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AIBU?

New 'no fault' Divorce laws being opposed by backbench MPs

42 replies

Weetabixandcrumpets · 06/06/2020 10:26

In the news the past few days, second reading of law on Monday which will allow quicker, no fault divorce.

'MPs were told on Thursday that the Government intended to press ahead with the second reading of the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Bill into law despite the concerns among backbenchers.' (Source The Telegraph)

I believe it will allow divorce after 6 months with no need for blame. It also, I think, allows for one party to start the divorce procedure without notifying the other and have a 20 week reflection period? This may be contentious, and I can see that, although in cases where there is serious abuse may be important?

The contesting MP's seem to be arguing that it will all be too easy for couples to 'give up' and not the serious process it should be, thus allowing for hasty, ill thought out decisions and lack of respect for the sanctity of marriage.

The financial arrangement and child custody arrangements remain separate, so divorce overall will still be a costly and lengthy procedure, which I personally think negates the argument of it being frivolous!

AIBU to think that no fault and quicker divorce laws will be much more civilised, and may even lead to some couples establishing a less acrimonious post divorce relationship ?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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RoosterPie · 06/06/2020 10:30

YANBU. The matrimonial causes act is outdated and ridiculous.

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RedHelenB · 06/06/2020 10:32

You do wonder why this bill.is a priority.

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Singlebutmarried · 06/06/2020 10:36

I can see divorce rates raising following lockdown, or at least requests for and talks of.

A reflection period isn’t a bad thing, am assuming this means the whole thing can stop with minimal costs incurred.

Given the amount of coffee slurping currently happening here I could cheerfully duke, but we’re on top of each other and have been for I think now 13 weeks.

I guessing it’s being discussed now for the inevitable ‘I don’t want to spend another minute with you’ knee jerk responses to lockdown.

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Weetabixandcrumpets · 06/06/2020 10:40

@RedHelenB I presume because this was well on its way last year having been campaigned for, and was unfortunately dismissed with other outstanding business when Parliament dissolved (or whatever it is they do, although some MPs dissolving is currently quite a nice thought!) . Even with the current ongoing, ever-lasting crisis, other business needs to be attended to as well and as this had already been debated in Parliament before the world went mad, it makes sense to press on?

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LastInTheQueue · 06/06/2020 10:42

As someone who has held off divorce proceedings because we don’t want to attribute “fault” to either party, this is long overdue.
I do think there will a spike in divorces post lockdown, but I’m guessing a lot of these will have been a long time coming.

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heartsonacake · 06/06/2020 10:43

YABU. Marriage is a commitment. We should not be putting laws in to make it easier to dissolve.

Obviously barring abuse, addiction, violence etc. people should be working on their marriage, putting in effort and taking it seriously. Not considering throwing it all away after six months because they’re idiots who made the wrong choice, rushed into marriage and/or didn’t think about it properly.

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NameChangeNugget · 06/06/2020 10:50

I think it’s a great idea

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dangerrabbit · 06/06/2020 10:52

Sounds like a cause close to the PM’s heart.

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BeforeIPutOnMyMakeup · 06/06/2020 10:56

@heartsonacake by the time the vast majority of couples get to the divorce courts their marriage is long over.

Keeping it as difficult and contentious as it is now increases conflict and wastes time and money for the couple themselves, their children, the courts and society. Couples are far better of concentrating on sorting out their finances and child arrangements, then fighting over the divorce process.

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ThePianist38 · 06/06/2020 10:56

heartsonacake

YABU. Marriage is a commitment. We should not be putting laws in to make it easier to dissolve. ——-it might be a commitment but is also optional, I do not want to have to wait 2 years if I decide I don’t want to be in a marriage anymore.

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Howaboutanewname · 06/06/2020 11:00

Obviously barring abuse, addiction, violence etc. people should be working on their marriage, putting in effort and taking it seriously. Not considering throwing it all away after six months because they’re idiots who made the wrong choice, rushed into marriage and/or didn’t think about it properly

You don’t see some contradiction here? If a marriage is over, or the wrong choice was made, it’s essential people are able to move on with their lives as quickly and cleanly as possible. You will never stop people rushing into marriage in a romantic, hedonistic, all is wonderful way only to wake up a month later in a different reality.

