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To be a little worried about my five year old

(163 Posts)
HannahBanana87 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:01:06

She’s five and a half. Oh I know she’s only little and she is who she is. She is wonderful. She is kind and funny and affectionate and my best little pal in the whole world.

She is in P1 and one of the youngest in her class. She has made some friends at school but she’s very “young” compared to a lot of the girls in her class. Loves Paw Patrol, dolls, that sort of thing. The girls in her class are all into LOL dolls, zoom chats and drawing (DD enjoys drawing but her attention span is very short).

The latest thing is that we are trying to teach her to ride her bike without stabilisers. It’s a nightmare. She’s too frightened of falling off. The minute I let go of the bike her feet come down and she wobbles to a stop. Three full days at it and no improvement shown.

In the meantime kids a good year or two younger than her are cycling past her. Then we met a boy in her class who said “my bike is much bigger and I’ve been riding without my stabilisers for ages”. DD is too young and naive to feel any shame about it, thank goodness.

I know she’ll get it when she’s ready and I have no intention of trying to make her something she’s not. At the same time I don’t want her to be left behind. I don’t want her to be made fun of for being the baby.

Her three year old sister demonstrates a great deal more courage and independence than she does.

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BalanchineBallet Sun 07-Jun-20 17:14:58

I think as you say, she will get there. Comparison is the thief of joy and although she’s too young now, she will soon pick it up off you if you’re not careful.

My 6 year old still plays dolls and teddies daily. I don’t think that’s unusual.

FuzzyPenguin Sun 07-Jun-20 17:21:12

Agree try not to worry about it they all get there in the end. My DS6 doesn’t even ride a bike yet with stabilisers he struggles to get the bike going to gives up before he even starts. He has only just mastered the scooter during the lockdown.
It’s only in the last few months he has given up his paw patrol toys and he still loves a sneaky episode of pepper pig. He has a ton of friends who actually seem to love the chance to play with his “younger toys” when they come round.

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe Sun 07-Jun-20 17:22:33

She’s only a wee lassie.
How sad that the others in her class are already revolving their lives around the internet with it’ll be that they get TikTok or Instagram or God forbid Facebook!
As for the bike...she’ll do it when she’s ready and not before, just keep encouraging her.

Alanna1 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:24:30

Have you tried tying a scarf around her upper chest so she has you to help her balance? If you google / you tube it you’ll probably find some examples. I found it helped my two now strapping girls get the hang of the balance / pedal / confidence thing.

HannahBanana87 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:24:57

Oh listen I’m really really careful not to compare her or shame her and all I do is encourage her and praise her. I’m incredibly proud of her. She’s so clever and bright and happy.

I think it’s because her class at school is very small - only nine girls - and she is so clearly younger than them I guess it just worries me that she’ll have a hard time.

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Wearywithteens Sun 07-Jun-20 17:26:29

My beautiful dd19 is still a little girl in many ways. She was a summer born and always was more child-like than her peers. My dd15 never learned to ride a bike for the same reasons your daughter doesn’t like it. Don’t force it. Don’t worry about it.

BlueBooby Sun 07-Jun-20 17:26:30

She sounds like my DD, who is a similar age and also one of the youngest in her yeargroup. I don't worry about it. She is very happy.

Then we met a boy in her class who said “my bike is much bigger and I’ve been riding without my stabilisers for ages”. DD is too young and naive to feel any shame about it, thank goodness.

We had a near identical version of this happen to us with a girl in dd class, and my dd also is too young and naive to feel embarrassed, which I am grateful for.

HannahBanana87 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:26:37

Alanna I hadn’t heard of this. I’ll definitely look that up. Thanks

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GreenTulips Sun 07-Jun-20 17:27:34

With the bike - have a look and see if her arms are ridged on the handles - this is usually why they can’t balance.

For everything else little girls grow at different rates and she’s probably no different in her interests to the others.

She’ll get there.

JustC Sun 07-Jun-20 17:27:46

I struggle as well with comparing my kid with others as it feels he is always a bit behind. He gets there .....just a a bit later than others. He is turning 7 in a couple of days, and has just learned during lockdown to ride without the stabilizers. I think he might be a bit adhd and a bit anxious, he struggle to focus sometimes, a bit fidgety, talks alot and he doesn't take failure very well. Clever, but does not want to apply to anything he doesn't really like. Lots of patience is the only advice I have. We have chosen so far not to have him tested for adhd, as all the symptoms are just a tad, if it makes sense. we might readress in the future.

mrsmalcolmreynolds Sun 07-Jun-20 17:28:34

She sounds lovely, maybe at the younger end of behaviour for her age in some ways but that's no bad thing and I think you should be careful to value her for who she is.

