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About PIL food hygiene?

(207 Posts)
Billyjoearmstrong Mon 08-Jun-20 13:50:17

Another argument with Dh regarding his parents and food hygiene.

They basically don’t have any.

MIL will cook huge pots of food to last five days - chicken stews, pasta sauce with meat etc and leave them on the hob all that time, heating them up everyday to take a portion and then leaving it to cool down. Or she’ll cook a big lasagne and the same thing - leave it in the oven for days until it’s finished. I can’t drink a cup of tea at their house - I always thought it tasted a bit odd when I first me them and then I realised that they don’t keep milk in the fridge, they keep it on the worktop.

When they come to stay she will always bring something she’s cooked - really nice of her but it will be some sort of meat which she will have cooked days before and it will have just been left on the side in her kitchen.

FIL just dropped a roast chicken at the door merrily saying they cooked two on Friday and didn’t need it. This chicken won’t have seen a fridge - it will have been sat on the work top or in the oven since cooked.

Dh has had a go at me because I won’t let the kids have any for dinner this evening. I don’t want them getting ill.

We moved across the country to where they live just before lockdown so it’s not been a problem yet, but when they are allowed the kids over I know they will feed them and I’m so uncomfortable with the lack of food hygiene they have - it was easier being so far away as they would visit every 6 weeks and I just wouldn’t give the children any of the cooked food they brought with them.

Dh won’t listen as it’s been like that his whole life, his argument is that he’s never had a stomach bug from it so it’s

It just makes me feel so ill thinking about it. The arguments me and Dh have about me putting food in the fridge is unreal, he doesn’t see the harm.

OP’s posts: |
LunaMuffinTop Mon 08-Jun-20 13:53:24

YANBU that’s disgusting can’t believe your DH thinks it’s ok to eat food that’s been sitting on the side envy not envy.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 08-Jun-20 13:53:47

MIL will cook huge pots of food to last five days - chicken stews, pasta sauce with meat etc and leave them on the hob all that time, heating them up everyday to take a portion and then leaving it to cool down. Or she’ll cook a big lasagne and the same thing - leave it in the oven for days until it’s finished.

Fucking hell. I got queasy just reading that. I am in no way paranoid about food, but that is a massive step too far. I would try to find a way to educate your husband about food safety.

Billyjoearmstrong Mon 08-Jun-20 13:55:58

He’s been eating like that his whole life - he knows no different. When we first moved in together he was aghast that I would cook a big chicken curry for a couple of nights and portion it up to put in the fridge or to freeze if it was going to be more than two or three days. He couldn’t believe I wouldn’t just leave it on the hob to heat up and cook down!

OP’s posts: |
Soubriquet Mon 08-Jun-20 13:57:12

I’m no stickler for food hygiene

In fact I used to leave cooked chicken out over night to eat the next day, but it was one day.

The idea of leaving it for several days has me envy

And surely heating, cooling, reheating, cooling and reheating again is a paradise for salmonella?

Westiegirl3 Mon 08-Jun-20 13:58:31

MIL will cook huge pots of food to last five days - chicken stews, pasta sauce with meat etc and leave them on the hob all that time, heating them up everyday to take a portion and then leaving it to cool down. Or she’ll cook a big lasagne and the same thing - leave it in the oven for days until it’s finished.

You can't be serious, that is seriously dangerous... how are they not ill? I mange a hotel and if this happened in the food industry the kitchen would be shut down confused

ajandjjmum Mon 08-Jun-20 13:59:08

I remember MIL kindly making a huge chocolate cake for us to take home, when we visited once - years ago. DH cut the first slice, and found a huge clump of cat hair. We rarely ate there again! grin

Sounds grim Billy - shame you moved closer!

billy1966 Mon 08-Jun-20 13:59:53

Holy Cow!🤢

Don't blame you OP.
Is your husband a bit dim?

Just because you grow up with something done a certain way, does not mean you are incapable of forming a separate opinion.


Fluffycloudland77 Mon 08-Jun-20 14:00:11

That’s beyond grim. I wouldn’t inflict that on a child.

Irishprincess Mon 08-Jun-20 14:00:10

Just no, look up some hygiene standards information and tell him that although he was brought up like that it's not worth the risk to the DC. I'm really not overly fussy but if I make a big batch of something I'll portion it and put it Tupperware in the fridge. Reheating food again and again is really bad

TheMandalorian Mon 08-Jun-20 14:00:26

Oh gosh. This will be difficult to address because clearly they are not getting ill from it, and so won't get your reasoning. I dont really know what to suggest. Other than moving away again. Especially if your dh is not on board.

Ponoka7 Mon 08-Jun-20 14:00:27

My Mother had the same habits and I was constantly ill as a child. I ended up obese because I'd eat junk and out of the chippy.

