AIBU to ask for your help finding my 'thing'

[destinyawaits]

I feel like I have no real idea of what my ‘thing’ is in life. Or if having a ‘thing’ is really even a thing? Help!

Since leaving school, and especially more since becoming a parent, I feel like I don’t really understand my own character or identity. When I was younger I had quite a clear idea of what I wanted as a career, however after an underwhelming work experience of that industry I decided against following that path.

I have a degree in a fairly bland subject and have since gained professional qualifications in two different career roles (although both are in caring professions) but really feel a passion for neither.

I’ve recently completed one of these qualifications and have started to look for jobs in that field, but really don’t have the drive (or confidence, but that’s a whole other story) to commit wholeheartedly.

So back to my request, to those of you out there who have found your ‘thing’ and do something that you love to do, how did you discover your passion? Do you have any tips that might help me find mine?

Thanks in advance for any replies!

[Merryoldgoat]

Well. I do t expect my job to be my passion. I chose something I quite like, I’m good at and affords me the time, money and flexibility to live reasonably well and balance family life.

I use my free time to pursue my passions: theatre, dancing, various crafts, baking, TV and furniture restoring.

I think that if you find a career that’s your passion you’re really fortunate but for the majority of us it’s a means to an end.

[Merryoldgoat]

To answer your last question: just try stuff!

I went for an audition one day - acting for 10 years. Tried dancing - husband and I adored it. Bought and old table and watched YouTube for ideas on how to repair it.

What do you enjoy? I’m currently buried in crochet and I adore it.

[Merename]

I am doing a lot of wrangling with similar questions at the moment. Less about career though, quite like my job, retrained late twenties to what I wanted to do and it’s rewarding and I feel skilled at it. So I’d suggest exploring what you feel good at and what stimulates and excites you.

But I feel really unsure about my ‘things’ outside of work, especially since kids. I’m unsure if lots of previous ‘things’ are based on pleasing others and unsure what I really want. I took up running during lockdown and am really enjoying that, trying to explore an undernurtured side of myself, one that wants to be strong and attractive- generally I’ve been raised to think wishing to be attractive is vain and bad. Sorry that’s a bit of an overshare but I suppose trying to say that for me I’m trying to pick apart how other people’s ideas about what I should be have gotten in the way and be really honest about my true wishes.

[BertieBotts]

What is your guilty pleasure or what do you find yourself coming back to do again and again? Even if it's weird or embarrassing. In your spare time I mean. Any fascinations or addictions?

[BertieBotts]

What was your original career idea, because you likely have some skills or talent in that area, even if that particular application if it wasn't for you.

Did you have a best subject at school? Either one you enjoyed the most, or one you got good marks in or found easy. Did you go to any clubs as a child? What would you most often do for fun?

Are there any products or services have you used that you feel genuinely evangelical about - that you just love as a brand or company in general?

[destinyawaits]

Thanks all for your replies.

Sorry I don;t know how to reply with tags.

Merryoldgoat: I think because my partner has found a career which is his passion then I feel some pressure to do the same. I do enjoy baking and do that when I can (with varied results!), I'll take on board the advice to try some different stuff!

Merename: I definitely think there's an element of pleasing other people and having chosen 'safe' options which don't necessarily sit right with what I really want. I guess it might take a bit of time to try and figure out quite what that is. Good luck to you discovering yours!

BertieBotts: My original career plan was journalism (I decided to go for an English degree rather Journalism after the work experience) I used to write all the time when I was younger and still have an addiction to news (which is maybe not a great thing at the moment!)

[SerendipitySunshine]

Maybe write a baking blog and combine things you enjoy?

[sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea]

I don't think it's as straightforward as just finding your 'thing', it's usually more organic than that. To give you my example, I was told by an uncle that he found my facebook posts really funny, and that I should write more. Other people agreed, so I set up a blog. That came to the attention of a few other people, one of whom is now one of my closest friends. Via social media, he shared something that I immediately found interesting, and started looking up, which brought me into contact with someone else...
That someone else and I immediately got on, and he introduced me to his work, which I found fascinating. Several years later, he is now my DP, and I am regarded as an expert in our shared field.
It really does have to be something you find yourself passionate about, or able to be utterly absorbed in - whether that's writing, craft, baking, or doing research. What takes you out of yourself?

I agree with PP that something like a baking blog might be a good way to combine two things you enjoy - and see where that takes you.

[anothermansmother]

I found mine to be my faith, my thing is people. It was a comment made by my brother which made me realise, they all collect/ have a passion for cars, and someone asked him what does your sister collect and he answered people. I was a bit confused at the time so asked him about it later and he said you can go anywhere and talk to anyone and make life long friendships, without even realising you do it. I've never felt I fitted until then.
I'd always tried to fit into other people's ideas of things I liked but baking and socialising I love.
There are lots of things I love to do, embroidery, sewing and generally making things look nice especially my home, but I love being surrounded by friends.