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AIBU to say I'm not excited about lockdown ending?

(19 Posts)
hellolilacs Mon 08-Jun-20 07:58:08

I am wondering if I am alone in this...

I must firstly say, from a economical point of view (ie businesses and facilities being reopened) I would be in support of lockdown ending at the right time. In my mind, the health of the population is a priority and I'd hope to see an improvement in rates before lockdown is over.

However, from a social point of view, I'm not looking forward to it being over?! I can honestly say I'm not desperate to see friends and family. Those who I would miss I feel I have spoken to more than ever over FaceTime etc.... occasionally I have thought "I wouldn't mind meeting up with X for a coffee" but that's as far as it goes.

My DP and I have had a very challenging few years and as such have stepped away from being very sociable to "heal" however it's not always felt that other have necessarily understood this so when lockdown came it felt like a bit of a gift... we didn't have to explain or excuse ourselves for why we didn't want to go to events. We are both much happier spending time with our dog and going on long country walks.

I worry that there will be a surge of events being planned post lockdown and there will be even less understanding shown to those of us who can't/don't want to go along because it's going to be expected that everyone should want to do all the social things to make up for the last few months.

Am I alone in feeling this way?!

OP’s posts: |
Railingsohno Mon 08-Jun-20 08:00:51

No you’re not alone.flowers What would happen if you say no to these events?

Drivingdownthe101 Mon 08-Jun-20 08:01:22

There have been loads of threads saying the same so no, you’re not alone.
I for one can’t wait to have my mum in my house, to see my best friend properly who is going through a really tough time, and for my children to be able to see the friends they miss so much.
But then I don’t have any problem saying no to things I don’t want to attend anyway.

Dozer Mon 08-Jun-20 08:02:18

It’s not ending: schools still closed, childcare closed, no UK wide travel, not meant to visit friends/family in their homes.

Dozer Mon 08-Jun-20 08:03:05

Many health services closed.

EnlightenedOwl Mon 08-Jun-20 08:03:48

Unfortunately its a long way from "ending"
I do understand your perspective and where you are coming from but currently its like suspended animation. Its just not sustainable, tenable or palatable to carry on as we are

hellolilacs Mon 08-Jun-20 08:07:23

Sorry I think I probably didn't word it correctly as I know it isn't ending. DP was in the tier 3 shielding category anyway (though was told last week to stop shielding now) so we do know that for us at least normality won't return for sometime....

However i can honestly say that the thought of all the social events we used to go along to (often because we felt obliged rather than wanting to) makes me feel really uncomfortable. I think this probably says more about my anxiety than I had considered before but I was wondering if I was alone in this, thanks to those for assuring me that we aren't.

OP’s posts: |
LuluJakey1 Mon 08-Jun-20 08:08:49

I have missed going to the local cinema with my best friend or DH and tea and cake treats in a cafe. Apart from that I have missed nothing. We now see PIL who live 10 mins walk away. It's been lovely to have this time with just us but economically the country needs to move on. I doubt many lessons have been learned though about how we live-the government, people and businesses will go back to the same ways.

BlusteryLake Mon 08-Jun-20 08:09:04

Sounds like you need to learn to say no to things you don't want to do, without the crutch of everyone being forced into lockdown.

mychemicalromance80 Mon 08-Jun-20 08:10:30

I think worse is yet to come!

OscarWildesCat Mon 08-Jun-20 08:11:16

YANBU I feel the same, I’m beginning to think I’m a bit socially awkward as I feel like you, I went to things because I thought I should rather than wanted to. I’m not really missing anyone, people I don’t normally catch up with socially on a regular basis are doing the whole, we need a night out when this is over, and I’m thinking, no thanks 🤷🏼‍♀️

hellolilacs Mon 08-Jun-20 08:11:50

@blusterylake you are not wrong!b

OP’s posts: |
RedskyAtnight Mon 08-Jun-20 08:23:30

You do know socialising is not mandatory?

I have plenty of friends who frequently say "I don't feel like" or "not really my thing" when invited to social occasions. They are not any less my friends.

I love my family but recognise I like them better if I see them infrequently. So that's what I do. Again, I don't feel obliged to see them just because I'm asked.

Dozer Mon 08-Jun-20 08:25:56

Yes, it sounds like you weren’t enjoying your social life and had difficulties declining invitations to things you didn’t want to attend.

Railingsohno Mon 08-Jun-20 08:29:34

Could you take this time to think about the bits (if any) you do enjoy and why? Maybe you could talk to your husband and get some strategies in place for saying no to these invites?

Nevertouchakoala Mon 08-Jun-20 08:33:42

You’re not unreasonable in how you feel you just have to be strong and say no. Accept that maybe you’ll loose friends over always saying no but if you don’t want to meet them then how close do you really want to be with them anyway?

userxx Mon 08-Jun-20 08:43:17

Christ I can't wait for it to be over, it's definitely put a strain on my relationship. The last few weekends of socialising with friends has been heaven.

Just say no, if socialising isn't for you, it's not compulsory, be careful not to cut yourself of from everyone though, you may need these people more than you think at some point.

hellolilacs Mon 08-Jun-20 08:43:29

@RedskyAtnight I know I know! Although if you spoke to some of our friends and family you would wonder. We have had tears and people accuse us of not making an effort (family) when were going through a terrible time in our lives and just wanted to grieve together.

OP’s posts: |
userxx Mon 08-Jun-20 08:48:42

* We have had tears and people accuse us of not making an effort (family) when were going through a terrible time in our lives and just wanted to grieve together.*

They sound quite high maintenance, surely they knew you needed time out?

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