FWIW my DD only learned to ride without stabilizers aged 8, which was after DS who is 3y8m younger and could ride his bike not long after turning 4. She now zooms around, she just takes longer to get comfortable with things than her little brother.

Stuckforthefourthtime Sun 07-Jun-20 17:28:59

I know a lot of girls 10 and older who play with dolls, but just don't tell others - same with 8 year old boys and Sylvanian families and so much more. My 7 and 8 year old claim total disdain for 'babyish' things but have been known to spend ages playing with their younger siblings' Duplo or watching a bit of dragon riders etc. I think it's lovely you're letting her like things for longer, it makes me sad to see so many parents pushing their DC's to grow up faster than needed.

Soonbechrimbo Sun 07-Jun-20 17:31:02

Aw at 5 she is still a baby really. I don't think paw patrol vs zoom calls are a bad thing either
She will get there when she's ready wit the bike riding, mine did it at 7.5 and 6.5. She sounds perfectly lovely OP, don't worry xx

switswoo81 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:31:35

My dd is also 5 since Feb. She hasn't even started school yet . She's very like your daughter and would quite happily sit and watch Peppa with her little sister.
She plays "moms and dads" with her dolls and doesn't know what an lol doll. She does like Disney princesses.
Keep persevering with the bike that will crack soon.

Namechange3007 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:31:49

My son is almost 9. He only learnt to ride his bike properly this year and still secretly likes paw patrol. 5 is so little! She sounds great xx

Soonbechrimbo Sun 07-Jun-20 17:32:23

Oh and my 8 year old still loves her dolls and I think will for a while longer yet smile

Namechange3007 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:32:47

So much pressure for them to grow up. My kids have always been quite young for their ages and I think it's good.

sleepyhead Sun 07-Jun-20 17:33:28

Ds1 didn't manage to ride a bike until he was 10. Ds2 got rid of his stabilisers age 4.

Ds1 could read independently by the end of p1. Ds2 needed intensive support and is still reading at a p1 level going into p3.

I try not to compare them to each other or their peers - they both have their strengths and struggles. But I know it's hard not to worry, especially if you think they'll be singled out. Working on their self esteem is always worth it.

HannahBanana87 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:33:43

Her and me are very close. She would be by my side 24/7 (and pretty much is right now). She’s happy not going to school because it means she can be with me (which is lovely - but I worry about the social aspect a lot). She’s bright as a button - her reading in particular is excellent and she’s diligent with her school work. But she loves to be “babied” - if I didn’t force her sometimes she would do nothing for herself.

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JustC Sun 07-Jun-20 17:33:51

Oh, with the bike, her saddle might be a bit to low, it makes for weird balance. Also, what they play with varies from child to child, not every kid is into the latest fad.

HannahBanana87 Sun 07-Jun-20 17:35:57

I don't think paw patrol vs zoom calls are a bad thing either

I actually agree with this. Again though my concern is that all these wee girls in her class are chatting away, keeping in touch on Zoom, and DD is getting left behind. It’s important that she maintains the friendships she has made I think.

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vinoandbrie Sun 07-Jun-20 17:37:41

My younger DD is in year one and doesn’t know what LOL dolls are. She plays with her teddies and dolls house. We taught her to ride a bike but it took days and days and days of me holding on to the back of it and getting bruised shins from the pedals (we are probably as clumsy as each other!) I tried telling myself that it was like potty training, and just something that had to be gone through!

Please don’t worry, your DD sounds a perfectly sweet and normal five year old in every way! I have another DD as well, and like yours they are very different children.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 07-Jun-20 17:38:50

There is nothing whatsoever to worry about your daughter given what you've written.
One of my dds could ride a bike at 3, the other at 6, same opportunities; they're both wonderful girls, but totally different.
What Ive discovered with bike riding, is it's a lot to do with opportunities. If your parents get you a balance bike at 2, if you have the space in the house to zoom it round, you're gonna be riding a bike at 3, should that float your boat. If you don't have a balance bike, nor space to practice, then you're not. It's as simple as that.
The only 'problem' in your op is the unkindness of the boy who spoke to her. That's the only thing that merits worrying about for his parents.

Karenista Sun 07-Jun-20 17:41:01

All sounds normal to me. My 6 year old has only just learned to ride a bike and it took her weeks. She also loves watching CBeebies with her 3 year old sister. Enjoy how little she is, it won’t be forever sad

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