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To just not trust what people look like on social media anymore?

(14 Posts)
BobbyBlueHat Tue 09-Jun-20 08:19:20

I'm fat.

Haven't seen a friend in over a year.
On her profile pics she looks size 10/12. I thought she's lost so much weight since I last saw her, all new and recent photos.

She dyed her own hair in lockdown, pics of that. Pics of tan in the garden from the few weeks of sun.

I saw her yesterday.

She must be a 16/18.

What is it? Angles? Filters? how do I do that?!!

AIBU to just stop feeling shit about myself ffor being fat when it seems people just aren't who they are online??

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BobbyBlueHat Tue 09-Jun-20 08:20:32

I mentioned the hair dye and tan as to show they are genuine and recent photos of her, she just looks so slim in them (not full body pics but selfies)

OP’s posts: |
MaidenMotherCrone Tue 09-Jun-20 08:22:01

We live in a fake, filtered, fucked up world unfortunately.

Slothsarecreepy Tue 09-Jun-20 08:22:53

She probably takes the selfies from above, at an angle. Makes everyone look slimmer.

tombliboo1 Tue 09-Jun-20 08:24:32

Yep unfortunately it's all filters and angles. Some people are so heavily filtered that they look like an entirely different person in real life. Sad really.

BobbyBlueHat Tue 09-Jun-20 08:26:57

Hats off to her for being able to do it!

I'm not criticising her at all.

I'm judging myself for seeing her pics and feeling so down about myself because I haven't lost weight /don't look that good etc...

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OkMaybeNot Tue 09-Jun-20 08:28:00

Angles and filters. Also, there are apps that manipulate a your full-body photo into being many sizes slimmer than reality.

I'm guilty of this to a small degree. I have a relatively slim face compared to my body (which is NOT slim!) and never post full-body pictures blush I'm sure people think the same about me when they see me in real life.

I'm dreading the school run after this lockdown lemme tell you.

FineWordsForAPorcupine Tue 09-Jun-20 08:28:57

The trick is to stop thinking about someone's online persona as a direct and faithful representation of reality (how boring would that be??) and think about it more like interacting with a character they've created in a video game. It's fun and creative and not real.

Definitely don't compare your body (or your life, home, family, hobbies, artistic skill, or anything else) with what you see online - any more than you would watch a video game and get sad that you aren't a ninja/dragon mage/warrior princess. It's not real and (forgive me) if you're a rational adult I don't know why you'd fall for it.

Everyone curates their online image to a greater or lesser extent. Don't get butt hurt about it being somehow "cheating" to use filters or only post good looking pictures (cheating who? Out of what??) and don't grump that your life doesn't look as good as someone else's. Everyone knows that the online world is not always a faithful representation of reality. Don't they?

ScrapThatThen Tue 09-Jun-20 08:28:59

I mean I hate those celebrity mag or online paparazzi pictures, but isn't it fascinating when you see a completely normal looking teen or woman and realise it's actually a celeb you normally see only filtered, styled and highly made up. I mean they must get to the point where they can't risk leaving the house because their public image is so filtered and fake.

wksh182 Tue 09-Jun-20 08:30:26

I have a large friend who if you looked at her Facebook page you would have no idea she was overweight. But then why would you want to put photos up of yourself looking large? I get why people don't to be honest.

DogBowlSpaghetti Tue 09-Jun-20 08:30:43


My BIL’s new girlfriend has some awesome camera tricks. She’s easily a 16/18 with a good few stone that she could healthily lose. She looks like a 6/8 on her photos. I really don’t understand her motive. It’s obvious to anyone who knows her that she doesn’t look like that.

Littlebyerockerboo Tue 09-Jun-20 08:33:36

I rarely take photos of myself these days as I don't use SM anymore, but back when I did, I was great with angles etc, now there's filters, things built into your camera to make images appear brighter, smaller, face changing apps - all kinds.
I get a shock when my camera comes up forward facing and there's the true image of me, double chins, lines and skin pigmentation- if I was going to take a photo of all to see, I would 100% be angling and likely filtering it too.
Ive bypassed all this by coming off SM a couple of years ago grin its lovely, and nobody know what a monstrosityI look like unless they see me in person.
I also worked with a girl recently who filtered everything so heavily you wouldn't know her from the same girl if you passed her on the street.
I find it quite sad really, she was only 21

Isadora2007 Tue 09-Jun-20 08:35:08

Be glad you’re not trying to date via online apps or sites! 😂
Seriously though, maybe you just need to stop falling into the trap that makes you believe that looks and appearance are all that important. You say you “feel shit about yourself for being fat” but why? What purpose is feeling shit about yourself going to serve? Probably it will make you do the things that make you more fat and not do thing that might help you to make healthier choices?
Being overweight is a bit like a side effect- if you don’t want to have it Then stop what causes it. But don’t make it a focus- you are not your fat- you are you and what makes you you is your views and actions and beliefs and opinions etc. Yes your body is an aspect of you- but it can change and if you WANT it to then you can... but be kind to yourself. And others- they’re probably insecure and believe their looks are very important too.
But filters etc are just weird- especially when people put obviously filtered photos of their kids. (Not the bunny ear type but the smoothed skin and girlified eyes etc) WTF?!?

rainkeepsfallingdown Tue 09-Jun-20 08:36:01

Anyone can look fatter/thinner in a selfie without editing the photo or using a filter. It's all about the right angle.

Try it yourself - if you hold your phone low, it will see 5 double chins. If you angle it high, all the chins disappear. Play around with your posture. It all makes a difference.

It's harder to mislead with a full length shot and no photo editing, but not impossible.

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