To not want to sponsor for this cause?

[sallagadoola]

Prepared to get flamed here, as I can’t work out if I’m being a complete cow or totally reasonable!
Also name changed as details could be outing.
So I have a few friends who’s kids go to a local drama school.
It’s a warehouse type setting which is owned by a lady who runs drama/singing/dancing classes.
Maybe not relevant but the classes aren’t particularly cheap as I’ve looked into it for my kids.
The business seems to do very well and puts on yearly shows with a hundred or so kids involved (only know this as I took my kids to watch a show there one year)
Anyway back to the point. They’ve decided that their air con system needs updating and are asking for £15,000 in donations.
They’ve asked all the kids to raise money. Some are doing sponsored silences, sponsored walks, 12 hour singathons etc.
It’s been all over my Instagram asking for donations and I’ve quietly avoided the posts.
However now on a group chat, 2 of them have asked why I’ve not sponsored their kids.
If I’m being honest I don’t think donating money for air conditioning for the benefit of kids attending an hour class a week is very worthy.
My kids attend karate, dancing, badminton classes etc and not a single one of those venues has air conditioning and it doesn’t bother the kids in the slightest.
I feel like the owner of drama business is a CF and should either stick some fans in the drama studio or open a window.
Do I tell my friends the reason why I don’t want to donate, or just plead poverty (half true with reduced hours due to coronavirus)

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

How about “I have very limited money for charitable giving so I only donate to registered charities as then Mr Taxman has to give his share through gift aid too.”

[formerbabe]

They asked you? How rude. I'd probably plead poverty to shut that down and to keep the peace.

[iklboo]

Why can't she get a business loan - or cheaper air con? It's a bit of a 'want' than a 'must have' isn't it?

Tell the cadgers you can't spare any cash at the moment and if you sponsored them you'd have to sponsor them all to be fair. Which you can't afford.

[LightDrizzle]

YANBU!
Your first respondent’s suggested reply is really good.

[sallagadoola]

I like the idea of saying I only donate to charity. For what it’s worth I do donate to other causes, the local food bank for example.

[PineappleSmoothie]

That's a private business, not a charity.

They can pay for their own amenities in their own business premises.

Cheeky fuckers indeed.

Tell your friends that.

[june2007]

I wouldn,t donate.

[CalmdownJanet]

Just say it like you have here "It's not about sponsoring the kids at all, to be honest I think it's a bit cheeky of the business owner sticking the responsibility on kids to upgrade her business so I'll stick with charities"

But to be honest I'd probably just say "Stick me down for £2, I'll fix you up when I see you" to one and "I already sponsored x" to the other, but that's just because I don't think I could be arsed getting into my reasons with them

[sallagadoola]

I’m surprised by how many people have donated if I’m honest. The 3 children I know of have raised almost £2000, which made me doubt myself re not donating!!!

[sallagadoola]

Just looked properly and it’s actually 6 kids that have raised almost £2000. Didn’t realise that one sponsorship link was for a group of 4 kids doing a singalong. But still!

[Thehogfatherstolemycurry]

I would not donate and I would not exain myself either. I'd probably say something like "no I've not contributed, I have no intention of doing so you can stop asking now"

[Lsquiggles]

I wouldn't donate for a businesses air conditioning, that's so cheeky and I'd be saying so

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I wouldn't donate. And I'd be happy to say, I don't sponsor anyone for anything, I'm afraid. I have certain charities that are close to me that I'm prepared to support and that's it.

That would be if pushed. I'd be happy to ignore why haven't you sponsored our kids? because I think it's fucking rude to post that. And my first temptation is to post back because I don't want to.

[Coffeecak3]

My dd went to drama classes. The woman in charge was a cf of the highest order. She would ask us to sew costumes for a show and we still had to pay for dc to wear them and then give them back to stock.
I wouldn’t give. Your dc don’t even attend the classes.

[Dontbeme]

Why would anyone give money to a private business to improve their assets and not want a return on their investment?

Tell them you have already sponsored another child and can't afford to sponsor any others. Either that or ask for the charity number of the business if you want to stir a bit.

[sallagadoola]

Well I’m glad that I’m not being a cow.
The 2 parents on the group chat said that people should donate because the drama school is “great with the kids”
My kids primary school is great with kids too but doesn’t ask for £15,000 for air con!

[Jaxhog]

I'm with you Op. Pretty cheeky really, but perhaps the other parents use the facilities a lot more -and have money to burn-.

[RB68]

Do they not just rent the premises?? Why are they installing aircon? I am with others they don't do these things for free or cost its a profit making enterprise. Its not like the couts or run by volunteers etc

[diddl]

It's not really a cause, is it?

I suppose as long as though who sponsor know what it's for & it's all above board?

But you don't have to be part of it.

Had no idea that a business could just raise money for itself!

[sallagadoola]

I think on gofundme you can raise money for whatever you like!

[TheRattleBag]

We have a similarly cheeky local theatre/dance "academy."

Asking for donations for new seats in the auditorium, but charge for absolutely everything.

Our singing group provided backing vocals on one of their productions, had to provide our own costumes and give up a week of evenings, and didn't even get so much as a thank you. Each evening one of us took it in turns to buy us all a drink (from their licensed bar) as we didn't even have water provided.

Definite CFery!

[TinyPigeon]

Is it ok? Why do they need aircon?!

[TinyPigeon]

*UK

[sallagadoola]

Yeah uk.
God knows why they need air con for the 4 weeks a year it’s above 20 degrees? I think they always had aircon, but now it needs upgrading at a cost of £15,000.

[OrchidJewel]

Absolutely no way I'd support that. It's her shagging business. I can't believe parents are that dumb. Is it a case of little Johnny and Mary are great for raising money.

Again I'd be in the 'i have my own charities I support, this is not a charity, good luck with the fund raising'. Same with the local drama society that had to stop their play 2 nights early due to lockdown. They made 30k and the fawning and the god love yous on FB drove me mad. Meanwhile no funds for my son's SN charity or other wonderful charities