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AIBU?

Has anyone truely come out the other side after suffering with severe depression?

52 replies

Snowcappedmountains · 09/06/2020 20:05

Posting here for traffic.

I am in a bad way, a really bad way. I've expressed this to two people that are meant to love and care for me the most but all they have done is get annoyed and frustrated with me. No offer of a hug and no understanding - I feel so unloved.

OP posts:
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emodi · 09/06/2020 20:10

I don’t have an answer to your question but just wanted to reach out to give you a big virtual hug . Hope you are getting the help you need .

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Isthisfinallyit · 09/06/2020 20:11

I'm sorry you feel this way. I was severely depressed and therapy was the only thing that cured me. You might feel unloved but you probably are loved all tge same. People generally are really bad at saying something helpful. It doesn't mean that they don't want the best for you, they're just too clumsy and unthinking.

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momamama · 09/06/2020 20:12

I have to be mindful of myself and watch for signs I'm having trouble to give myself some slack but yes, truly I have. I've been to some dark places I never wish anyone else to go to but yes I am as recovered as I ever will be. I can function in the world and enjoy my life and family again. Sending you a hug x

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Jingstohang · 09/06/2020 20:12

Yes, thanks to medication and therapy. Theres another side, keep going and find the help you need. People still dont understand mental health, but there is help out there.

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Snowcappedmountains · 09/06/2020 20:14

Thank you for all your responses, it's really appreciated.

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Haggisfish · 09/06/2020 20:15

Yes thanks to medication in both cases.

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AngryFeminist · 09/06/2020 20:15

So sorry and yes, there is another side. This will pass, and be as kind as you possibly can to yourself until it does.

Where are you at with the doctors at the moment? Do you have medication and how is it working for you? Any therapy on the horizon? What is your support network outside those 2 people?

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EmeraldShamrock · 09/06/2020 20:18

Yes. I'm not sure how a mix of medication and lucky breaks, everything before that was black sometimes grey. I look forward to sleep so much and hated to wake, I felt like I had another person on my back.
One morning the weight was gone, each day I started to feel better and mad little appearance changes too.
We are in dreadful times OP. The effect of this pandemic will pay a big part in your feelings. Have you saw a gp. I can understand the lack of hugs I'm a no hugs person till the virus fucks off.

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Wolfiefan · 09/06/2020 20:18

Yes. But I wouldn’t have done without meds and CBT.

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Cheesewiz · 09/06/2020 20:23

I'm sorry that they reacted that way. I have suffered from depression on and off for 18 years. I have really bad times where I don't think I can go on and it does pass, which I try and keep telling myself when things are bad. Finding the right medication really helped, are you able to contact your doctor tomorrow?

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hoochymamgu · 09/06/2020 20:35

Yep, medication, lots of therapy and loads of time, plus ditching my job and deciding to look after myself.
You will get there Snow Thanks

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bridgetreilly · 09/06/2020 20:43

Yes. I had severe clinical depression about 10 years ago for a couple of years. Medication and some therapy helped dramatically. I came off the drugs for a while, then back on them, then came off again 2 years ago. Am currently fine, though lockdown is hard and I am monitoring my mental health carefully.

People don't always understand mental health problems and I'm sorry that you've experienced that. But in any case, your family can't be the ones you expect to solve this for you (though it's much better if they can at least support you). You need professional help. Talk to your GP as soon as possible.

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AlohaMolly · 09/06/2020 20:46

Yes, no medication in my case. It took two years to feel nearly normal and another year on and most of the time I can forget it is there. Like someone else said, I have to watch myself, but can spot the signs and know when something might trigger a spiral and can manage it pretty well.

For context, I had a 6 mknth old and was planning and visualising suicide, took out life insurance etc. I thought I’d never feel anything but despair again.

But I do, I feel it all. I’m sorry the people you told didn’t react helpfully but I promise you, you are loved. You are loved, you are wanted, you are valuable and you are needed.