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heartsonacake · 06/06/2020 11:22

I do not want to have to wait 2 years if I decide I don’t want to be in a marriage anymore.

ThePianist38 Then it’s not appropriate for you to get married. Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment; if you’re not okay with that, marriage is not for you.

Howaboutanewname I disagree and I see no contradiction. People need to stick with their choices and make the best of the situation they got themselves in. They need to put some effort in, work on their marriage. If they’re not willing to do that they shouldn’t have got married in the first place.

The reason there are so many miserable single mothers and middle aged men is because people don’t see marriage as a commitment anymore.

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Brefugee · 06/06/2020 11:31

equally there are thousands of people trapped because their partner won't consent because they're being a twat.

There was a really high profile case in the papers - an elderly woman is being made to wait 5 years even though her marriage has been effectively over for years.

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maddening · 06/06/2020 11:40

They let the bill lowering food standards through but not this! Fucking idiots

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ragged · 06/06/2020 11:48

yanbu

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VivienScott · 06/06/2020 11:52

Personally I think divorce should be as easy as possible, it’s getting married they should make more difficult.

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namechanging2020 · 06/06/2020 11:57

I think make divorces as easy as possible. Why should the state get to dictate how long you remained married for? If someone doesn't want to be in a marriage anymore that should be the end of it.

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GhostCurry · 06/06/2020 12:06

“ Personally I think divorce should be as easy as possible, it’s getting married they should make more difficult.”

Good point

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GhostCurry · 06/06/2020 12:06

“ People need to stick with their choices and make the best of the situation they got themselves in.”

Why do you believe this?

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heartsonacake · 06/06/2020 12:21

@GhostCurry

“ People need to stick with their choices and make the best of the situation they got themselves in.”

Why do you believe this?

Because marriage is a lifelong commitment. It’s meant to be “until death do us part”.

Anyone who is not okay with that, anyone who does not want to commit to that, should not be getting married.

Of course, like I said, that’s barring abuse/addiction/violence etc.
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Howaboutanewname · 06/06/2020 12:50

Because marriage is a lifelong commitment. It’s meant to be “until death do us part”

And sometimes it just doesn’t work out. My ex cheated on me and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a deal breaker. There was no working it out or pretending it didn’t matter. It did matter and the marriage was over. You can’t force me to stay married to someone who had no respect for me, I have too much self-respect to play ‘pick me’.

And frankly, you need to give your fucking head a wobble. Miserable single mothers. I love my independence. I will never marry again. I love a full, very happy life, thanks.

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JagerPlease · 06/06/2020 12:53

Most people do intend a marriage to be lifelong at the time! But things change and nobody should ever be forced to stay in a marriage they don't want to be in. I totally agree if you're going to make anything harder, make it getting married in the first place. You only have to give notice for a few weeks, surely that's the bit people need more time to think about! Having gone through an "at fault" divorce to avoid waiting the two years, this is a much overdue change

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heartsonacake · 06/06/2020 12:54

My ex cheated on me and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a deal breaker.

Howaboutanewname Yes, I should have been more specific in that I think affairs belong in my exceptions with abuse, violence etc.

And frankly, you need to give your fucking head a wobble. Miserable single mothers. I love my independence. I will never marry again. I love a full, very happy life, thanks.

Okay, so you’re happy. Good for you. Most single mothers, and most single people, aren’t happy being alone.

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NoHardSell · 06/06/2020 12:59

When you enter into marriage, it's with the knowledge you can divorce, so it's not been necessarily a lifelong commitment for a long time. Muslims of course have always been able to divorce, we were a thousand years or so late to catch up. Why make it a fault based process? Adults should be able to admit difference and move on without mud slinging.

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Mumoblue · 06/06/2020 13:03

YANBU. My parents divorcing was the best thing they could have done for us, and you shouldn't have to drag your dirty laundry to a court. You should just be able to say "I dont want this any more".

@heartsonacake We're well past "til death". Bad marriages can and should end. If you dont want a divorce don't get one, but people are well within their rights to decide they dont want to be married any more.

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