My Dm is mid 90's and lives in a different country to me. This has never been a problem in the past as she comes out to visit us regularly and I see her too when I am back in the UK several times a year.
Obviously things are different now as Dm is shielding and one of my Dc is disabled and vulnerable. Dm and I are close. As she has got older we have talked about care packages and what is right for her. I have power of attorney and she had agency carers going in twice a day. She is still sharp enough mentally, but in poor physical shape.
The problem is a near neighbour who has taken my Mum under her wing and I'm suspicious about her motives. I have met her as she's known Dm a couple of years and she's gone from being an occasional visitor who pops in for a coffee, to someone who is accepting large amounts of cash (£300 - £500 a week sometimes more) and has now been left money in Mums will. She has become an unofficial carer to my Mother and the agency carers have been scaled back.
Mum is very fond of her and won't hear a word against this woman and I'm not sure what to do. On the plus she is company and has obviously been helping when I can't be around because of the virus. The negatives are that I am uncomfortable about the way this all seems to have got out of hand since I'm not there.
Mum is naive and trusting. She tells me how she feels sorry for this lady, how awful her home life is, how unreliable her partner is, how uncaring her (grown) children are and that her car is at the garage yet again. Dm seems happy to throw money at her and it feels as though this woman's motives are not honest.
Please advise. AIBU to think she is taking advantage?
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Neighbour taking advantage of elderly Mum during virus?
15 replies
SausageCrush · 07/06/2020 11:03
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