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I'm so frustrated about gaslighting people who deny white privilege

(75 Posts)
Moomin8 Sun 07-Jun-20 11:17:11

Please, someone tell me what to say to people who are so dismissive of racism.

'Nobody is really racist, we are all the same'

'The protesters are the real problem'

'Racism isn't a problem any more' etc

I'm so angry when I hear this. I can't pretend to understand what it's like to be marginalised because of your race but I can see it's a real problem and it's not getting any better,

What do you say to refute people who don't want to change their shitty opinions?

OP’s posts: |
Destroyedpeople Sun 07-Jun-20 11:19:34

Not sure that having a shitty opinion is 'gaslighting' though. What do you mean by

echt Sun 07-Jun-20 11:20:10

You can't argue with stupid. Unfortunately.

slipperywhensparticus Sun 07-Jun-20 11:21:40

If you dont see it then it isnt there I have a broken toe that can attest to that

VettiyaIruken Sun 07-Jun-20 11:23:53

There's nothing you can say. They won't change their minds.
It is the epitome of white privilege really, to have the luxury of believing that racism is not an issue these days.

Moomin8 Sun 07-Jun-20 11:24:02

It's gaslighting because it is telling people who experience racism that it didn't happen.

OP’s posts: |
OoohTheStatsDontLie Sun 07-Jun-20 11:30:58

I am not sure some people are worth arguing with (strangers on the internet etc). But if it was someone I knew...I'd probably point them in the direction of statistics that show if you're an ethnic minority you're less likely to be called in for an interview (eg studies show identical CVs sent out with traditional English names and traditional minority names), less likely to be promoted, more likely to be stopped and searched / arrested etc, found guilty, get a longer sentence for the same crime etc, take more visits to the doctor before they get referred for the same symptoms etc etc. If people don't believe facts then I have no hope that they will ever accept a different viewpoint to their own

Moomin8 Sun 07-Jun-20 11:31:42

Unfortunately it's someone I know 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP’s posts: |
june2007 Sun 07-Jun-20 11:35:02

I won,t deny that happens but what I have seen this wk. A lot of ignorant and offensive comments aimed at different groups of society on here this last wk. I think the events have bought out the best and worst of people.

roarfeckingroar Sun 07-Jun-20 11:53:31

I'm so bored of hearing about white privilege like it's a shiny new thing everyone needs to talk about 24/7.

Destroyedpeople Sun 07-Jun-20 11:55:17

Oh ok yrh. .fair enough.

Notejode Sun 07-Jun-20 12:14:33

Some people do not like the term White privileged because again you are judging people for their skin colour. Which after all is not a choice.

I have never seen so much support for BLM so it is hopefully starting to changed.

Paperchainpopp Sun 07-Jun-20 12:34:22

There’s lots of threads at the minute. Unfortunately there are many obtuse people that are only willing to view things from their own eyes. Most of us know let’s be honest. You cannot force somebody and it’s a sorry state of affairs. It is frustrating though I agree I once had a friend.... we are no longer friends.

MadameMarie Sun 07-Jun-20 12:37:20

There's a lot of people who'd agree with the cause who think protesting right now is extremely dangerous and reckless and resent it after being locked down for 3 months and not seeing parents/missing funerals etc.

I fear these ill-judged protests will cause more problems than they solve.

BogRollBOGOF Sun 07-Jun-20 12:39:01

"Privilage" sounds like affluence and opportunities, private schools, higher education, fancy cars, large houses with gardens etc. Many white people don't feel privilaged, scraping by or just managing. They don't see that their appearance or their name can be another additional barrier in life compared to all the other hurdles they face.

I don't see it in my life experience, but I can listen, believe and accept that it exists.

I think the actual phrase (rather than its meaning) is problematic and triggers defensive reactions. "Majority" privilage might be a more accessible term applicable to the UK, but in reality, globally, being white is an advantage and seen as desirable.

Lots of of other demographics have their issues, some overlapping with issues faced by black and other minority communitites, but we can still listen to Black Lives Matter and learn from others' experiences.