I've found that people who live like that, won't be persuaded not to. Just put your foot down over what your children eat.

ScarfLadysBag Mon 08-Jun-20 14:04:01

Yikes, I expected to roll my eyes a bit as I'm not really paranoid or particularly worried about some food stuff that others on MN get excited about, but this is rotten so you are not being unreasonable and I wouldn't eat anything they'd made either, and certainly wouldn't have my children doing so.

Five days of stuff sitting at room temperature and being constantly heated and cooled down is a recipe for disaster! Some people are more prone to upset stomachs and stuff too - just because his parents seem fairly robust doesn't mean everyone is.

Billyjoearmstrong Mon 08-Jun-20 14:04:01

@Westiegirl3 I know! When I first met them I couldn’t believe it.

Dh tries to pull this shit all the time. He’ll cook a bolognese sauce, enough for two days and leave the pot on the stove. One day I can let slide for the sake of an argument (although I do mostly sneak the pan into the fridge when it’s cooled), but I think it’s vile.

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ChilliCheese123 Mon 08-Jun-20 14:04:54

Omg I thought mil’s finger licking and obsession with using one manky cloth for a week at a time was bad, this is awful. I’d spell it out to dp that he can eat what he wants but you and the kids won’t be

SwedishK Mon 08-Jun-20 14:08:40

My MIL is the same although perhaps not quite so bad. She would cook say bolognese on the Friday night and then have us over for lunch on Sunday and we would eat that same bolognese. I would always get an upset stomach from eating her food and it was only after a few years I found out that she doesn't refrigerate it at all between the Friday and Sunday. It just sits in the pot on top of her hob.

We have since moved further away from her and she doesn't have space for us to stay so I have been spared her cooking since then. I also stopped eating meat so that helps too.

Billyjoearmstrong Mon 08-Jun-20 14:08:56

@billy1966 he’s a mummy’s boy. His mum can do no wrong in his eyes and her way is they best.

But I cannot stand poor food hygiene. I was brought up totally the other way.

I just don’t know how to address the children being fed while there when the time comes. My 17 year old, not sure how much he’ll be there really but my 6 year old absolutely adores her grandparents and is so looking forward to going there for sleepovers etc.

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InspectorCludo Mon 08-Jun-20 14:13:32

You know there’s a term for this?
“Survivor bias” when you survive something dangerous so don’t understand the true danger.
That’s why he doesn’t understand how dangerous it is, because he’s never been sick.

I do sympathise. My in laws eat out of date food and therefore serve out of date food. They just can’t bear to throw it away. Thank god for lockdown, we haven’t had to eat there for months. My only consolation is that DH completely agrees and we both vet what the food is before consuming.

Is there some sort of basic food hygiene video you can show your DH so he is hearing it from someone else? He may think your being precious as he’s been brought up around it.

Soubriquet Mon 08-Jun-20 14:17:37

Would give stupid examples of what happened years ago be a good analogy or would he continue to bury his head in the sand and say “it’s not the same!”

For example, years ago, many people didn’t wear seatbelts and they survived.
Well...most of them

Years ago, everyone smoked everywhere and they survived
Well...most of them

You get the idea

CelestialSpanking Mon 08-Jun-20 14:20:55

God that’s foul. Do they never get ill from from what they eat?

hippobump Mon 08-Jun-20 14:22:30

Unless she lives in the North Pole and her hob is as cold as a fridge then that is just gross.

I wouldn't touch anything from her and wouldn't let my children either. Tell your DH to do an online food hygiene course.

Billyjoearmstrong Mon 08-Jun-20 14:24:28

@CelestialSpanking never apparently.

They cook a lot with Passata, FIL is really into health (yes, I know!) and he thinks that the more time’s that passata is heated up, the more anti oxidants come out of the tomatoes it making it better for you. He thinks by day 5 it’s the elixir of the gods. You can’t make this shit up.

Dh honestly doesn’t see the problem as long as the food is heated properly before eating.

OP’s posts: |
Suzie6789 Mon 08-Jun-20 14:25:07

Good grief, how are they still alive? It’s absolutely disgusting to do this. Why can’t they just put it in the fridge?

Billyjoearmstrong Mon 08-Jun-20 14:26:39

I made a fish pie when they came over once - way too big to finish and mil said, let’s have it for lunch the next day.

When I was putting it in the fridge, she said “oh don’t bother with that, leave it in the oven for tomorrow”. Fucking fish and prawns!

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Iseeareddoor Mon 08-Jun-20 14:28:00

This reminded me of the student who died after eating pasta that he had left out at room temperature for 5 days.

I wouldn’t be happy with my 6 year old eating over there at all.

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