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AIBU about H's wealthy, irresponsible friends?

(7 Posts)
Ireolu Mon 08-Jun-20 23:40:44

How is it your fault he can't live this life?
Comparison gets us nowhere.
I wouldn't be happy with these weekends away getting wasted. Post DD I value sleep above all else.

Chocolatefreak Mon 08-Jun-20 23:34:05

@Experimenopause Yes, I'm annoyed because my H is attracted to this unobtainable lifestyle! He also occasionally, in arguments, insinuates it's my fault for not earning enough so he can enjoy a more luxurious lifestyle. But my question is really, am I being unreasonable that he wants to go away and enjoy himself like this, and not feel guilty that I don't get to do the equivalent?

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Experimenopause Mon 08-Jun-20 23:16:04

It’s not your H’s friend’s OP. You have a DH problem. If his habits are getting your family into debt or even taking money away from family needs, this is financial abuse.

Chocolatefreak Mon 08-Jun-20 23:11:09

@MissConductUS he doesn't need these relationships for his work, he works in a completely different field. He met the first guy actually through me, our sons are friends from school. They are genuine friends, but when the whole bunch get together it is just this laddish entitled behaviour, maybe forgivable with younger unattached men but these all have families. I think it's partly an attempt to regain lost youth, but it's the way my husband looks up to these wealthy guys like they've made it that sickens me...and then starts buying ridiculously expensive bottles of alcohol, joining them in clubs where the drinks are unbelievably expensive etc and there is never enough money for us to live without debt.

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MissConductUS Mon 08-Jun-20 22:58:45

Does he need to maintain these relationships to support his own career or business? If not, it sounds completely self destructive.

66redballons Mon 08-Jun-20 22:55:47

Of course not, this sounds intolerable, selfish pricks.

Chocolatefreak Mon 08-Jun-20 22:46:14

My husband has recently become friends with a group of extremely wealthy businessmen. They are all in their mid to late 40's, including my husband. One of them, the wealthiest, has a private jet and subsidises wild weekends for them about four times a year. Each time, they just drink loads, take drugs, party like they're in their 20s. The one closest to my husband has just dumped his wife and started seeing a much younger woman. The richest one behaves like an arsehole; spoilt, entitled, rude. I'm afraid my husband idolises their financial achievements, envies their lifestyle and is resentful about the fact that he can't throw money around like they can. He comes home from these weekends exhausted, massively hungover/coming down and broke. I earn less than half my husband's salary and I never have enough money to go on wild weekends like this. Having said that, I wouldn't be averse to having some fun, just not with this crowd, they make me sick! I partied heavily when I was younger, I want to do different things now! AIBU to want my husband to limit his trips away, so I can have weekends away doing what I want sometimes, too, even though I don't have wealthy friends to subsidise me?

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