FrippEnos Sun 07-Jun-20 12:42:10

It's gaslighting because it is telling people who experience racism that it didn't happen.

This is quite amusing given the some of the threads that are about at the moment.

in answer to your Question OP

Maybe it due to the fact that "white privilege" is being used as a catch all term and doesn't recognise the vast differences in peoples experiences of being white.

Thingybob Sun 07-Jun-20 12:45:46

I'll admit to being confused about what the BLM message is? What is it that they are demanding? Their website appears to suggest things like defunding police forces, is that correct? What do they want me, a boring white person with little influence, to do?

TheQueef Sun 07-Jun-20 12:47:22

The worst racism I have ever seen (I'm auld I've been about and seen plenty) was against a group of white people.
That doesn't mean racism is ok or black people don't experience more racism based on skin colour.
White privilege is a blanket term covering all white people (including the poor, sick, disadvantaged) some of whom arguably have never experienced white privilege.
Attributing something to an entire race wholesale is one of the definitions.

Before anyone admonishes me the white people I witnessed being targeted for their race were travellers, and they received a barrage of racism to their face.
but that's ok because gypsies

Moomin8 Sun 07-Jun-20 12:52:24

Travellers are a minority group as well though...

OP’s posts: |
Paperchainpopp Sun 07-Jun-20 12:52:43

@Thingybob maybe you need to research on topics such as black people having to work twice as hard for the same jobs as white people even though they may have higher qualifications, black people being a target and more likely to be arrested. Black people are at a disadvantage by far and NO it doesn’t mean all white people are but if your commenting lame comments such as these well...... you must be living under a rock to deny that doesn’t racism goes on. It does wake up FGS.

Moomin8 Sun 07-Jun-20 13:00:15

Maybe it due to the fact that "white privilege" is being used as a catch all term and doesn't recognise the vast differences in peoples experiences of being white.

Well it is a catch all term. And that's because white people never have and never will be subjugated for being white. White people do not have a history of being oppressed for being white. That is a fact.

When people feel the need to conflate the issue with other things like 'oh but some people who are white don't feel privileged' it does make me wonder what their motivation is tbh hmm

OP’s posts: |
Thingybob Sun 07-Jun-20 13:00:17

Paperchainpopp, that didn't answer my question. I accept there is still racism in this country but what are the BLM movement, and the protesters, asking for?

Madein1995 Sun 07-Jun-20 13:06:31

OP, I get what you mean. I have white privilege and I wasnt aware just how much until the other night when a video of a girl being told if her dads experience ic the police really got to me because she was young. I see now that it's actually quite a luxury for a parent to be able to shield their children from horrible things.

My landlady winds me up so much and I cabt say anything because shes a live in landlady I will be looking elsewhere after lockdown. All kind of ignorant comment over how 'coloureds' pushed In front of her in the supermarket and the like. This morning she said what happened in America wasnt good but she doesn't see why 'theyre' all using it as an excuse as she feels 'they' have more rights. I said I felt very lucky to not have been treated differently because of the colour of my skin and I cant imagine how horrendous it must be. She said she once was and then recited a story where a 'little coloured boy'on the bus 20yrs ago asked her where she was going, she replied to town and he said 'you cant go it's my town.' She took this to mean the little boy being racist (absurd, I take it to mean him simply being a child) and she has a massive victim complex. Constantly moaning about tbe neighbour's cooking smells and referring to 'the asians across the road'. It really gets to me and I have to hold mytongue

TheQueef Sun 07-Jun-20 13:09:37


Travellers are a minority group as well though...

Thank you. I did know. In fact it's probably more correct to refer to them as a race (genetic purity) but I have no idea if that's a contentious issue.

Do you think travellers benefit from white privilege?

Paperchainpopp Sun 07-Jun-20 13:11:37

@Thingybob people are outraged and feel that this is not the first time black people have been treated unfairly. People have had enough and since people are at home they clearly have chosen to seek the opportunity to raise awareness about the system. What are you doing about the racism are you educating others in your family? What positivity are you bringing?

Or are you hear to just cast judgement???

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