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DH won't let me relax when I'm eating

(298 Posts)
loreleigilmore28 Sat 06-Jun-20 17:57:39

I had my second baby in December and this time around I've struggled to lose the weight I gained (probably gained more than I should in pregnancy anyway)

DH hasn't really said anything about it
apart from when I've mentioned that it's getting me down he'll say "oh well do something about it then". He won't give me sympathy but that's fine I do need a bit of a push to action.

However he's been really pissing me off about eating. Whenever, and I mean whenever, he sees me eating, even my regular meals not even snacks, he always raises an eyebrow or smirls and says "so much for the diet". It takes the enjoyment out of me eating anything at all.

Last night he rang me on his way home, quite late, kids in bed... he's getting a take away, do I want something. So I said yes please that sounds nice the usual etc...

So he comes home but then when I'm dishing mine out ( in a normal manner) he goes 'oh look at you, you cant wait'... I ignore him.
Then when I'm eating he does an impression of me eating like an exaggerated mouth stuffed "nom mom nom".

So I just went mad, told him why did he bring it if he just planned to mock me for eating it, and he'd ruined the meal for me. I put it on the side and went upstairs.
But then hes kicked off for me being rude and respectful but I'd literally had enough.
He went to work this morning still in a mood but I'm not placating him or apologising for kicking off like I usually would because I really think I've had enough.
Aibu?

OP’s posts: |
Bookaholic73 Sat 06-Jun-20 17:58:43

He sounds like a complete twat.

oohnicevase Sat 06-Jun-20 17:59:29

Sounds like he is trying to passively aggressively make you lose weight .. but in a very twatty way!!

PickAChew Sat 06-Jun-20 17:59:40

He reckons you're the one being rude? He's got a bloody cheek.

tiredanddangerous Sat 06-Jun-20 18:00:32

He does indeed sound like a massive twat. Does he have any redeeming qualities?

Windyatthebeach Sat 06-Jun-20 18:00:35

Who made him the fucking food police? Get yourself a take away tonight op.

Separate meal times and he can fend for himself..
Nasty man.
Or suggest to him there is an easy way to lose lots of weight..
Ltb.

Zilla1 Sat 06-Jun-20 18:00:36

Sorry to hear that, OP. Nothing helpful to say, really, except to stick to your guns to nip this in the bud and prevent passive aggressive comments about food from now on. I wouldn't be placating him, rather reinforcing that he owes you a heartfelt apology for deliberate rudeness or fuckwitted insensitivity.

AFireInJuly Sat 06-Jun-20 18:01:29

No YANBU. I HATE anyone commenting on what I eat. I don't have a weight issue, but I just hate it, it makes me feel really self-conscious. It's rude. My husband does it a bit - although in a jokey way. He'll go "Oh, chocolate? Ooo-ooh." I just flip out and tell him to shut up, and that I'll eat what the fuck I want. He doesn't get in a strop about it, because he knows he was pushing his luck even saying anything.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sat 06-Jun-20 18:01:49

Why would you stay with someone who openly mocks you and makes you feel shit?

Show him this thread. He’s a fucking arse.

Legoandloldolls Sat 06-Jun-20 18:01:57

He is the rude one! PA too. What a dick

HavelockVetinari Sat 06-Jun-20 18:02:13

What an absolute prick! You've just grown and birthed two of his children, yet he thinks it's appropriate to belittle you and make snide comments?! angry

He's being awful, and needs to apologise and change his behaviour.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Sat 06-Jun-20 18:02:19

Op he sounds like such a bully. You were right to kick off. I couldn't stay with someone so fucking nasty. You need to think if he's someone you want to stay with forever.

amusedbush Sat 06-Jun-20 18:02:30

He sounds like a fucking arsehole and, quite simply, I wouldn’t put up with it. He is being unforgivably rude and eventually you’ll end up walking on eggshells when it comes to eating, which is no way to live.

Sexnotgender Sat 06-Jun-20 18:03:03

He’s a dick.

Bagelsandbrie Sat 06-Jun-20 18:03:53

That is actually quite abusive. I’d tell him he shuts up or you’re off. It’s really horrible.

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe Sat 06-Jun-20 18:04:49

Hope you told him to fuck the fuck off and where he could shove his grudged takeaway!!
Prick.

KellyHall Sat 06-Jun-20 18:05:07

You both need to apologise and mean it. Partners shouldn't want each other to be upset.

Did you tell him previously that his comments upset you? If you did tell him but he continued to do it, he was out of order. If he didn't know it was upsetting you then it's not unreasonable for him to do it.

If you're not happy with your weight, try different combinations of healthy eating and exercise until you find what you enjoy that works for you. Until you're happy with yourself, you may feel extra sensitive and you also need to tell him that because in my experience men don't take hints, think outside the box or read between the lines!

Notajogger Sat 06-Jun-20 18:05:27

He owes you a massive apology. What an arsehole. I wouldn't be with someone like that!!
Imagine if he behaved like that (about food or anything else) to your kids - you'd be having none of it.

Ali2020 Sat 06-Jun-20 18:05:50

I would not be able to cope with that! He actually sounds awful. The bit where he was mocking you when eating the takeaway sounds very abusive to me.

hammeringinmyhead Sat 06-Jun-20 18:06:06

You're disrespectful? What a total wanker.

Does he have something he's sensitive about? I'd pick on it right back.

Bookaholic73 Sat 06-Jun-20 18:06:44

KellyHall

You both need to apologise and mean it. Partners shouldn't want each other to be upset.

Did you tell him previously that his comments upset you? If you did tell him but he continued to do it, he was out of order. If he didn't know it was upsetting you then it's not unreasonable for him to do it.

If you're not happy with your weight, try different combinations of healthy eating and exercise until you find what you enjoy that works for you. Until you're happy with yourself, you may feel extra sensitive and you also need to tell him that because in my experience men don't take hints, think outside the box or read between the lines!

SHE needs to apologise? What the fuck for? Eating?
She has nothing to apologise for!

C152H Sat 06-Jun-20 18:06:58

No, YANBU. Your DH has been really rude and it's shocking he can't see that.

crispysausagerolls Sat 06-Jun-20 18:10:00

I had an abusive boyfriend who was like this. Would buy me a burger and WHILE I WAS EATING IT make comments about me wanting to diet (I was a size 8 anyway had just gained 2/3 lbs I wanted to lose). It was abusive and awful and your husband is even worse.

ConkerGame Sat 06-Jun-20 18:10:10

Omg that’s absolutely awful. Why on earth would you respect someone who is so horrible to you and clearly has no respect at all for you?! And as for being rude...no, HE was the one being outrageously rude and you were responding in a very measured and understandable way.

You’re growing his child right now, he should be worshipping your body and in awe of what it’s capable of! Not making you feel bad in your own skin. You deserve so much better OP. Does he often put you down and make you feel bad about yourself?

MumInBrussels Sat 06-Jun-20 18:11:04

Does he have any redeeming features? Because so far, he sounds like a total arsehole. No, you weren't at all wrong to tell him what a twat he's being - he should be apologising, not being in a mood with you.

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