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Shoeoholic · 09/06/2020 21:45

Yes I did. My GP told me it was one of the worse cases he had seen.

A mixture of medication, exercise and support from GP got me through, although it took time. I always remember asking everyday am I going to get better? Will I ever feel better? I hung on to some vague belief that it would.

I have thought back to this time as to how I would have dealt with it in the Pandemic and it would have been so much harder to get support. I think people generally are struggling their own battles too, so maybe don’t have anything left to offer support. If you haven’t already I’d recommend contacting your GP- they should be able to do a remote consultation for mental health and see what they advise.

Please believe though no matter how bad you feel- you can and will feel better.

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Nottherealslimshady · 09/06/2020 22:08

Just here to offer solidarity. I'm also in a really bad place. Have been for over 10 years but something always stops me killing myself.
I'm waiting to start councelling after lockdown.
Are you on medication or in councelling?

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Thisbastardcomputer · 09/06/2020 22:17

Yes, it took an awful long time but I'm back to the person I was before my breakdown in 2008. I'm less of a people pleaser now, in fact I actively avoid most people.

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Scout2016 · 09/06/2020 22:22

Yes. Medication and later counselling twice. Repeated bouts over the years but with decreasing severity as I learnt ways of coping, sought help earlier each time and my thinking and life choices shifted. At the lowest points I would have gone under without antidepressants. I think of them like how you'd have a crutch to help with a broken leg. Just makes things more manageable to get you on a baseline where you can function and try to get well. I still worry it will come back one day. Clinical rather than reactive depression. It has hit hard when on paper everything is perfect, and, then times when everything has been objectively really shit I have sailed through.

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FulfilledRemit · 09/06/2020 22:24

I did. Was very very depressed for many years (from 18 til 25 ish). It gradually lifted, largely on its own I think but I had therapy and did a lot of soul searching too. Also stopped abusing drink/drugs which I used to stop feeling anything. Still have down days but nothing in the same league as how I felt 10+ years ago.

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FulfilledRemit · 09/06/2020 22:26

Should also say that I tried pretty much all the medication going - was under psychiatric services for 6 or 7 years - but it never did much for me. Doesn't mean it doesn't work for others, though.

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Scout2016 · 09/06/2020 22:34

I would say please seek professional help. As for others, those who haven't experienced it often just don't really get it and truth is being close to someone suffering depression is hard. Doesn't mean they don't care. And your thinking might be a bit skewed at the moment so try not to over analyse or dwell on their responses.

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ConkerGame · 09/06/2020 22:35

Yes I have. CBT did it for me, and then I changed lots of things about my life - job, house, relationship. My friends were brilliant but my parents didn’t understand and wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. I was too scared to tell my siblings, I’m still not sure how much they know about it.

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CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 10/06/2020 23:31

Yes, I was very depressed from teens to early 30s, suicidal ideation etc.

Basically I deeply hated myself. With the help of a very skilled therapist, no meds, I learned to finally accept myself as maybe not do bad after all.

I still get a bit down from time to time but nothing like those paralyzing depressions when I felt completely cut off from the world for days and weeks on end. Like a glass pane was separating me from everyone else around me.

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0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 10/06/2020 23:33

I have seen people completely come back. People you would never imagine recovering. It absolutely can be done.

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Pleasegodgotosleep · 11/06/2020 00:14

Yes, medication and CBT. Good luck Flowers

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480Widdio · 11/06/2020 00:24

I have had two bouts of Clinical Depression,20 years apart.

I felt horrendous both times,even had a home visit from a Psychiatrist the first time.

Mine went both times with medication,now if I feel the slightest bit down I go back on the anti-depressants.My GP told me never wait to see how bad I get,always start medication as soon as possible,he also told me virtually everyone recovers.

One thing the Psychiatrist asked me was do I count numbers,thought it was an odd question,but I do I like everything in groups of 3!

I have been fine now for the past 11years,felt bad the first week of lockdown but it went.

I wish you well,depression is the worst thing to have.

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