have to be ok soon?

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Monkeytapper · 10/06/2020 17:30

I work part time, receptionist, less that £10k a year and have always had to pay for childminders and wrap around care and no relatives to help out.

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hammeringinmyhead · 10/06/2020 17:33

I was headhunted for a new job in May, after losing mine, but was turned down because my start date was "When nursery reopens". Ordinarily our families would have helped out if nursery was unavailable. So yes. I am still unemployed.

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Starbuggy · 10/06/2020 17:40

A lot of people I know who use their parents for childcare will just do it anyway. Unless the grandparents are vulnerable, I don’t think it’s any more likely to spread coronavirus than nursery, probably less so because fewer households mixing.

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lanthanum · 10/06/2020 17:51

Plenty of grandparents helping out in our area, to judge from the number at our toddler group, and probably more doing after-school care for the school-aged kids (which isn't as exhausting as chasing round after toddlers in your 70s).
I think some grandparents who are not vulnerable beyond being in their 70s will return to helping, but I hope that none will feel pressurised into doing so.
Perhaps employers of both mothers and fathers will become more willing to employ people part-time, or with some working from home, so that parents can manage more of the childcare themselves.

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formerbabe · 10/06/2020 17:54

Confused what do you think people without free childcare do? You either don't work or you pay for childcare and end up earning very little.

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SnuggyBuggy · 10/06/2020 17:55

Amongst my friends I made on mat leave there are several who only went back to work because their parents offered at least some childcare.

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WorraLiberty · 10/06/2020 17:57

Surely this only applies to part-time single parents?

Otherwise they'll be splitting the cos of childcare with their DH/DP.

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EffYouSeeKaye · 10/06/2020 18:02

No, I don’t think it applies to single parents. If you earn £1,000 pcm and spend, day £800 pcm on childcare, you might decide there is no point and stay at home looking after the children yourself. Irrespective of your partner’s earnings.

I paid for childcare, btw. Not discussing myself here. Just wondering what the impact is on people who haven’t had to pay until now and the numbers just don’t stack up. I also don’t begrudge anyone who has had free childcare from their parents, assuming all parties were willing.

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Mostpeculiar · 10/06/2020 18:02

Up here in the north east the vast mast majority rely on free family childcare you’re the odd one out if you pay for 100% of your childcare

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Birkenshock · 10/06/2020 18:03

Single parent of 3 young Dc. Work 3 days a week. My childcare bill is over £1200 a month. Universal Credit pays a chunk of it anyway - which is what I imagine would happen to most other single parent/low earners etc. 85% of your childcare costs are covered. It's just life. I've never had family help.

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EffYouSeeKaye · 10/06/2020 18:03

*say £800, not day

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SnuggyBuggy · 10/06/2020 18:03

Most couples I know see it as a joint thing and make a decision based on the household income.

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WorraLiberty · 10/06/2020 18:05

Yes but if you weren't a single parent, that £800pcm would surely become £400?

Or even less if the couple does it on a percentage of earnings, which would be fairer if the other works full-time while the other one picks up the childcare outside of the nursery/childminder.

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Rover83 · 10/06/2020 18:05

All the people I know who were using Grandparents to help out with child care have been using Grandparents again since schools reopened. The only ones I know who arent its because the grandparents are shielding

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NoHardSell · 10/06/2020 18:06

Let's be more specific

Women. Mothers of young children in particular.

This is women's jobs. And yes, I think women in general will be badly affected by this coming depression (service sector, retail, catering) and those who rely on grandparents for childcare may well have that childcare removed/decide it is not a suitable option and give up work

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WorraLiberty · 10/06/2020 18:07

Yes but it's often about more than income Snuggy, it's also about that parent getting back into the workplace/staying in the workplace and then upping their hours when the kids are more independent.

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Smallsteps88 · 10/06/2020 18:07

Is your career now in the balance because of Covid preventing you using your parents to help you out?

Yes. I am SE and can’t work from home. I can’t go to work as I’ve no childcare. Normally my parents would provide out of school care but my dad is shielding so that’s not an option anymore. By the time September comes it will be almost 6 months since I’ve worked. I don’t know if I’ll have any clients to go back to. I’ve had some contacting me for weeks asking when I will be back. I’m trying to find a work from home job but I’ve zero experience in anything.

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Angelonia · 10/06/2020 18:08

I'm a part time working parent, but my DC are all at school. We pay for childcare (after school club) on my working days (3 days a week).

Were you thinking more of people with pre schoolers?

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SnuggyBuggy · 10/06/2020 18:09

Not all jobs are equally difficult to get back into or offer progression opportunities, I think this point tends to get lost. To be honest a lot of work is crap.

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Angelonia · 10/06/2020 18:10

At the moment my DC aren't back at school and I'm wfh, sorry if that wasn't clear.

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hammeringinmyhead · 10/06/2020 18:16

There are plenty of families who decide that adding £1k to the household income and immediately losing 80% of it, plus paying for petrol or public transport, plus covering (between you) those 2 weeks the child gets chicken pox or the 48 hours for d&v is not worth it until the child gets 30 free hours. It's not a decision we made but I don't think it's unreasonable.

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DreamingofSunshine · 10/06/2020 18:17

Not working but I was hoping to return to university in September (science subject so some lab work) but I was relying on the free funding and my parents doing an hour two days a week. I can't afford to pay for childcare and DS' nursery can't offer more space due to social distancing anyway.

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