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Not invited..aibu to be hurt?

(109 Posts)
hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 09:37:10

Il shorten this as much as possible.
Also name changed as my other threads have too much personal info.
Last year my good friend (or so I thought ) introduced me to her friend.(gay and I'm bisexual )
We got on well but she's a player.
Now we all start going out together and I start sleeping with her and going out for food etc.
My friend got jealous of me joining the group so cut me off and the invites with them stopped.
Me and this girl continued to text daily for 10 months.
Tonight she's having a party (ex friend will be there ) and she's texting me showing me (lights,DJ machine ) etc she's bought.
I'm not invited
I feel hurt
I'm good enough to text every day
All day..but not good enough to be invited.
I had a little cry because I have feelings for her.
If she really wanted she could say to her friend (my ex friend ) she's invited me and deal with it.
I'm just hurt
I feel not good enough
At one point I thought me and her were becoming a thing.

OP’s posts: |
FortunesFave Sat 06-Jun-20 09:40:56

She's a bitch and so is your ex friend! Tell her to piss off with her nasty games! Really, NOT nice OP. Have you other friends?

hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 09:42:14

@FortunesFave yeah I've got 3 other really good friends.
I think it's more complicated as I have feelings for her.
I think that's confusing things and making it hurt more.

OP’s posts: |
ibblebibbledibble Sat 06-Jun-20 09:42:43

A party? At the moment? 🤔

Pelleas Sat 06-Jun-20 09:43:59

YANBU to be hurt, however you have said yourself that she's a player. Sadly, I think it falls under the banner of 'she's not that into you'. She's shown you the person she is - it's time to move on and stop investing time in someone who doesn't care about you. flowers

Toilenstripes Sat 06-Jun-20 09:44:24

Have your cry and move on. And by move on I mean block her. Like the other PP said, she’s a bitch.

Jeremyironsnothing Sat 06-Jun-20 09:44:38

Yes I can't go past the party thing.

Call the police on them and kill two birds with one stone. Stop the transmission of the disease and revenge.

slipperywhensparticus Sat 06-Jun-20 09:44:50

She sees you as a free ride your friend sees you as a doormat

Cut them both out

Prettybubblesintheair Sat 06-Jun-20 09:45:09

Have you posted about this before op?

YANBU to be upset at not being invited but she shouldn’t be hosting a party at the moment anyway!

hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 09:46:35

Yeah I posted last year about it too.
Well when I say party
Maybe 7 of them in the garden (the weather is atrocious here ,so no doubt will be a indoor event )

OP’s posts: |
Calvinlookingforhobbes Sat 06-Jun-20 09:46:44

Don’t be a doormat. Ignore her. She is playing with you.

curtainsforme Sat 06-Jun-20 09:53:36

Meh. People are allowed to do things. I don't think there is anything wrong with your fwb? having people round and not including you. I often do things with different friends. It would be bloody weird to invite them all to everything all the time. Do you not have other friends too?

hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 09:57:50

My ex friend made it clear If she invited me anywhere she would not go.
So I got pushed aside as they have a group of friends
Understandable I guess but still feels shit for me

OP’s posts: |
pictish Sat 06-Jun-20 10:04:00

Why is your ex friend so chewed up about you anyway? Why is she jealous?

curtainsforme Sat 06-Jun-20 10:04:51

My ex friend made it clear If she invited me anywhere she would not go.

That's not unreasonable when people no longer talk.

So I got pushed aside as they have a group of friends

They have a group of friends. That doesn't mean the one you are sleeping with has to stop being part of it.

Again, do you not have any other friends?

hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 10:05:13

@pictish my theory is she also liked this girl (even tho she claimed to be straight ) she caused a lot of trouble to put her off me.
Unfortunately she listened to it all hook line and sinker.

OP’s posts: |
Tappering Sat 06-Jun-20 10:05:34

She's a player and your ex-friend is jealous.

Neither of them sound like they are worth the head-space TBH.

I know you have feelings for this girl, but she's not serious about you and has shown that she will put your ex-friend's foot-stamping over her relationship with you.

Block them both, don't contact them again and focus on your nice friends. You will find someone else lovely to have a relationship with.

hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 10:06:46

@curtainsforme oh I know that.
She fell out with me deliberately to stop me being invited.
Honestly there was so much malicious behaviour from her (I won't bore you )
I have other friends.
I just have feelings for this girl.
It's frustrating when others can't see how nasty a person is.

OP’s posts: |
hammy345 Sat 06-Jun-20 10:08:17

@Tappering exactly !
She could have told our mutual friend to mind her own but she didn't.
She was sleeping with other girls too.
Told me she would hurt me etc
I probably shouldn't even be chatting with her.

OP’s posts: |
curtainsforme Sat 06-Jun-20 10:08:22

I have other friends.

That's good.

I just have feelings for this girl

She is going to a party with her friends, that is all.

diddl Sat 06-Jun-20 10:09:59

So you started sleeping with someone, who then stopped seeing you because the original friend wasn't happy?

But carried on texting everyday-and you engaged with them?

She's not a friend-well neither are & I don't know why you thought you'd be invited tbh as they obviously closed ranks again long ago!

Littlebluebird123 Sat 06-Jun-20 10:10:51

I think that as they were friends before and have a different group then in theory there's nothing wrong with her just meeting them. Even in a couple you don't have to do everything together.
What is crass however, is that it comes across like she's trying to rub it in your face with showing you all she's arranged and the effort she's made. She's showing you where you stand, and personally it's a place which would quickly kill my feelings for that person.

MittensTheSerpent Sat 06-Jun-20 10:12:05

Have you posted about this situation before? It sounds familiar.

bloodyhellsbellsx Sat 06-Jun-20 10:12:26

I would say your FWB obviously values her relationship with your ex friend over yours. The decision is yours now though, are you happy to play second fiddle and hope over time you’ll become her first choice? Or do you just cut them both out of your life and move on? I would chose the second option personally!

MittensTheSerpent Sat 06-Jun-20 10:13:01


If it happened a year ago, why are you still giving it headspace?

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