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To not know if I was really abused? *trigger sexual abuse*

(8 Posts)
PrincessHoneysuckle Wed 10-Jun-20 16:27:12

Cant be bothered to name change.

When I was 14/15 I started hanging around with two girls from my school,one who I knew fairly well.They told me they knew this man that they'd been introduced to by some other kids who let them smoke cannabis and drink in his house.
For the following couple of years loads of us used to go round to "Darrens" he was in his late 40s and treat us as equals,taking us for rides in his car.I went round alone a few times and everything was ok until I was watching telly one time and saw something moving fast out of the corner of my eye.He was wanking.I froze and just kept looking at the screen until hed finished.Only a couple of people in my life know about this.I dont think about that time often and i dont think its affected me sexually i suppose i just wanted to write it here to see if anyone went through similar when young.

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sprite25 Wed 10-Jun-20 17:46:08

He was doing a sexual act in the presence of someone under the age of consent, I'd say that's a form of sexual abuse. You never know what he did in front of/to any of the others that went to his house. The fact you still think about it regardless of how often shows it had some sort of effect on you, there's lots of counselling services etc. Which you can access or even report him to the police?

PrincessHoneysuckle Wed 10-Jun-20 17:54:34

I know his full name and have googled it before

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joell75 Wed 10-Jun-20 18:30:20

I'd say it is. I had a similar experience. Walking to school as a 13 year old, a guy that lived up the street used to stand at his front door wanking (sort of shielded from the road, but visible as a pedestrian). Eventually I told my parents and they reported to the police. Fast forward five years and my workplace was burgled. The police arrived and he was one of them. They had let him join the police force.

Louise000000 Wed 10-Jun-20 20:59:54

I've had something similar when I was a about 12 and at swimming. I was going under the water with my goggles and a man was standing by the side but in the pool, and he was wanking under the water. So he knew me and my friend could see him with our goggles on
Creeps!!! confused again didn't affect me in anyway but very wrong and gross all the same and also illegal

NameChangeForThisOneToday Wed 10-Jun-20 21:02:19

Joell75 - 😱😲shock

NameChangeForThisOneToday Wed 10-Jun-20 21:07:25

When I was 14 I used to chat with homeless guys near my school. My friends and I used to buy them MacDonald's after school (sometimes during school!! Don't tell the teachers!!). We enjoyed the chats and conversation and thought we were doing good. Plus these guys were older than us, and we thought we were cool!! (Doh!) And one day I got flirting with this (I thought quite hot) homeless man. He ended up taking me to an ally and sexually assaulting me sad I have never said anything to anyone but it did screw with my mind!

The parents of 14 year olds need to keep the communication channels open. They need to stop these things happening. They need to help kids talk about what's going on.

You should never have been in that house with "Daren" OP. Who was there to help you and advise you?

PrincessHoneysuckle Wed 10-Jun-20 21:23:38

@NaneChangeForThisOneToday it seemed normal at the time it's hard to explain,its like he was our friend.I will always monitor ds friends and he whereabouts when hes older.My parents didnt have a clue.He convinced us that his neighbours were weird and spied on him when looking back they probably wondered wtf a middle aged man was doing letting kids in his house.

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